Think aloud
Women aren’t the only overthinkers. Men have their doubts as well, especially when it comes to relationships.
They often worry about all sorts of things, but the main difference is that they usually keep quiet about their insecurities. Instead of letting their partner know what’s bothering them, they decide to deal with the issues on their own.
But just because men hide their overthinking moments, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t talk about the things they overthink.
Here are some of the common worries guys usually face when in a relationship. The list might surprise you.
1. Comparing themselves with your ex
We often think that a man doesn’t have the same nagging thoughts as a woman does. But even though we’re not aware of it, he also tends to compare himself with your previous partner/s.
Believe it or not, it’s one of the things most men overthink about. Especially when he realizes your ex was a charming and handsome man. That’s when the comparison really begins.
A man will start wondering if you truly like him for who he is or if he’s just a rebound guy. Does he need to change something about himself so he looks more like your ex? And can he even compete with him?
Men feel threatened by the guys who came before them, the same way women feel jealous of their boyfriends’ exes.
Sometimes a guy can really good at hiding the fact that he’s overthinking the way you see him and then trying to figure out if he could be better than your previous partner.
This usually happens at the very beginning of the relationship, while you’re still getting to know each other.
2. If they’re good enough
Men can act all tough and macho, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not insecure. When they fall for someone badly, they want to impress that person, which then makes them realize all of their flaws.
Then, instead of focusing on their good sides, they often start doubting themselves because they think that they’re not good enough for you.
The main difference between women and men is that we usually admit if someone or something is making us insecure. We let the world know that we’re dealing with emotions that are impossible to keep bottled up.
Men, on the other hand, are masters at hiding those feelings because they’re faced with this constant need to be strong – both emotionally and physically.
But deep down, they too may be insecure about themselves and face a lot of moments when they experience low-self esteem.
Unfortunately, society taught them that they shouldn’t talk about these issues openly, which is why they stay quiet and feel like they need to suffer in silence.
3. That their girlfriend will leave them for someone better
Related to that feeling of not being able to measure up, guys also overthink the possibility of their girlfriends leaving them for someone else. Someone better than them, someone who’ll possibly make all of their wishes come true.
Many men think that their partners are better than them but they keep those words to themselves. That’s exactly why they worry if their girlfriends will leave them for someone better.
So, even though your guy knows that you picked him, he’ll still have those moments where he doubts if you’ll actually choose to stay with him. What if someone better walks into your life?
Surely you won’t decide to stay with him when there’s a better opportunity standing in front of you, right?
4. Losing their independence
Besides overthinking about your exes and new guys that may walk in your life, many men also get extremely worried about losing their independence in a relationship.
Being independent plays a huge role in a man’s life. Take that away from them for a moment and they won’t have any idea how to behave. They will feel like you took the most valuable part of their personality.
A man might start worrying that a relationship will make him feel trapped. What if you want to meet up with him every day?
And what if his friends start making jokes about him? What if he loses time for himself and spends every second with you?
Men hold their independence close to their hearts and feel that they can’t live without it. That’s why most worry about what will happen when a woman walks into their life.
Will you try to change him? And if so, should he leave you right away because there’s no chance that he can survive losing such a huge part of his personality?
5. Losing masculinity
Besides losing their independence, men are also afraid that their relationships will make them more feminine. Bear with me – let me explain what exactly goes through their minds.
When a guy falls in love and starts a relationship, he feels this fear of change. What if love changes who he used to be before it? What if it takes his masculinity away from him?
Showing affection in public, holding his girl’s hand, spending a lot of time with her – will any of those things make him less of a man? And then, when he opens up to you and shows you his real self, will he stop being the tough guy?
How much is too much and what will happen if he gets too vulnerable with you? Those are some of the things men overthink about, despite never really talking about them.
6. Losing the spark
At the very beginning of a relationship, sparks are flying everywhere. You genuinely feel the connection between the two of you and everything seems idyllic.
But a man will start to worry about what will happen later. When you get to know each other better, will the spark be gone? Will your love turn into a boring old routine that he’ll eventually come to hate?
And if that happens, should he stay in the relationship or look for happiness elsewhere? Is it possible to reignite the spark or is it better to let go and move on?
For men, a relationship stops being fun once the spark is gone. And we all know that they can’t stand doing something that doesn’t make them happy and isn’t thrilling and exciting.
That’s why they worry so much about losing the spark and having to deal with a once interesting relationship that’s fizzled out to an average, dull one.
