Think aloud
If you’re thinking, “Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” know that this happened to me too and it was like a cruel joke. He was having the time of his life while he was playing with my feelings and I was overthinking every small thing.
He was obviously having a blast, laughing at his phone, thinking how stupid I must have been. Nevertheless, the moment I understood what he was doing was the moment I set myself free.
There was no actual reason for his behavior other than the fact that he put me in the friend zone. I don’t particularly like the idea of this because it assumes that you’re only friends with someone for the unspoken promise of a relationship.
However, when a man knows that you’re attracted to him and all he does is use you as his personal ego-boost, then you have an issue.
All those text messages you’re getting right now are the same ones that I got from my unrequited love. It’s confusing, I get that better than anyone else. You want to know what’s going on in his head because nothing seems to make sense to you anymore.
I tried to figure those things out myself and luckily for you, I’m now an expert at this, as you can tell. We’re women who deserve so much better but in order to realize this, you also need to understand what’s happening.
He’s still texting me to this day but I now kind of understand what’s going on in his head and your love interest won’t be much different. It’s like there’s a blueprint for men and their weird behavior.
So let’s answer your question of, “Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?”
Friend zone alert: Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?
1. He doesn’t know what he wants
When you get the feeling that a good friend of yours is a great candidate for a relationship, you need to understand his side as well. He’s flirty and chatty as he’s always been but you feel that something’s changing.
You can feel the tension in the air and you’re simply confused. His body language tells you that he wants you but he still holds back. When you have a guy friend like that, it gets so frustrating as time goes on.
For that exact reason, you should understand that he may not know what he’s looking for at the moment. He has no idea what he wants, either because he doesn’t know what he wants from your friendship, from life, or from a relationship in general.
It doesn’t matter which of these is the case because the point stands that he’s not in the right mindset to be in a relationship right now.
He texts you every single day because he knows that he can talk to you. Also, it makes him feel like he can figure out what he’s supposed to do by talking to you. Maybe after a little while longer, if you’re patient enough, he’ll know where he wants your friendship to go.
2. He doesn’t want a rebound relationship
Believe it or not, some guys are actually nice. I know you’ve been asking yourself, “Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?”​ which is frustrating to say the least but you should also consider his point of view.
Has he just gone through a break-up? If so, can you really expect him to develop romantic feelings for someone so quickly after he parted ways from another woman?
I don’t think so. Don’t think that you can convince someone to be with you just because they’re in a vulnerable place right now.
He’s your friend and he doesn’t want your relationship to become a rebound, as it would only make him hate himself. He respects you and because of that, he wants your relationship to be genuine and real.
A rebound relationship would hurt both of you. It can’t be beneficial to anyone and you shouldn’t even try to seduce him at the moment.
Give him time and he’ll probably come to his senses. It’s so much better to take things slowly because then your relationship will be the real deal and not just a means to an end.
3. His ex is still a prominent part of his life
If you have ever been in love, then you may be able to relate to this. When you break up with someone, their presence in your life is still quite prominent.
Sometimes it’s because they’re actually there or they’re still contacting you, or it’s because you’re unable to let go of the past and you hold on to everything related to your ex.
He could be going through the same issue. When the wounds from his previous relationship are open, there’s no way to know how long it’ll take him to heal.
His ex constantly reminds him of the time they spent together. Even if you two are close friends, he still tries to be there for her and maybe even wants to get back with her.
It’s a good sign that he’s texting you every single day, though, as when you talk this much, it means that he’s paying attention to you. Sooner or later, your male friend could well become something more than that.
4. He doesn’t understand his attraction toward you
Here’s the thing, men aren’t that bright when it comes to their emotions. They don’t really understand what’s going on – simply because they were socialized to avoid feelings at all costs. It’s sad but it helps them avoid heartbreak.
The first time I wondered, “Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” I didn’t understand this. I thought that he was sending me mixed signals.
​Maybe this resonates with your situation, so you can try to understand that his confusion comes from a genuine place. You’ve been friends for so long that he doesn’t understand what he’s feeling.
