When you’re still on the dating scene, there are many men in your DMs trying to get to know you or take you out on a date.
It seems so easy for men to compliment you. They know all the right things to say – what to tell you to make you blush, how to make your heart skip a beat.
Men so easily seem to fall in love with you at first glance. I mean, why wouldn’t they? Just look at you!
Look at all the amazing things you’ve done in your life. Every time you wonder why you’ve caught someone’s interest, just look at yourself! Look at your pictures, look at yourself in the mirror, and remember who you are.
I know that you’re probably just as insecure as many of us are. The men around us can make us cautious about expressing our confidence because they have a weird need to humble us.
When a woman is confident, they make her feel stuck up and weird. The aftermath is the fact that she then sits with even more insecurities.
But from the outside, people would never say that about you. Especially not men.
They see a gorgeous woman who has her life together and they want to pursue you. They want to show you they can take care of you the way you need to be taken care of.
That is until their dream girl becomes “too much.”
Let me set this straight once and for all: You don’t need a man to save you.
Everyone’s talking about the hero instinct and that men need to feel like the protectors. As if they need you to be a damsel in distress so that they can feel confident and manly.
They need you to forget how strong you are so that they can be strong for you.
This doesn’t mean that they can’t take care of you. You don’t have to seem helpless to make a man feel good about himself.
You’re strong. The fact that men need you to be weak so that they can feel empowered is their problem.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that they’ll feel threatened by you and call you too much. You were everything they wanted, but then you were “too much.”
They think you’re too much because you’ve set your own boundaries.
Boundaries are so extremely important in relationships. You know what you need and you know what you’re ready to give to someone. You can also suss out when someone’s trying to gaslight or manipulate you.
You understand the way people’s brains work and you set those boundaries in a healthy way to show them that you’re not someone they can mess with.
When they try to control you, you put your foot down. And that’s exactly when you become too assertive and dominant. You’re “too much” because they’re not used to a girl who can communicate her boundaries well.
Now you’re someone they point at when they want to blame someone for why things didn’t work out – instead of blaming themselves for trying to manipulate you.
You won’t be anyone’s therapist and you don’t exist to fix others.
You shouldn’t have to deal with someone’s trauma and mental health issues just because you’re their girlfriend. Sure, you’re their partner, support system, and best friend – but you’re not their therapist.
That’s why you don’t deal with abusive partners. You may support them through their journey, but you can’t just sit around and handle their problems.
You’re “too much” because in their eyes you’re not the partner they want.
They want someone they can break apart and put back together whenever they please. You’re their dream girl until the point where they see they can’t just use you for their own benefit.
You’re not someone who likes to play games. It’s either all or nothing.
On the dating scene, men just seem to look for someone to play some games with. They lovebomb you one moment and then decide, just like that, that they’re done with you. That’s when they completely disappear from you.
But you’re not the girl who will deal with that.
It’s either all or nothing. You’re not going to sit around and wait for him to text you back.
You’re not the girl who will sit around in her house because he forgot that he told you he’d pick you up for your date. You have a life to live! You put your makeup on, so you might as well go out with your female friends.
He saw you as his dream girl before you showed him that your own life is so much more important to you than a man ever will be.
But that doesn’t mean that you don’t want romance. You crave it, you need it.
The truth is that you just don’t want to be heartbroken again. You don’t want to end up in a pool of tears just because of a guy again. You’re done with that.
Whoever says that you’re going to end up alone because of your high standards is lying to you. Your standards aren’t too high – you’re simply ready to give him all the things you want to receive.
There’s someone out there who will see you as their dream girl and never as “too much.” If anything, your special someone will consider you just enough.
You’ll be more than happy that you waited and made the decision to ignore those men who think of you as a girl they can play games with.
One day you’ll meet the right guy. So be your own dream girl until that day comes around, because you’ll be thankful to yourself.
The right guy will love you just the way you are.