“Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
What’s the point of it? Why can’t he just let me go if he doesn’t want to be with me?”
Are you asking yourself these questions?
You are stuck with someone who doesn’t want to be with you but still wants to spend his time being around you.
He will show you and tell you that he likes you, but when you want to get real with him, he’ll say he doesn’t want to be with you.
“I like you, but I don’t like you like that.” Have you already heard that sentence? I feel for you, girl.
His words and his actions make you confused like you’ve never been before… and you have no idea how he really feels about you.
He pushes you away, and just when you think it’s over, he pulls you back in and just when you get comfortable, he pushes you away again and so on.
He sends you so many mixed signals that you think you’ll lose your mind if he doesn’t make up his mind soon.
“Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want me?”
You’re not the first girl to ask that question, and the answer could be one of the many that I’ll mention.
However, when a guy tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, you need to believe him.
Don’t let him play with your heart like it’s a yo-yo.
“But why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?” The reason could be one of these 9 things:
1. He is lonely
All of us want to be in a couple, and it’s only natural. Everything’s better and easier when there are two of you, and you’re a pair.
Most people don’t like to be alone and don’t feel comfortable being without another person so the answer to why he keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship could be that he’s simply lonely.
Aren’t you ready and available every time he starts feeling lonely? Then why would he be alone by choice?
Just because he doesn’t want to be with you in a relationship doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy the time you spend together so why wouldn’t he rather choose to be with you than to be alone?
You leave an empty space when you’re absent, so why wouldn’t he fill it by keeping you around?
Even though he doesn’t want a relationship, it feels good not having to be alone.
Just think about it. You’re asking yourself why he keeps you around if he doesn’t want you, but don’t you hate being alone too?
That is why you let him toy with your emotions; even that’s better than being alone.
He doesn’t want you, but he doesn’t want to be alone either so he chooses the better option. Can you blame him? Aren’t you doing the same thing too?
It would be better for you to let go of him, but you keep going back to him because it’s better than being alone.
2. He is insecure
When a man keeps you around even though he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, he’s probably insecure.
Insecure men find it hard to make clear decisions. He tells you that he doesn’t want to be with you, but then he wonders if he has made the right choice.
He’s second-guessing himself and keeps hoping that something will be different, so he keeps you around but it only gets you trapped inside his internal chaos.
Secure men are certain when it comes to their decisions, and they follow through when they make one.
They stick to their decision once they make it and proceed accordingly.
Why does he keep you around if he doesn’t want a relationship? Well, his insecurities apply to everything, including his place in this world.
He feels unwanted and unsafe when he’s not in a couple and finding someone else to be with is not as easy as keeping you around.
He knows how much you like him, and it makes him feel good about himself for a change so he doesn’t care that it is at your expense.
If he is insecure, that’s your answer. He doesn’t want to let you go, but he doesn’t want to commit either, and that’s because he’s insecure.
3. He’s still getting over a heartbreak
Why does he keep you around if he doesn’t want you? Well, is he suffering from a heartbreak, as that could be your answer?
Has he recently gotten out of a relationship where a girl cheated on him? It probably ruined his self-esteem.
If that’s not the case, did he have to break up with a girl because he no longer loved her? He now feels very guilty because of it.
Those are just two possible explanations, and there could be many more. You can’t really know what a guy is thinking unless he tells you about it himself.
The problem is that guys aren’t so willing to talk about their problems and explain what’s bothering them.
They would hold it all in even if someone broke their heart… which could be what happened to the man you’re interested in.
That could be the reason why he doesn’t want to get into a new relationship right now.
4. He’s with you because he’s used to it
All relationships we have with people create habits for us. You do something with a person regularly, and it becomes a habit.
When that person is not around, that time and space that was reserved for a certain habit are left empty.
Why does he keep you around if he doesn’t want a relationship? It could be exactly because of those habits, and he’s not ready to give up on them.
You developed some habits together, and he can’t let them go so he doesn’t let you go, leaving you upset and confused.
5. He’s keeping his options open
Why does he keep you around if he doesn’t want you? Is it because he’s keeping his options open?
