Think aloud
You and I both know how complicated things get when we fall in love, right? But what happens when you’re silently in love? The only thing I can tell you is that you don’t know the real meaning of the word complicated.
Loving someone is, truly, the most beautiful feeling. Especially if that love is reciprocated. It brings you happiness and stability in life. It brings you peace and a sense of belonging, and you just know you’re with the right person.
But what happens when you find perfection in someone you’re not allowed to love or someone you can’t have? Is your soulmate always the love of your life?
There are a lot of movies, songs, and books based on someone who was silently in love. Maybe it was the fear of losing their loved one, or they had no other choice but to stay quiet and never express their feelings.
Whatever the reason, I’m sure you felt everything they went through.
Some people love unconditionally, but they love with a type of love we nowadays call silent love. Why do they choose to love someone that way?
Well, the consequences of openly expressing their feelings scare them to death. To quote Soar, “At times, love is silent because of too much hurt or too much care.” And I couldn’t agree more.
If you’re not confessing your feelings, it’s because you’ve been hurt before or you care too much about that person and you don’t want to lose them.
Still, silent lovers love – with their actions, gestures, and touches – just never with words.
They may never say those three words to you, but if you pay attention, at least a little bit, you’ll easily spot a man who’s silently in love with you.
What does it mean to be silently in love?
Silent love can be felt in many relationships, not only romantic ones.
Your parents, siblings, and friends can also silently show you that they love you. You know when your mom is cooking dinner even after a horrible workday, or when your older sister takes the blame for that broken vase. That’s silent love.
But, when someone is silently in love, and we’re talking about romantic love, that’s where things get tricky.
Have you heard about the term syllove?
According to the Urban Dictionary, syllove is a type of love shared between two people (syllovers) who love each other to unbelievable levels, but it can only be felt silently.
To love someone silently is to never say “I love you” out loud. Your loved one can feel your presence and your love even when you’re apart. Every atom of your being screams their name and there is nothing you can do to silence them.
Silent love is a specific type of love where you feel a deep connection with another person. It feels like you’re finally, and for the first time in your life, realizing what true love is.
This kind of love will never include a break-up, nor a girl or a boy with a broken heart. Well, at least it’s not the same type of heartbreak. Oh, and just to clear it up, it has nothing to do with the silent treatment.
How can you know if your best friend is silently in love with you? It’s not going to be easy to decode his feelings, but we’ll try together.
Signs your friend is silently in love with you
Has a good friend of yours started behaving oddly in your presence? He’s often checking your social media and talking with you about things you post – is that a sign of love or is he stalking you?
Maybe your bestie described you when he was talking about the girl of his dreams and now you’d like to know if he was just joking. Silent love, contrary to its name, speaks many languages. You just have to listen carefully.
Well, without further ado, let’s get to the list of the signs your bestie is silently in love with you.
1. He tries to make you smile
Be honest with me – does he go through hell and back just to make you smile? Is he constantly coming up with new jokes and cracking them in your presence, especially when you’re feeling down?
If your best friend tries to always make you smile, it may be simply because he likes to see you happy. But have you ever thought that he may be falling in love with you a bit more every time your face lights up?
He sure enjoys seeing your lips forming that beautiful curve, so he’ll do anything in his power to keep it that way. Do you have dimples that show up only when you smile and he already told you he likes them a lot?
Well, I hope I’m not the bearer of bad news, but it seems like your buddy is silently in love with you. He’s just trying not to share it with you, yet.
2. He asks you for advice
Did you share a job offer on your LinkedIn profile that he saw and now he’s asking you if he should apply? Is he checking with you before he buys a shirt for himself or gifts for people he cares about?
Maybe his cousin is coming to visit for the weekend and he’s asking you for advice on where to take him.
You know he wouldn’t like to go the whole typical touristy route, he’d like to show off the treasures your hometown holds. And it turns out, nobody knows that better than you.
If a man wants to know your opinion and is asking for your advice, it means he truly values you as a person. Also, it can mean that he’s silently in love with you, but only if it appears alongside other signs on this list.
3. He gives you space
He knows self-care and self-love are really important in life. Besides, you both love to have your me-time to spend it the way you want.