A romantic relationship between the two of you was never an actual option before but now it’s an idea that pops into his head on a regular basis. The cute nicknames you have for each other sound different and you have regular phone calls with each other, which will make him so much more attracted to you.
This guy texts you every day because you really are his best friend but he’s not made a move yet because he’s confused about what he feels for you.
5. He’s just being polite
Are you the one who’s always initiating conversations or are you the type of girl who waits around for the guy to text her first?
Well, if you’re always the first one to contact him, then you could easily say that he’s just being polite. He doesn’t want to be rude and just read your messages without responding.
Sometimes, you’ll come across a guy like this and before you know it, he’ll change your entire perspective on men. Who could be this kind and not want to date you? However, you’re always the one to send good morning texts, because he can’t be bothered.
This guy wants to keep your heart safe but he doesn’t want anything more serious than that right now. It’s not that he dislikes you, it’s just that there could be other reasons behind his apprehension.
For now, all we do know is that he’s being kind toward you without any intention of taking things further.
6. He considers you to be one of his best friends
Taking friendship to the next level isn’t an easy thing to do. Even when one of you is considering friends with benefits, it’s still a gamble.
You never know what your relationship could lead to and you know for a fact that it could end messily, which is scary for him to consider that because he’s so used to people leaving him. For that exact reason, he doesn’t want to mess things up with you.
He sees you as his best friend and he doesn’t care about any romantic involvement with you. You don’t have to be a relationship expert to understand that this is actually a very valid excuse for his behavior.
You’re thinking about, “Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” but he could act like this because he wants the friendship to last. It’s so hard to find real friends nowadays, especially when you have mutual friends or when every past relationship started off as a friendship.
There’s so much to ruin here and it doesn’t get easier over time. That’s why he put you in the friend zone and thinks to remind you of your importance in his life by always texting you.
7. He has fun flirting with you
How many people do you know who are good at flirting? The majority of them are probably awful at it, even if some of them say that they enjoy it.
Flirting has become art not many can master, so when two people meet each other and they realize that they can flirt without feeling bad about it, then they’ll go all in. The only issue is that most of the time, it doesn’t go any further than that.
He texts you every day because he wants that type of affirmation from you. You make his insecurities disappear with your words and sometimes that’s all it takes for someone to keep in contact with you.
I hope you understand that a huge number of people just flirt with others because they think it’s a great pastime. It sounds awful but it’s very true. He could simply be one of those people who really enjoys your flirty banter and your compliments.
The issue here is that there’s no indication that it’ll turn into something more or whether you’re just getting your hopes up.
8. He’s just desperate for attention
“Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” That’s a valid question in these situations and I too thought that a particular guy could love me one day but he was just desperate for attention.
The man I was talking to was a prime example of someone who was showing clear signs he was enjoying himself. He never once gave me any reason to doubt him, other than the fact that we never took the next step in our relationship.
You’re in my shoes right now with your guy friend. He teases you on a daily basis and it feels like he’s thriving on the attention you’re giving him.
It’s sad if he enjoys this while you’re suffering. Some people don’t understand that they don’t need to break someone’s heart just to get this type of attention.
However, a majority of men will simply enjoy the attention you’re giving them. He loves to know that you’re pining over him while he simply couldn’t care less.
9. He’s bored
Is the guy who’s texting you your co-worker? Even if you’ve had a very professional relationship up until now, you’ve noticed him acting weird. He texts you every single day but he never makes a move toward something more serious.
He’s the type of guy who’s friendly toward everyone but he seems to have a special bond with you. Could this be because he’s genuinely interested in you or is he just trying to blow off some steam during his shifts?
Either way, one of the reasons why he’s texting you all the time right now is simply because he’s bored. He doesn’t understand why or how this entire thing could bother you and that’s because he’s having too much fun.
He doesn’t have anyone else who’s as interested in his stories as you are, so he’s using every single chance he can get just to start a conversation with you.
10. He’s trying to get to know you better
Why does he text you every day if he only wants friendship? Well, he’s trying to get to know you better as he can’t know what you’re like just based on your social media posts.
