Think aloud
When your SO decides to end things out of the blue, you might wonder “Why did my girlfriend break up with me?!” Whether you’ve turned a blind eye to the signs that something wasn’t right or you were caught by surprise because you thought you were doing great, we’ve got your back.
We understand that even though your relationship ended, you have a million questions you didn’t get an answer to because you were ghosted by someone you thought was your world. When you look back on your relationship, chances are you remember the good things rather than the bad ones.
Maybe you remember the times you laughed together, led meaningful discussions, looked at the stars, and pictured your future together, or even the times you did nothing but stare at each other because you appreciated each other’s presence.
Perhaps you remember the trips you took together, the memories you made, or the times you spent the weekend at your parents’ house getting to know each other better and figuring out that you were going to spend your futures together, too.
Maybe you go back to the moment when she embraced you and mumbled something about going your separate ways. By the time you recovered from the surge of heartbreak that took over your entire body, you were alone with your thoughts and she was on her way to God knows where.
We know you’re devastated because of the breakup, but we’re here to provide you with closure. When you’re trying to figure out why your girlfriend broke up with you, you’re making a mistake by thinking of everything great when you were together. Dig deeper and you’re going to find your answers.
Why did my girlfriend break up with me?
1. She started doubting her emotions toward you
Relationships can be difficult at times. After everything you’ve been through together, there comes a time when you start to question your romantic emotions toward each other. What do we mean by that?
Whether that’s because you’ve been fighting for weeks on end or because you’ve reached a point in your relationship where you need to decide whether you’re going to take the next step or go your separate ways, there’s nothing wrong with wondering whether you’re with the right person.
We know that’s not something you want to hear right now, but there’s a chance your girlfriend broke up with you because she’s not sure whether she’s romantically interested in you anymore.
2. She changed, but you didn’t
We all want to believe that our relationship will never end, that our partner will never leave us because we’re irreplaceable, and that we don’t need to do anything to make the relationship work.
But that’s not the case. Before you turn a blind eye to your girlfriend’s torments, you might want to think back to the relationship dynamic the two of you shared before she broke up with you.
More often than not, when a woman decides to leave a relationship out of the blue, she knows she’s changed and she doesn’t want to wait for the man to change, too.
Moreover, when that happens, a woman doesn’t have some big blowup or specific problem to blame it on – which brings us to our next point.
3. She outgrew your relationship
Sometimes, we don’t grow with our significant other the way we anticipated. We change, we start working on our priorities, and we grow apart – there’s nothing wrong with that. When your girlfriend broke up with you, there’s a chance she didn’t know how to explain that she outgrew your relationship.
When that happens, we tend to turn a blind eye to the red flags telling us that something’s wrong. We stay silent when we’re disappointed and disheartened by the fact that our partner doesn’t want to take the next step. We laugh awkwardly when we realize that our values no longer match up.
When push comes to shove, you can either stay and fight or give up and go your separate ways. So, she probably decided on the latter because she didn’t think you’d understand where she was coming from.
4. The relationship didn’t live up to her expectations
Expectations get a bad reputation when we’re referring to the world of relationships, but we do need to understand that everyone enters a relationship with at least some kind of preconceived idea about how they’d like to be treated. Even though that sounds intimidating, we need to live up to those expectations.
When we don’t, we have a problem on our hands. We’re not saying that you did something wrong, but there’s a chance your girlfriend broke up with you because your relationship didn’t live up to her expectations.
Whether she expected you to always pay for everything, to look attractive at all times, or to spend all your free time with her, we don’t know. We do know that there’s a difference between healthy and unhealthy expectations, and you might have dogged a bullet when she decided to part ways.
5. The relationship didn’t meet her emotional needs
We all know that when our partner doesn’t meet our expectations, it doesn’t mean that they’re a flawed partner or that the relationship won’t succeed. Healthy relationships allow room for growth and allow you to change with your partner to ensure everybody’s needs are met.
What about emotional needs, though? Emotional needs aren’t the same as expectations, and that’s why your girlfriend might have thought that she didn’t have grounds to stand on when she decided to break up with you.
Maybe you stopped cuddling her before sleep or bringing her flowers when you came home from work. Perhaps you stopped having meaningful conversations with her and you made yourself less available. Whatever the real reason might be, you might have been the one who changed.
6. She stopped being attracted to you
Well, you wouldn’t be the only one to blame for the demise of your relationship based on appearance. When we get our hearts broken and we start wondering why did our relationship come to an end, we resort to the first reason that comes to mind.
“I gained weight and that’s why she broke up with me!” or “I know what happened, I stopped dressing up for our dates and that’s why she decided to end things!”
While we’re sure that there are times when that happens, we’d argue that sometimes relationships hit a wall when one of the partners stops being attracted to the other. This doesn’t have to have anything to do with appearance.
Attraction stems from a million little things. From the way you look at her when you take her out on a date, the way you smile at her when she touches your thigh, to the way your hands drape over her waist when you’re dancing. At the end of the day, attraction can fade with time and there’s nothing we can do.
7. She was the only one trying to keep the relationship going
Now, your girlfriend might not have been happy with your relationship the same way you were. When you look back on the things the two of you did together, you remember the memories, the snuggles and naps you took together, and the fun you had together.
However, when she looks back on your relationship, there’s a chance she remembers the energy and effort she provided to make you happy while waiting for you to do the same thing for her.
Besides, you probably didn’t even notice that she wasn’t happy because she was doing all that work to ensure your relationship was headed the right way.
8. She was taken aback by your lack of consistency
We don’t know what happened between the two of you, but we do know that relationships require time, energy, and effort not everyone’s willing to sacrifice. At the beginning of the relationship, you were probably more than happy to surprise her, take her on a date, and shower her with attention and affection.
And that’s great, but that’s something that needs to go on for years and years to come because that’s the standard you set. “Are you sure everything’s OK between us,” “Did I do something to upset you,” and similar questions are a woman’s way of trying to figure out what changed.
When your girlfriend asked you these questions, she wasn’t trying to get on your nerves or start a fight. She was trying to understand whether the two of you were on the same page. When she concluded that you weren’t, she decided to depart.
9. She met someone else
Without beating around the bushes, we do need to address the possibility she might have met someone else and that’s why she decided to break things off with you. We know that’s the one thing you didn’t want to hear, but that’s the reality of relationships – sometimes they’re destroyed by cheating.
When she broke up with you, she probably didn’t want to break the news to you because she knew you would be heartbroken. Whatever reasons she might have had to do what she did, know that you’re not the one to blame and you deserve to move on with your life. Good luck!