Whether it’s taking a long bath, or going out with friends, he respects that.
Maybe you just want to watch your favorite TV show in peace, and he gives you space. He doesn’t call you or text you until you reach out to him.
He knows how much you value “me time,” so he’ll leave you alone when you need it, without you even asking for it.
Time to open your eyes, sweetie. Your best friend is not just being the best-est best friend a girl can ask for, he’s silently head over heels in love with you.
4. He takes care of you
He never lets you walk alone late at night and he asks you to let him know you arrived safely. Does he check up on you every once in a while when you’re sick? Maybe he even brings you soup and fruits, and a lot of other things you need to get better soon?
When a man takes care of you and your needs, that shows he genuinely loves you. You can argue with me as much as you’d like, but I’ll ask you one simple question:
Would you ditch your friends just to take care of someone you don’t love?
No matter how good friends you two are, it has nothing to do with that, nor with him being polite. Be real and accept the fact that he loves you silently.
5. He finds excuses to touch you
Does he remove an invisible fluff from your shoulder? Maybe your hands touch while walking next to each other on the sidewalk and he doesn’t pull away?
When you’re with a group of friends, is he always sitting next to you? When you laugh, does he touch your forearm? Has he been hugging you more often recently, and a bit longer than usual?
No more excuses, girl, he’s silently in love with you and obviously trying to show that to you. He, probably won’t openly tell you how he feels, because that may scare you off.
However, if you do feel the same, go get him, tigress!
6. He listens to the songs you like
There’s this one song that you’ve been listening to on repeat for days and you told him how much you like it. Soon after, you caught him humming it.
Coincidence? I think not.
One of the subtle signs he’s falling in love with you is when he starts listening to music you enjoy. You may also notice him starting to send you songs that are a bit more “your type.”
When a man pays attention to the little details that make you who you are, it’s evident that he wants to learn more about the girl he’s silently in love with, don’t you think?
7. He encourages you to follow your dreams
What is your biggest dream? Did you share it with your best friend? Is he being your cheerleader and constantly pushing you forward? Yup, the guy is silently in love with you.
If he’s the one who memorizes even the smallest dream and goal you’ve made and told him about, he’s going to push you until you fulfill it. He may be even more persistent than you are, but he only wants the best for you and to see you happy.
When he offers you his support, I hope you’ll finally realize that he deserves to be out of the friend zone. Stop pushing him away if you feel the same way. If not, turn him down nicely and give him an explanation, because he deserves one.
8. He listens to you
Are you constantly whining about your day while he’s there listening? Did you tell him how your family members pissed you off right before you left the house?
If he listens to you carefully and does not complain at all, that man is silently in love with you – without a doubt!
Talking with him is pleasant. You share thoughts and ideas, and you make plans together. You often end up talking about which book you read or which movie you’ve watched.
He’ll remember how you said you love the smell of lilies and he’ll make sure he brings you some. Do you feel like someone is finally paying attention to what you have to say?
Congrats girl, that’s a sign of true love.
9. He supports your crazy ideas
He’ll be your teammate, partner in crime, lover – whatever you need him to be. He’ll follow you everywhere and he fully supports your crazy ideas.
Do you think that nobody wants to go hiking at midnight with you? Think twice.
Your bestie will jump in and walk with you all the way to the top. He’ll be game to try new things with you even if they don’t sound appealing at first.
Long story short, whether you want to try bungee jumping or figure out how grasshoppers taste, he won’t hesitate even a bit!
10. He compliments you often
Does he notice when you put on a new dress? Does he often tell you how kind and intelligent you are while giving you a tender look? Rest assured, he’s silently in love with you.
He’s probably not going to be straightforward and tell you outright that he loves you. He’ll rather use other words in his favor. Yes, you’ll have to read between the lines. But with silent love, it’s still obvious.
You sense his loving gaze every time you’re not looking in his direction. He gifts you little things just because they reminded him of you.
Maybe he’s not aware of that deep love he feels for you either, but surely his actions show you both the truth.
11. He includes you in his future plans
This is such an indisputable declaration of love that doesn’t need any explanation. If a man includes you in his future plans and wants to do everything with you, it’s a clear sign he’s in love with you, albeit silently.
