Think aloud
Most of us have been taught that romance is something beautiful and unique. That love can lift you high up in the clouds and that you should protect it at all costs.
However, as times have changed, so has the definition of true love.
Somehow, we learned that meeting your soulmate takes a lot of energy and time, and that it’s almost impossible to defend your heart from being torn into shreds.
Truthfully, the dating scene nowadays is emotionless, scary, and ruthless. And it appears that no one is looking for their true love anymore. There’s no more anticipation or excitement before the first kiss or the first gentle touch.
Therefore, when you hear about courtship, the first thing that you think of is some old-fashioned practices that are no longer present or applicable. But what are the advantages of courtship and was it really easier to find love in Shakespeare’s time than it is now?
What is courting?
Before we get into the rules and advantages of courtship, it’s important to know what it means and how it’s different from dating. Courtship is usually referred to as the early stage of a relationship between two people. It’s where they have the opportunity to learn more about each other so that they can develop a more meaningful and deeper emotional connection that may or may not lead to marriage.
Courtship is all about creating a wonderful and unique bond to ensure that the relationship has a clearly defined path and that it’s heading in the right direction.
I get that this term may sound outdated and that it brings back memories of our grandparents traveling for miles just to see each other, but nowadays courtship indicates something else. It’s not a decision anymore, but rather a choice that puts emotional closeness over physical temptation.
On the other hand, dating is used to define everything from hooking up to being in a non-monogamous relationship, which can be difficult to explain sometimes. In fact, many will agree that dating is a form of courtship but without the emotional part.
Advantages of courtship
1. You dedicate your attention to one person only
One of the most important advantages of courtship over dating is that it’s strictly monogamous from the very beginning. You don’t get to date multiple partners at the same time and you can’t bring any other people into the equation.
I’m not talking about being loyal to one partner – that should be normal when it comes to love as well. I’m talking about courting one person at a time and giving them all of your attention.
Things such as no-strings-attached relationships, almost-relationships, and physical intimacy without commitment aren’t part of courting, and that’s what makes it so unique and simple.
You’re all in when it comes to the person you’re courting and no one else should exist for you. And the same applies to the other person as well. That way, you’re both safe from being cheated on and getting led on.
2. A man must make the first move
Another advantage of courting is that a man is always the one who makes the first move. It should never be the other way around. A man’s duty is to chase after a woman. He should invest all of his effort and time to win her heart over – similar to the old, romantic movies.
He’s the one who initiates the communication and shows interest in a woman. Then, it’s expected of a woman to be a bit indecisive at first about his proposal and show some resistance.
At the same time, she should be modest and not behave as if she couldn’t wait for the man to make the first move. The truth is, every woman likes to be chased and courted at least once in her lifetime, but it doesn’t have to be too obvious.
I know that men out there are now saying that all of us are equal and that they should be chased too. But I’m not talking about modern dating here.
3. Emotional connection is prioritized over physical intimacy
Forget about those kisses and embraces happening before saying “I do.” Old-fashioned courtship rules don’t allow for any sort of physical intimacy before the wedding day.
Modern dating emphasizes not only emotional connection but a physical one as well. That’s why many people are scared that they’ll not be able to find someone who’ll suit their every need.
But when courting, it’s expected that both people create a deep and unique emotional connection while respecting each other’s boundaries. That means withholding physical contact for as long as you can and giving yourself enough time until you’re certain that you’ve met the right person.
4. Commitment is essential
One of the advantages of courtship is that commitment is crucial. You can’t engage in courtship if you have any commitment issues.
This is not something you do if you’re unsure that you’re ready to dedicate yourself completely to one person only. You can’t have any unresolved issues from the past and carry emotional baggage from your previous broken relationships.
You have to enter courtship wholeheartedly and not be afraid to open your heart entirely to the other person. Trying your hardest to make it work is a must when courting your potential romantic partner.
On top of that, you have to prioritize your relationship above everything else. That means you have to treat them with the love and respect they deserve and trust that they’ll reciprocate.
5. It always has a purpose
The thing that separates courting from dating is that courting always has a purpose. Sometimes people date just to have some fun or because they’re afraid to be alone. But when it comes to courting, these reasons are big no-nos.
You’re not looking for a good time and or simply exploring your options. Instead, you know that your end goal is – to find your forever person – and you’re not scared to go in that direction.
