Think aloud
When your wife ignores you, the whole world stops for a second. You feel lost, confused, and rejected. But the worst part is that you probably have no idea what’s going on.
Husbands often face this issue when they find themselves in a situation where their wife doesn’t talk to them. Or at least, she doesn’t communicate as much as she used to.
This leads to them feeling confused since (most of the time) they don’t know what they did wrong. Did they say something they shouldn’t? Did they do something? Or is it something else entirely that’s causing their wife to act the way she’s acting?
We know that men and women don’t think and react the same way. This often leads them to arguments and disagreements that can be hard to solve when they’re not willing to listen to what the other person has to say.
So, even if you don’t know what’s going on, there must be a reason why your wife is ignoring you. Let’s get to the bottom of it so you can figure out how to act in a situation such as this one.
Why is your wife ignoring you?
First of all, your wife isn’t ignoring you for no reason at all. There must be something that’s bothering her which is why she’s acting the way she is.
Here are some of the most common reasons why your partner will give you the silent treatment out of the blue.
1. She’s hurt about something you did
The chances are that you did something that hurt her feelings. Maybe you didn’t realize it, but she probably felt attacked or upset by something you said or did.
Try to rewind some of the events from a couple of days ago and look for a moment when a shift in her behavior happened. What did you do? Did you say something to her in front of others? Did you make her feel upset? Maybe you made her feel like she’s not good enough?
Maybe it didn’t sound like a big deal to you, but it doesn’t mean that she wasn’t affected by your behavior. At the end of the day, you can’t blame her for experiencing her emotions.
2. She’s stressed out
There’s a good chance that she’s stressed out about something outside of your marriage and she’s not even aware of how she’s treating you. If you were to bring it up to her, she would probably realize her mistakes and apologize. But since she’s not aware of how you’re feeling, she’s not paying any attention to it.
Did she recently tell you that she’s having some troubles at work? Is she facing some difficult times with her family members? There are different reasons why she may be stressed and most of them don’t have anything to do with you.
Huh, at least it’s not your fault. (This time.)
3. She doesn’t know how to bring something up
Does your wife usually have trouble letting you know how she feels? Is she not used to talking about the things that bother her?
If you’re aware that she often bottles up her feelings because she doesn’t know how to start a conversation, then that could be the reason why she’s ignoring you. She simply doesn’t know how to tell you what’s bothering her so she keeps it in and in the meantime, tries to avoid any conversation with you.
In a way, she’s not trying to ignore you but it happens in the process and she doesn’t know how to change it.
What to do when your wife ignores you?
Now that you know some of the most common reasons why your wife isn’t talking to you, it’s time to figure out how to solve this issue. What’s something you can do when you find yourself in a situation such as this one? And most importantly, what’s something you shouldn’t be doing, no matter what?
Let’s find out!
1. Try to figure out if she’s actually ignoring you
Are you sure that she’s ignoring you? Could it be that she simply doesn’t have enough time to have a meaningful conversation with you because she’s always running around the house, trying to feed everyone and keep your home clean?
Maybe she used to make you breakfast before she went to work but these last couple of days, she hasn’t done that. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s ignoring you. Instead, she could be leaving earlier for work because she’s busy and has a lot of deadlines to meet.
So, before you accuse her of ignoring you, try to figure out if that’s what’s actually going on. Once you’re sure that it’s not a coincidence, you can then act accordingly.
2. Don’t go into a fight mode
You may feel attacked by the fact that your wife is ignoring you and you may want to act the same way in return. But if you do so, you’re only going to make matters worse.
Going into a fight mode right away will only affect your marriage for the worse and cause unnecessary issues. Presumably, that’s not what you want to happen.
So, instead of letting the anger guide you, take a deep breath and don’t rush into arguments. Your wife has every right to feel the way she is and you won’t change anything by attacking her. So, take it easy and think of a better way to solve the issue at hand.
3. Don’t mention divorce
“Divorce” is a word you should never mention unless you’re serious about it. We’re fairly sure that one disagreement isn’t a reason good enough for the two of you to go your separate ways.
Marriages, like any other relationship, are full of ups and downs. But just because you’re having a bad day, it doesn’t mean it’s time to pack your bags and leave.
As long as you feel that your relationship is worth fighting for, you shouldn’t mention getting a divorce.
4. Don’t assume right away that your relationship is over
Just because you’re facing some difficulties, it doesn’t mean your marriage is over. Thinking that your wife will leave you right away just because she’s ignoring you will only worsen your relationship.
So, stop overreacting and do something to fix the issues you’re dealing with. Don’t give up at the very first obstacle since you’ll only regret your decision down the line.
5. Don’t share your issues with friends or family members
Today, you’re upset with your wife but a couple of days later, the two of you will solve your disagreements and everything will be okay. In the meantime, if you share your issues with your friends or family, they will change the way they treat your wife.
You can forgive her for her behavior but they will never be able to do that. They will hold a grudge against her and will start to treat her differently.
This is completely normal since your friends and family are there to take your side. You would do the same for them, right?
So, don’t rush to any conclusions, and don’t share your marital issues with them. The chances are that you and your wife will make up but others won’t ever be able to forgive her for her actions. That’s why it’s always better to keep your relationship private.
6. Don’t seek attention outside your marriage
You’re upset because your wife ignores you but that’s not a reason good enough for you to seek attention outside your marriage. Understandably, you’re trying to make her jealous, but in the process, you may cross the line and emotionally (or even physically) cheat on her. That’s something you don’t want to happen.
If you think that your marriage is going nowhere then talk with her and let her know how you feel. It’s always better to end things with someone before getting yourself into another relationship.
Don’t turn into a cheater just because you’re upset.
7. Talk to her
Now that you know almost everything you should and shouldn’t do, there’s one last step and it’s the most important one. It’s time for you to have a talk with your wife and let her know how her behavior makes you feel.
Share your feelings with her and ask her what’s wrong. At the same time, don’t make her feel attacked because she has the right to feel the way she is.
Most importantly, try to understand her point of view and realize why she’s acting the way she is. There must be a reason why she’s been ignoring you and even if it sounds stupid to you, know that it has probably been bothering her for a while.
So, try to be reasonable and don’t rush to attack her. Even if you feel that you’re right about something, don’t rub it in her face because you’re only going to make matters worse.
Good luck! Hopefully, you’ll be able to solve this issue, light up the spark of your marriage, and keep it burning for years.