Think aloud
A rebound relationship usually represents a substitution for the love that was lost in the previous relationship.
Such a relationship is filled with regret and sadness, and generally doesn’t lead anywhere.
Still, they are seen as a magical cure for a breakup.
Like an eraser can make mistakes disappear, a rebound makes all of the post-breakup wounds disappear. (At least, that’s what people want to happen.)
However, a rebound relationship is a scary place where you’re never sure what will happen next.
They are a mixture of pain and grief, of excitement and exhilaration.
What makes a rebound relationship terrifying is the shift that happens at the end of it.
A person in pain enters a rebound relationship not looking for anything serious. They simply want to get over their ex.
After the rebound, they usually feel happier and better.
On the other hand, the other person who believed that the relationship would be a success ends up being hurt. Or they may even end up devastated.
A rebound relationship represents a temporary solution for the one who just went through a breakup.
It (superficially) covers the scars that their ex left but it can’t heal them fully.
Going from one failed relationship straight into another doesn’t give you enough time to cope with the reality of things.
So we can safely say that rebound relationships are doomed to fail.
But… What if you are a rebound for the other person?
How would you know what their intentions are? Will he toss you away after he’s done rebounding or is he here to stay?
How to know whether you are just a rebound?
Sometimes, you feel that a relationship isn’t genuine enough and that it’s going nowhere.
If you want to ensure that you are not in a rebound relationship, keep looking for the following signs.
They can help you understand the background of the relationship.
1. He just went through a breakup
If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who just broke up with someone, chances are you’re just a rebound.
Rebounders think that by immediately entering another relationship, they will get over their ex faster.
They feel that this relationship will help them move on but the reality hits different.
Instead of helping you heal, a rebound relationship only creates an illusion of happiness.
Instead of feeling happy, you will feel like your partner brought all of his emotional baggage into this new relationship.
Their head will still be in the previous relationship and you will struggle to reach them.
2. He doesn’t want to talk about his previous relationship
If he can’t talk about his previous relationship in a normal, healthy way, without eye-twitching or a furious facial expression, then he is not over it!
When this is the case, you’re probably just a rebound whose purpose is to help him forget his bad experiences.
If you ask him the reason for the breakup, he’ll tell you that he doesn’t know or he’ll avoid answering.
This usually means that he didn’t have enough time to reflect on his previous experiences as he entered into another relationship too soon.
Instead of explaining what went wrong, he ignores the problem and sweeps it under the rug.
3. He doesn’t want anything serious
If he warns you at the beginning that this relationship will be ‘no-strings-attached’, then he is giving you clear evidence that the two of you will hardly have anything serious.
After a bitter breakup, a rebound relationship serves only as a distraction and a way of keeping your mind off the past.
In the mind of a rebounder, you are nothing more than a casual break from a serious relationship.
After he has gone through a breakup, the last thing he wants is to immediately find himself in another serious relationship.
Don’t think that you can slowly change his opinion.
If he openly told you that he wanted to keep things casual as he just went through a breakup, chances are that you are just a rebound and, after some time, your relationship will end.
4. He is always thinking about his ex
If he can’t tell you why his last relationship ended but constantly talks about his ex, you are his rebound.
Rebounders believe that by going out with someone new immediately after a breakup, it will make their ex jealous. Sadly, that’s where you come into play!
You two will probably end up in a bar where his ex constantly goes one too many times, and it won’t be a coincidence.
He wants her to see that he has (apparently) moved on but the reality is that he’s still stuck in the past and that she is everything he thinks about.
Also, if every story he tells ends up having his ex in, he is not ready for a new relationship.
Everything you say may remind him of her so he will always compare you to her. Sometimes you will be better than her and sometimes worse.
The issue is that she’s the one who is in his head, while you’re just there to distract him.
5. He is emotionally unavailable
Being in a rebound relationship means that you won’t be able to connect with the rebounder.
He wants to keep things casual and he is not looking for anything serious.
This means that he doesn’t want to open up to you as he knows that you are just a fling.
If you feel that your communication is superficial and that you are the only one who is emotionally involved, then you are stuck in a rebound relationship.
Time will not be on your side and it will not help you change your partner as he knows that he is not ready to open up again.
You two will spend a lot of time together but he will never be able to let you in.
6. He plasters you all over his social media
If you feel that he’s always thinking about his ex and can’t emotionally devote himself to you but still ends up posting you all over his social media, there’s a good chance that you are just a rebound.
Usually, it takes some time for a new relationship to evolve and become secure before you and your partner start sharing your relationship with others.
However, if he starts doing that immediately after you two start going out, then it is a red flag.
He probably wants to make his ex jealous by showing her that he is in a far better state than she left him in.
If you feel that you two still don’t know each other well but his social media makes it seem like you two have known each other for years, then you are stuck in a rebound relationship.
He is running ahead of time, trying to prove that he is over his ex, but his actions are exposing him.
7. You have a feeling that you were not his choice, but the first option he came across
Sometimes, you can feel it in your gut that the other person isn’t with you because of your personality but only because you were a convenient choice at the time.
This is the worst feeling in the world and it can make you feel devastated.
If you feel that your partner ended a relationship, went to a bar, saw you, and thought, ”This one will work,” then it’s probably true.
Your feelings rarely fail you, so it’s better to trust them and leave, especially if you’ve already started to have feelings for him.
Be quick and react! Don’t let yourself fall into a trap!
If you tested positive for the majority of these signs, then I’m sorry to tell you but you are just a rebound.
He doesn’t want anything serious with you and there’s a low chance that he will change his opinion.
You are just a temporary phase whose job is to distract him from the breakup pain and help him heal his wounds. That’s all.
So, instead of sticking around and hoping that something will change, set yourself free and run away before you get hurt.
