You’re so used to everyone leaving, it’s no wonder you’re so afraid of commitment.
In today’s day and age, everything moves so fast, you can’t even keep up with the people that keep coming and leaving. Your life is constantly changing and so are the people around you.
You never questioned it too much.
Until the moment you met him and everything went downhill.
When you have a past filled with men who didn’t know better than to play games with you, a real connection seems like a scam. It’s too good to be true!
The men that you were with before are the ones who turned you into the woman you are today. It doesn’t matter how much you tried to escape their influence, you simply couldn’t do it!
At this point, you’re a mosaic of all the people you’ve ever loved.
They’d leave you the very moment they saw your vulnerable side. You’d wear your heart on your sleeve and all they saw was an opportunity to break you into pieces.
But you grew from those experiences. You know what you do and don’t want in your life precisely because of the unreliable people in your life.
They would misuse your kindness, treat you like you don’t matter, and then discard you when you no longer served their purposes.
Sometimes, they’d keep you around just for their own selfish pleasure – they wanted to know that you wouldn’t move on that quickly.
How absolutely awful can people be? To thrive on knowing that you were still patching up wounds that they caused?
So naturally, you’re going to be cautious. You’re wondering if everyone’s like that and questioning everyone’s motives.
So when he comes around, it makes sense for you to be suspicious. He seems so nice and kind that you wonder what he’s trying to hide.
Once he convinces you that he’s truly the man that he presents himself to be, you still wonder if you’ve made the right decision.
Loving someone for the rest of your life is a huge commitment and right now, it doesn’t seem like something that anyone’s capable of doing.
All of these people around you get cheated on, abused, and misused, so you’re left doubting if love even exists. You want to believe that it’s true, but you also aren’t delusional. These people say that they’re in love, but they never seem to keep their promise of forever.
So how do you trust him and his promises? How can you turn off that voice in your head that continues to tell you that committing to someone will doom you?
Well, first and foremost, you need to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you!
With so many tragedies and too many broken hearts, you’re just trying to protect yourself. Your mind is trying to remind you that you can’t just give in to someone that easily.
Commitment issues aren’t always an awful thing. Sometimes they’re there as a way to protect you.
Even when you find the person you want to spend forever with, your mind will play these tricks on you. It’ll ask you multiple times if you’re ready – if you’re sure this is the one.
There’s always a chance that this love will come to an end. You’re not ready to face another day of having your heart shatter and crying your eyes out.
People simply didn’t teach you that love is supposed to be forever. They showed you just how fragile it is – and how fragile you are.
And that’s why it’s totally okay to doubt everything.
If this is truly your forever person, then he’ll understand and affirm you every single time. He’ll remind you that your feelings are valid and that you have to communicate these things to him.
The love of your life will spend each hour of each day showing you that you’re making the right decision.
He will take your questions and your overthinking into consideration because he knows it’s probably hurting you way more than it’s hurting him.
The man who’s meant to stay by your side until his last breath will understand that your fear of commitment doesn’t have anything to do with him, but with your past.
He knows that you’re scared that this will get in the way of your healthy relationship. The doubts in the back of your head make you believe that you’re not ready for this love, but he convinces you otherwise.
Rationally, you know that this is the best love you’ll ever have and that he’s the one. So you don’t have to worry about those voices in your head.
Just because you found someone you love, doesn’t mean that those voices will magically disappear. They’ll still be there because you’re still you.
You will doubt him, but he’ll reassure you that there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Because, deep down, you know that everything’s going to be alright. You know that things will fall into place sooner or later and that forever will be beautiful with him by your side.
You can just feel it, even when your anxiety flies through the roof.
Hold on to that realization and move through life slowly. Whatever does happen between you two will be alright and you will be strong enough to deal with it.
So now, you need to summon the strength and be with him. You love him and you know it. Don’t just push him away because you’re afraid of commitment.
Show yourself that the past doesn’t define you anymore. He’s going to love you nonetheless and he’s going to make you the happiest woman alive. So give him a chance to do that.
Give yourself a chance at love. Let yourself love and be loved.