Think aloud
The most natural thing we as human beings do, if we’re in love or if we deeply care about someone, is that we tend to put them at the top of our priority list.
We never falter in front of the idea of moving everything aside to be there for them.
But what happens when the person we thought to be worthy of all of that time and effort doesn’t seem to reciprocate?
You feel unhappy, you feel unheard and you feel like an option to them, instead of an actual priority.
Here are the heartbreaking signs that you will never be a priority to him:
1. A lack of physical intimacy
A lot of emotion can be transferred through simple touch and if his touch occurs only in the bedroom, you will feel taken advantage of.
Physical intimacy is so much more than that; it’s the way he holds your hand in public or kisses your cheek when you least expect it.
A lack of something that says so much with such little effort is a clear sign of an issue.
It doesn’t have to be some disgusting PDA, but rather small gestures or a minuscule task, seemingly forgotten.
2. You’re the one who makes all the plans
Whether it be a memorable date night or a Valentine’s Day surprise, you’re always the one doing the most.
You organize and schedule all of your plans and he doesn’t even seem to acknowledge the effort, let alone reciprocate it.
You’re always left to wonder if he’ll remember your birthday or any other important event in your life, to actually make an effort and organize something to surprise you.
But by now, you know better than to expect anything.
3. He spends more time with his friends than with you
You tried reaching him multiple times, but he isn’t available and you know that it’s because he’s out somewhere with his friends.
Sometimes it even goes as far as to him avoiding you or canceling on you last minute for them, and you never seem to be bothered by it.
The truth is that it’s a telltale sign of him not putting you first.
Of course, friends should never be left out, but he needs to know his own priorities, especially if he doesn’t even think twice about ditching you for them.
4. He doesn’t text you as often
Yes, this is an issue and you are more than allowed to be mad about it.
Texting is part of knowing if a guy likes you and we can’t just move past the fact that it has become a crucial part of all of our relationships.
So you being mad is totally justified!
You might have even caught him texting people when you’re with him, laughing, and interrupting your conversations to text someone back, but whenever you text him, he doesn’t seem to mind leaving you on ‘read’.
5. He doesn’t argue with you
Contrary to popular belief, arguments are a way to deal with issues in your relationship.
You are allowed to argue with your partner, if both sides are being heard, in order to solve a problem.
The thing is, whenever you are angry and you’re trying to articulate your thoughts, he shuts you off.
He says that you’re overreacting, that he doesn’t want to talk about it, or even that you’re crazy for bringing something up.
The action that happens after these encounters is very often just him trying to leave the room, not even bothering to listen to you.
6. He doesn’t stick up for you
You know that feeling when you’re arguing with someone and your first thought is to look for comfort and support?
And that crushing feeling when you see them taking someone else’s side instead of sticking up for you?
This is what says, “You are not my priority,” louder than anything else.
In the group setting you might be in, he should be the one to have your back, but in order to maintain his relations with the group, he turns his back on you.
7. He breaks the promises he made
You should never beg for someone to keep their promises. If they break them, it speaks volumes!
No one is entitled to your time and space. He was the one who made those promises and forgetting about them is not and never will be an excuse.
If you were the first person on his priority list, we both know that he wouldn’t dare to break a promise.
He should have done everything it takes to keep that promise.
8. He leaves you hanging when things are tough
When you truly care about someone, when it’s real love, you don’t just give up; you fight for it!
Whenever he feels things getting just a little tough, he turns his back on you and the worst thing is that on days like these, you need him the most.
He doesn’t even try to listen or understand.
You have pulled yourself back on your feet more times than you can count. All by yourself.
Because you can’t rely on a man who obviously finds everything else to be more important than you.
9. He doesn’t involve you in his plans for the future
Are you once more waiting for him to mention you in any of his plans for the near and/or far future?
Chances are that he doesn’t even want to see you there.
He doesn’t mention you whenever he’s talking about anything other than the present? It’s sad, but the truth is right in front of you.
You can hear him talking about future employment, about where he plans to move or he says something along the lines of, “My future partner and I…” while you’re right there next to him, and of course it will break your heart.
You shouldn’t wait for him to change his mind, because the chances of that are close to non-existent.
10. You feel taken advantage of
You are always the one to make a sacrifice, whether it be accommodating to his schedule, going to his favorite places, or doing all the things he wants to do without ever considering your wants and needs.
He never listens to you, but always wants you to listen.
He only reaches out when he needs help and doesn’t show any type of interest in your own personal life.
You shouldn’t excuse this type of behavior and you know this. You know that being someone’s priority does not feel this sad and lonely.
When you’re someone’s priority, they will find every single way they can to make you feel heard and loved.
He is doing the exact opposite. You deserve better than that.
11. You catch him lying constantly
Sometimes it’s the little things that show you where you stand on someone’s priority list but other times, we choose to ignore the signs.
Catching him mid-lie is a huge sign of blatant disrespect for whatever kind of relationship you two have and there is no excuse whatsoever for such behavior.
I wish I could find a nice way to break this to you, but you know too well yourself that someone who lies about where they’ve been and with whom has something to hide, something they don’t want you to know.
Loving, nurturing, relationships aren’t built on lies. So be honest with yourself. You need to love yourself and make yourself a priority so that he has no control over you.
Respect yourself enough to leave anyone who has the audacity to put you on a spot anywhere lower than the top of their priority list.
