Heartbreak

He Left Me, So Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Him

He Left Me, So Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Him
Written by Lauren Dover

Every girl finds herself in a situation where she can’t stop thinking about ex, and I was no different. He left me, so why can’t I stop thinking about him? I asked myself that question a thousand times, and if you are asking yourself the same, I might be able to help you.

We often fall in love with the wrong person, and by the time we realize it’s the wrong person, it’s already too late, and we are feeling obligated to stay in a relationship. Who is the one who finally puts a stop to it is almost irrelevant. Because once you loved someone with all your heart, that love will continue to light that flame in your heart, which makes you want to go back until it burns you again.

Why did he leave me if he loved me? Maybe he never really did, or perhaps our love burned us one too many times. When he left me for her, he closed the door of us ever being together again, and I was devastated. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t stop thinking about him, and all in all didn’t have the will to live without him. If you are feeling the same right now, let me tell you something, and you have to trust me – no matter how unlikely it seems at the moment, it will pass, and you’ll even feel grateful he did it once you meet that special someone who is never going to leave. I know you heard it a thousand times before, but it is actually true that time heals all wounds.

If you can’t stop thinking about ex and are wondering, “why did he leave me” let me answer that question for you – he left because he wasn’t meant to stay since he isn’t The One for you. And I’m sure somewhere behind all the romanticizing of your memories with him, you are aware of that too.

Let me tell you what might be bad advice but definitely works when you are trying to get over a breakup and feel like you are alone in the universe. Find someone new. No, this is not the moment in which you want to meet your Mr. Right, but it is a moment where you need someone in your life to make you forget about your ex and feel less lonely. At first, you just need to find a friend, preferably a guy friend who will be there for you when you need him and replace a man in your life that is missing.

When he left me, I started hanging out all the time with one of my guy friends, and I couldn’t stop talking about my ex. He asked me why can’t I stop thinking about him, and I said – because I miss him like the desert misses the rain. Having someone I could say that to helped me feel better, and you should also have someone you can bother with the painful truth, but never say it to your ex. He doesn’t deserve to know how much he hurt you and how you yearn to give him a second chance, because he doesn’t deserve a second chance either.

Having a guy friend you can talk to will be helpful, but you will soon notice that it is not enough. What you actually need is a new boyfriend that will make you forget about the old one, but you have to admit that you are incapable of loving again at the moment, and no guy deserves to be your rebound relationship. But what would really help you actually is a rebound relationship. This is why, if you are open-minded this is a great time to try having an NSA relationship. No strings attached relationship is just about company and sex, and all sides of it are aware that it is not a serious relationship, so you don’t have to feel guilty about thinking about your ex. This might not be the right way to get over your ex, but sure is an effective one.

Soon after it, you will realize it’s not enough, and you want someone you can call your boyfriend and have all that you had with your ex and more. But if you are still obsessing about the fact, “he left me” and wondering “why can’t I stop thinking about him” you are still not ready for a new relationship, so use your NSA friend to replace a boyfriend in your life and start focusing about other areas of your life.

When he left me, like many others, I put my energy into growing as a person and starting a career. But I couldn’t help but wonder – why did he leave me if he loved me? The answer is he didn’t, at least not anymore. And even if he did, it’s time you realize, love is just one of the parts that make a relationship successful, and it is often not enough. You also have to respect each other, make each other feel good, and communicate well in order to get along. Sometimes, two people can love each other like crazy, but they are just not the right fit for each other. So I had that realization and made peace with my breakup because I knew we loved each other, but I also knew that was never enough.

After you have made peace with the fact he left you and healed, it’s time to start dating again. If he moved on so quickly, why can’t you? I’ll tell you why you can’t. During that dating period, I was actually glad when it turns out to be a bad date because it would give me a chance to talk about my ex to the poor guy I was on a date with. And after some crappy dates like that, I found myself on a date with the guy who actually wanted to know about my life, including the part about my ex.

I was completely honest with that guy, and I continued to be to this day. I intend to keep being honest with him for the rest of my life since he is now my husband. How about that for an ending? Now, I rarely think about my ex, and when something reminds me of him, I just think about how stupid I was and how grateful I am that he left me because I would never have met my husband if he didn’t.

This might seem impossible to you right now when you are just thinking about why did your ex leave you, and why can’t you stop thinking about him, but let me stop you there – he left you to give you a chance to find The One, and you can’t stop thinking about him because you mistook him for The One. And The One is waiting for you to get over your ex so he could shower you with love and show you what it really means to be a loving boyfriend, because, believe me, your ex wasn’t.

Now, here is some practical advice on how to get over him even though you can’t stop thinking about ex:

Delete his number

The number one rule is that there shouldn’t be any more contact with your ex. Don’t call him, don’t text him and don’t stalk his Facebook profile. Do yourself a favor, if he contacts you, ignore it, don’t answer his calls.

Get rid of all of the stuff that reminds you of him

Old photos go to the trash, as well as all the presents he gave you and other things that could remind you of him.

Forget about sleeping with him again

Surely you will consider sleeping with him once again, but that is the worst idea you could possibly have. It will only make it worse and harder for you to heal.

Give yourself time to heal

Time heals all wounds. Stay in bad and watch romantic movies while you cry and drink wine – that is perfectly fine.

He is not the only man in the world

Allow another man to come to your life, flirt, and know that one night stand is okay, as long as it’s not with your ex.

Get out of the house

It is important to remember to have a social life. Go out, have a girls night out, dance and sing, or whatever makes you get out of the bed.

Find a hobby

It’s essential to keep your mind occupied to avoid getting it to wonder what could have been. Start painting, writing, doing yoga, learning new things, and dedicate yourself to anything that interests you and keeps your mind busy.

The One is one his way

Never forget that your special someone is just around the corner. He is on his way to sweep you off your feet, it just might take him longer to get here than you would expect, but you need time to heal anyway.

Good luck!

He Left Me, So Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Him

About the author

Lauren Dover

My name is Lauren. I am writer by day and hopeless romantic by night. I live my life with a simple motto. "What can I do for you?". I strive to help readers gain an understanding of intense emotions, like heartbreak and getting through it. I think together we have the ability to overcome the challenges life throws our way and even in those times you hit rock bottom, I see it as a wonderful platform to begin again.

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