When he truly loves you, you’ll be the first one to know his next step. You’ll be the one he invites as his +1 to everything – wedding parties, social gatherings, and even his company events.
Clearly, he loves spending time with you and looks forward to the future you two may share.
12. He introduces you to his friends and family
So, he texted you that his parents are coming to the city and he wants you to join him for lunch with them. Or he often asks you to go out with his friends and you’ve noticed they actually enjoy spending time with you.
Normally, when you think you’ve found the right person for yourself, you want him to meet everyone you care about. Am I right?
So, why do you keep ignoring these hints he’s been giving you? Help the poor guy out if you feel like he’s silently in love with you.
13. He’s always there when you need him
Your car won’t start or you saw the screen of death on your laptop (you know I’m talking about – that blue screen that shows up after a fatal system error, right?) and you started panicking…
He shows up whenever you need a helping hand. He even helps you with the chores you don’t like. He motivates you to study so you can finally pass that exam that’s been bugging you for a while now.
When a man is silently in love with you, he’s ready to go the distance whenever you need him to. And if that’s not a sign of true love, I don’t know what is.
What if you’re the one who’s silently in love?
Now that we’ve gone through all the signs that may help you determine if your best friend is silently in love with you, it’s time to see what to do when the roles are reversed.
Should you tell him how you feel, or should you stay silent?
To be honest, I won’t be able to answer you on this question, solely because I don’t know what kind of relationship you guys share. However, remember that you can always walk away. And sometimes, just sometimes you should do exactly that.
There are different kinds of relationships, even romantic ones. We love who we love and sometimes it sucks, sometimes it’s a match made in heaven. It’s nothing you don’t already know.
But, what should you do if you’re the one who’s silently in love? Let’s go quickly through some tips.
1. Feel those feelings
You have to accept it, baby girl. There’s no running away from how you feel. So, you need to let yourself feel those feelings. Don’t bury them, because even grief requires acknowledgment and some time to pass, right?
Sometimes it’s going to be tough, I’m not going to deny that. But most of the time, you’ll feel grateful for all the love you have inside of you that you can share with the world.
If he doesn’t feel the same way, don’t worry. There is plenty of fish in the sea and surely he’s not the first nor the last guy to break your heart.
However, if you decide to tell him and it turns out he was silently in love with you as well, that’s perfect!
2. Focus on relationships you have right now
When you’re busy focusing on those relationships you already have with your friends and family, you won’t have enough time to think about him. You won’t be able to get bent out of shape about all the what-ifs that may cross your mind.
So, nurture those relationships you already have and get the best out of them. Your friends and family are your greatest support in overcoming those negative feelings that you developed from this experience.
Don’t shut the world out, rather reach out to people who care about you and establish your own support system.
3. Love love
The first love in the title stands as a verb, to love. The second is a noun, so no, it’s not a typo.
Love is truly the most beautiful feeling that we as humans can feel. It’s all-consuming and liberating at the same time. It’s powerful and it makes us vulnerable. And it’s not always our choice if we fall in love or not.
Should you stop loving everything and everybody just because a guy hurt you?
One bad experience is not your whole story. You shouldn’t make assumptions about what could happen if you fall in love again. Don’t expect the worst to happen twice in a row. That way, you’ll only build up a wall and close yourself off from all the beauty that love has prepared for you.
So please, don’t give up on love. Rather, love it purely in all of its forms. Love it with all of your heart and fall in love with love itself.
4. Put yourself first
Be silently in love, love loudly, or don’t love at all.
You’ve got plenty of choices, but most of the time, you’re afraid to look at them. Sometimes, you’re not even aware of them and that’s okay.
It takes time to utterly meet oneself and to know what and who makes you happy. You have to take yourself to the throne of your own kingdom, princess. Life is not a fairy tale and you don’t get someone to organize a coronation for you. Unless you’re the Queen of England, that is.
Jokes aside, no matter how much you care about your crush, your friends, and your family, you have to keep this one thing in mind: You can’t allow the people you love to determine how you love.
Nobody can tell you if the way you’re loving someone is right or wrong. Nobody is going to love in your place, so you’re the only one who has the right to vote on the matter. Embrace your feelings and walk through life confidently.
