Think aloud
I’m not even going to start this letter with a nice greeting, as you don’t deserve as much. You’ve been telling others that I’m nothing more than an angry ex of yours who doesn’t deserve your time of day anymore but you never tell the people around you what actually happened.
I can’t believe that I’m even doing this. You’re not worthy of the calories I’m burning while I’m writing you this letter.
But someone has to set the record straight. Since I see that your stupid brain can’t remember the truth, I need to remind you.
I was the one who left.
I was the one who finally had enough of your stupid excuses and your bad temper and I packed my things and left. It was heartbreaking for me to tell you those words and then turn my back on you but I know that I had to do it or else I’d be stuck with you for the rest of my life.
I could’ve ended up staying next to you just because I was too scared that I may regret my decision. However, the biggest fear I had was what you might do when I tried to leave.
You know, I wasn’t expecting those desperate outbursts you had whenever I would threaten to leave you.
I didn’t think that you’d be able to throw a tantrum like a toddler or that you’d cry and yell while trying to tell me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. You even said that I’d never find anyone as good as you.
When you said those things in such a confident and demanding tone, the people around you started to believe you. I believed you when you said that you were the best thing that ever happened in my life.
But then I saw the person that you became whenever I would get a little bit too comfortable. To be honest, your controlling and possessive behavior was always present, it’s just that before that, I thought that it was cute.
You always wanted to know where I was and you’d make such a huge fuss about whom I was with because you never wanted any men around me. But you were so insecure because you knew that someone could treat me better than you did.
So what am I doing now? Am I just trying to convince you that you were wrong?
No, I don’t care what you think right now because I’m so sick and tired of your nonsense. I’ve had enough of all those countless times when you would tell me that men only wanted me for my body because I had nothing else to offer.
In your head, you were the perfect partner for me because you never had to break a sweat for that pointless relationship. You didn’t even try to treat me well!
Whenever you had free time, you’d fight with me, yell your lungs out and then turn your back on my shaking form. You would always put that poker face on and pretend like it didn’t bother you that you were breaking me over and over again.
Do you even know why I’m angry? I’m not angry at you, as you were always a piece of trash.
I’m actually angry at myself for seeing all those signs and finding a way to ignore them. I looked past all those things and I still found a way to love you.
Because I did love you, you stupid fool.
But not anymore. I love myself more now than I ever did you.
So now I believe that I deserve a round of applause for working on myself to get to this point.
I couldn’t have made it with you by my side. You would have just brought me down more and more until I completely exploded.
Just like all of those things you would throw around the room. Just like all those times when I begged you to stop acting that way and you’d just start getting angrier to prove your point.
You never stopped. It didn’t matter how much I tried to help you, to show you a brighter side, or how much I pleaded for your love.
Did it ever matter to you? Did you even care?
You absolute piece of trash.
I would love to write a letter about all those times when you held me tight to show me that you loved me but I don’t have the words to talk about that.
Because it never happened. I don’t even know what that would feel like.
You only knew how to use me, how to see me as an object, like a toy that you could toss around and break into pieces when you wished to do so. So stop telling people that you’re a saint because you’re not!
You must be the reincarnation of something very evil because that soul of yours is too wicked to be that young.
Here’s a little bit of information that you’ll be happy to know. You succeeded in making me hate you and right now, I hate you with all my heart and my soul.
One day, I’ll be free from those chains as well and I’ll show you that you were wrong. I can and I will live without you and I’ll be happier than ever.
I’ll remind myself of the things I’ll never be again. I’ll never be that helpless and scared again.
Until then, I’ll keep despising you.
Since I left, I remind myself each day that I’ll never let anyone else treat me that badly. The next man who comes into my life will be the sweetest human ever because I won’t set my standards that low again.
As you can see, they were non-existent before, as I fell for someone as pathetic as you.
I hope that you get what you want in life because that’s enough of a curse. You’ll always be miserable because you don’t even know how to wish for good things to happen.
Until next time, you narcissistic piece of trash.