Yes, he wants to be friends for now but it could definitely be because he’s trying really hard to find out whether you’re compatible or not. He can’t just jump into a relationship with you without thinking about it first!
How well do you know him? Do you know him enough to know that he’s the type of guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly?
If yes, then he’s probably not playing any games with you and he’s not trying to hurt your feelings. He’s just genuinely curious about you and he’s trying to figure out who you are as a human.
Once he sees that you are or aren’t compatible with each other, that’s when he’ll know whether he should make a move toward the next stage of your relationship.
11. He’s addicted to the chase
There are so many men out there who are simply addicted to the chase. They love the feeling of pursuing a female and getting the final prize – the woman herself.
The sad truth is that there’s a great number of men out there who think of a woman as their personal property. If you’re able to move past this objectification, then good for you.
Men can be very addicted to the chase. It brings them a joy to know that they’re competing with some other man for your attention. Every time you pick him over another man, he feels sparks ignite within his chest.
The chase makes him feel superior and dominant and his testosterone levels likely get higher by the day.
12. He has a crush on your friend
“Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” I’m sorry to say but this man has a crush on your best friend! He doesn’t feel so comfortable introducing himself to your friend, so he’s trying really hard to find out what her type is.
You should pay attention to how he acts when he’s around you and then when he’s around your friend. Does he ask you a lot about her? Does he get shy or nervous when she comes over?
He’s using you as a source of information. He knows that you have the hots for him, so he knows that it’s not hard to use that to his own advantage.
13. He doesn’t understand social cues
There’s no way you’re not being obvious if you like him and the tension between two people who like each other is undeniable. The only problem with him is that he doesn’t understand social cues. He may just be being nice and he doesn’t know that it could come across as flirting.
When someone’s this awkward or clueless, you can’t really be mad at him. You probably just need to tell him straight to his face what’s going through your mind. Tell him about the feelings you have for him, as well as the consequences his words are having.
14. You’re convenient
Are you always there for him? Are you someone who’s always available to motivate him and listen to his problems?
If you are, then you’re probably just convenient to him. You’re the girl he goes to for whatever he needs.
This can make you feel special one day but the next, you’re miserable because you feel so insignificant to him. This wouldn’t happen if he actually thought of you as a potential candidate for his love life.
I know that it hurts to think that you’re just convenient to him. You feel like all of your hard work in this friendship up until now has had no meaning at all but until he finds someone who’s interesting enough for him, he’ll continue to use you for attention and affection.
This is where you need to draw the line and stop hoping for something to change. Even if he does start to understand that you won’t wait for him, he’ll just use your weakness for his own benefit.
15. You’re just on his list
There’s a long list of potential candidates and he pays attention to each of you just enough to keep you interested. He’s doing overtime to get it all done but it seems to work for him. Now that’s a dedicated man.
Jokes aside, you need to block his number and move on with your life. He thinks that all of this is funny and that you’re desperate enough to stay around after being led on for so long.
Those other girls he compares you to are the girls he should go to for advice and attention. You need to get out of there and if you know any others he’s talking to, tell them what’s been going on.
This man is nothing more than a player who has no respect for you or your feelings. He’s just waiting for a ‘friends with benefits‘ type of relationship. He wants all the benefits without the actual commitment and that’s not someone who’ll ever be trustworthy.
16. Something is holding him back
“Why does he text me every day if he only wants friendship?” Maybe there’s something else that’s holding him back. There’s a good chance that he actually likes you a lot but he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Something’s happening that isn’t letting him see things clearly. There are so many things that could be holding him back. Could it be that you already know the answer to the question?
Maybe your friend also likes him and he doesn’t want to create drama between you two? Maybe his friend is interested in you and he’s being loyal?
Is one of you going away to college or moving for a new job? Either of these could also be a very good reason why he’s not trying to take your relationship to the next level.
Just ask him. If you’re really talking every single day then you must have a good enough friendship where you can talk about these things.
