Think aloud
When you begin to have self-respect you start to change some things.
1. You place self-care at the top of your priority list.
Making others happy was your priority until now. But now when you begin to have self-respect, you become more ambitious about your well-being.
2. You don’t participate in conversations that are largely negative.
While others complain about their lives you used to idly nod, but now you don’t want to be a part of those complaints. You start to be positive. And you want to talk about happiness and positive things in life.
3. No longer playing peacemaker.
You used to be a martyr for other people’s wars. But now, you don’t feel the need to be the one who has to smooth over any situation that gets out of hand. You become someone who enjoys their own peace.
4. You don’t accept apologies if they’re not followed by action.
Apologies like: “Sorry if I hurt you”, “Sorry you didn’t get the joke” or “Sorry you’re upset” are apologies you don’t want to accept anymore. You want their apologies to be followed by action, but till then, you don’t want to accept them.
5. No longer justifying actions.
You used to explain why you left your job or why you’re dating someone. But now you don’t need anyone’s approval. Your motives are enough to make your life choices valid.
6. You are “ghosting” people with who you don’t want to speak.
You know that the mature thing to do is tell someone you’re no longer speaking to why you’re no longer speaking to them. But you choose “ghosting” them. And maybe the better course of action is just to stop.
7. Breaking others’ expectations.
You don’t owe anything to what others want and expect you to be. Their perspectives of you are limited. Conforming to them keeps you small.
8. Going home when you want to go home.
In the first place, you don’t need to go out when you don’t want to go out. You don’t feel the need to make elaborate excuses because when you say “I’m just going to chill tonight” is a statement. It is no longer a question for negotiation.
9. Not answering texts right away.
You are no longer attached to an iPhone. When you begin to have self-respect you start to enjoy your life, and not spend time consuming your mind and life with other people’s business.
10. Changing your mind.
You don’t owe anything to your younger self. You don’t chase a dream you’ve outgrown and that is why you are not failing.
11. No longer engage with people you dislike.
You didn’t owe your energy to anybody. And realizing that is not the same as being impolite.
12. Not caring if others think your lifestyle or choices are cool.
You don’t care when someone says your choices aren’t correct or wise or not. No longer valuing how other people see your life over how it actually feels.
13. Saying “no” when the answer is “no.”
Saying no doesn’t mean that you are being rude, selfish, or unkind. You were afraid of saying “no” because every time you’d say “no”, you would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude. Learning to say “no” is the best thing you can do for yourself. It will help you to feel in control of your own life.
14. No longer mean to others because you have a problem with yourself.
You start solving your problems and not being mean to others because of your problems.
15. No longer try to convince everyone to like you.
You don’t need everyone to like you. “Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters.”
16. No longer prioritize people who only make you an option.
You don’t want to feel like the third wheel or like the plus one.
17. No longer playing the victim.
You don’t need to wait for someone else to release you from your prison. You can release yourself from the chains of victimhood.
18. Being creative and not caring how others respond to it.
When you start not caring how others respond to your creativity you will be unstoppable. You will be just more creative.
19. Taking responsibility for your life.
No longer sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone else to give you an opportunity or pity you so that you can feed off of their attention.
