You’re gone out of my life but I still remember the day you left me. You came into our apartment and packed your clothes.
Piece by piece, you put your things in a suitcase, and piece by piece, you took yourself away from me.
Some time has passed but I still think about you.
Maybe not as intense as before, but there hasn’t been a day that your name hasn’t popped into my mind.
I often ask myself how you’re doing. Are you finally happy?
Have you found someone who drives you crazy but at the same time, makes you feel calm?
Yes, I’ve been thinking about you. But how could I not?
I still believe that you are my soulmate – someone we only meet once in our life.
God gave me my shot – he sent me to you, but things didn’t work out the way I planned.
I don’t know why, as I still don’t know the reason. Maybe you were the right person at the wrong time.
Maybe you weren’t ready for something serious or maybe I pushed you too far and you simply couldn’t take it anymore.
Whatever it was, one thing is obvious – you’re gone out of my life but you still simply can’t seem to leave my heart.
I have tried to make it stop but these thoughts about you don’t seem to help.
I’ve tried forcing myself not to think about you, but the harder I try, the harder it becomes.
I have tried different ways to cope with my memories of you but none of them seem to work.
Over and over again, you keep entering my mind without a warning.
You just appear there, cause confusion, and then leave, and I still don’t know how to make it stop.
When it comes to my heart, to be honest, you never left that place.
I still have a room in there which belongs only to you. I don’t think that anyone else could ever move into it, as the word SOULMATE is written at its door.
And like I said, you only find your soulmate once in your life.
I’m not protesting about you taking over my heart. I’ll let you have a space there that’ll always be yours.
It doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, as I’ve learned how to deal with it.
When it comes to my life, well, you’re long gone and I can’t change that.
No calls, no messages, and no comfort from the one who used to mean the world to me.
I won’t lie, I still think about calling you when something great happens but then I remember that we’re not together anymore so I stop myself.
From time to time, I forget that you’re not coming to lunch, so without thinking, I set the table for two.
It makes me twitch when I realize what I’ve done but I try to forget about it as soon as possible.
Other than that, I keep moving through life without letting the thoughts about you control me.
Yes, you’re everywhere around me but I don’t let that trick me.
I don’t let it make me forget about myself, as I know that it’s time to put myself as my own priority.
Instead of berating myself that I can’t forget you, I decided to take a different path toward healing after the breakup, after losing the love of my life.
I decided that I won’t scold myself that I still see traces of you in every guy I talk to. I won’t chastise myself that I keep comparing others to you.
No, I won’t be mad at myself just because I keep seeing us in every happy couple I see on the street.
It wouldn’t be fair to make myself feel bad for the things that I can’t control.
You were a piece of me and you always will be. You were my soulmate and it’s hard to forget that.
I had big plans with you and it’s not easy to get over all of that. It’s not easy to forget and it takes time and patience.
So, I decided to give myself both of those. No one should expect me to be able to move on quickly from someone who was always next to me.
Find a stone on the street and carry it in your pocket for a year, then throw it away.
The next time you put your hand in that pocket, something will be missing. It will feel empty and it won’t feel normal.
Now, compare that to the presence of a human being who was always there for you before.
Someone who woke you up from bad dreams and helped you fall asleep in his arms, someone who lived through all of your negative and positive experiences, because he wanted you to know that he was your support.
Take that away, and you’ll see that it’s not easy to move on the way other people expect you to.
They have no idea what you’re going through and you shouldn’t let them tell you what you’re supposed to do.
So, instead of acting the way others expect me to, I decided to play by my own rules.
I decided to listen to my heart and my soul and to let them guide me forward.
Just because you’re gone from my life, I can’t expect that you’ll immediately be gone from my heart.
I know that it’ll take time and that it can’t happen overnight. So, instead of forcing myself to cross you out from my heart, I choose to take some time and let it help me get where I need to be.
One day, I’ll wake up and things will be the way they’re supposed to be. I’ll get over you and I’ll be ready to move on with my life.
I can’t promise you that you’ll completely leave my heart, as one part of it will always belong to you, as I said, but that’s okay.
You were my one real love and I can’t expect myself to erase you completely from my memory, my heart, or my soul.
You gave me a piece of you and I gave you a piece of me. That’ll never change.
So, yes – you’re gone out of my life and you can’t seem to leave my heart but that’s okay.
It’s the way things are supposed to be and I don’t want to go against that.