It could be. He likes to be around you enough to keep you around until someone else comes along.
When that someone does come along, he doesn’t have to explain himself to you, because, well, you weren’t in a relationship.
It’s a win-win situation for him.
He can move on without feeling guilty since he told you from the start that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
Whenever he feels like it, he can simply push you away without doing anything wrong.
6. He doesn’t have a reason to leave you yet
He wants to keep you around because he doesn’t hate you, and has no reason to leave yet.
It’s not that he thinks poorly of you, but he doesn’t think of you as his possible romantic partner either.
The truth is, he thinks that he could find someone better. When that person comes along, he’ll forget about you and start dating them.
Sometimes we stay with someone just because a reason to leave them hasn’t shown itself yet. Our decisions are based on our emotions.
How does he feel about you? When he feels you could be useful to him, he pulls you in, but when he feels smothered by you, he pushes you away.
The reason why he keeps you around is that he doesn’t have a reason to push you away right now.
He doesn’t think of you as smothering, repulsive, or in any way threatening and in addition, he likes to spend time with you.
However, if you start bothering him and forcing him to choose, he’ll make a choice you won’t like.
He’ll show you that he doesn’t feel the same way about you, and he’ll let you go.
7. He thinks of you as a friend
All of us have friends we keep close because we can rely on them and confide in them.
You are probably his confidante, so keeps you around, and he actually likes you, but only as a friend.
Whether it’s his spiritual, emotional, or physical well-being, you contribute to it so he likes having you around.
Your company is of value to him, and that’s why he enjoys it.
The two of you probably understand each other really well, since you seem to be on the same wavelength.
You’re familiar to him, and your friendship means a lot to him, so he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t want to have anything more than that with you.
8. He feels nostalgic about the romantic or friendly relationship you had
He actually appreciates all the time you’ve spent by each other’s side, so he doesn’t want it to be over.
Maybe he doesn’t love you, but he doesn’t see that as a reason to cut all ties with you.
He values the relationship you had and all the things you built together and the feelings of nostalgia don’t allow him to let go of it all.
He doesn’t see you as a romantic partner, but you do mean a lot to him as a friend who he’d like to have in his life.
You have a history together, and he doesn’t want to pretend like it doesn’t exist.
All the nostalgic memories and the good times you had can’t just be erased.
Despite the fact that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you now, he keeps you around because you have a history together.
9. He likes you, but not enough
People have a thing they say when they don’t like someone enough to be with them. They say, “I love you, but I’m not ready for a relationship.”
That way, they give you hope that someday they’ll be ready and therefore they don’t inflict you with so much pain as they would if they just said they didn’t love you.
So, you hold on to that validation and hope like your life depends on it but it comes with a price.
That way, they prevent you from overreacting and absolve themselves of shame, sorrow, and, most importantly, guilt.
The point is that they don’t want to feel miserable about rejecting you, so they make you feel better.
So, if he has told you something like, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or suchlike, he’s not really being honest with you.
The translation of that is, “I like you, but I don’t like you enough to be with you.”
When you hear that the man you like doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, it’s hard.
It’s actually even harder than it would be if he straightforwardly rejected you and disappeared from your life.
When he’s out of your life, you can start grieving so that you can proceed to accept the loss, get over him and move on.
However, when he keeps showing up, you stay trapped in a purgatory, where the pain never ends because you never get closure.
So, figure out what the reason is behind him sticking around.
Does he feel lonely, like you as a friend, or is he keeping his options open? Is it any other reason?
In any case, you need to believe him when he says he doesn’t want a relationship.
It’s the only way you’ll be able to let go and move on with your life.
So don’t keep giving yourself false hope. A man who will want to be with you will pursue you for as long as it takes to win your heart.
The one who doesn’t will simply walk away.
These men who are between those two options are the ones who will only toy with your heart… and they’ll never give you what you need or want.
So, don’t wait for him to let go of you, because you can walk away from him.
You will find someone who’ll see what an amazing woman you are, and he’ll keep you around because he wants to be in a relationship with you… not because he doesn’t.
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