I’m sick and tired of giving a man second chances. No matter how much he begs me to come back to him, I’m done hoping that something will change. It’s impossible to have a future with a man who refuses to be fixed.
I knew deep down that it was over between us the first time he looked me in the eyes and told me he’d be there for me whenever I needed him. I knew he was lying to me and that was the last straw.
You want to know the truth? I desperately needed him to grow into the man he always strived to be, the man I saw was the right one for me.
But he rejected the idea of changing himself. He surrendered completely.
And in that process, I forgot that I wasn’t his savior. My duty wasn’t to save him from himself. I wasn’t and will never be his rehab center.
Ultimately, he decided that our relationship wasn’t worth his time or energy. He became destructive and narcissistic.
It took me some time to admit to myself that I’d never be genuinely happy with this man. I had to walk away from him, but my heart refused to accept that bitter truth for so long.
I had to convince myself that I wasn’t the problem and that his unwillingness to change had nothing to do with me. I was ready to dedicate my precious time and help him grow.
But some people just don’t want to be fixed. Some would rather avoid facing issues and pretend they don’t exist.
On the other hand, there are people worth saving – people who just need a word or two or a nod. But not everyone deserves to be saved and that’s a fact.
You can worry all you want and try your hardest to guide them to see things as they really are, but it won’t help. And that’s exactly what I did for so long.
Eventually, I realized that’s not what a romantic relationship should look like. We weren’t devoted to each other equally. He asked me to give him my love and trust, so I did.
He thought I’d save him from himself, but he wasn’t ready to accept my help. Truth be told, when everyone abandoned him, I was there to pick him up. I cared about the person he is and I only saw the good in him, even when his words and actions hurt me.
I always prioritized our relationship before anyone else and never got anything in return. And I knew I couldn’t count on him, not even for the smallest things. Our love was never important to him and he somehow always thought of me last.
Every night I asked myself: Is this what real love is supposed to feel like? Is this the man I’m going to marry one day and have kids with?
I felt empty and lonely, despite being in a relationship. My happiness turned into sorrow and bitterness, but I was so afraid to leave him. After a while, I came to my senses and realized that if I stayed any longer in this loveless relationship, his toxicity would completely destroy me.
He refused to be fixed, so I plucked up the courage and walked away. But still, I felt like I made a terrible mistake.
I felt selfish that I didn’t put more effort into our relationship. I thought that if I’d given him more time and space, that he’d have become the man I always thought he could be.
Well, until I learned that no one can change a person who doesn’t want want to change.
We all know that everyone faces their own struggles. You can’t just surrender the first time you hit an obstacle. You have to fight for your relationship, but you have to fight for yourself too. And I knew I couldn’t do it by his side.
When I saw that my love couldn’t make him change, I knew nothing could. So, I made the decision to break up with him. In the end, you shouldn’t allow anyone to change who you are, no matter how much you love that person.
Truthfully, love can make and break you. And everyone should remind themselves of that. You can’t lose yourself fixing a man who doesn’t see you for who you are. Don’t let them force you to question your own worth just because they’re not willing to face facts.
Shift the focus to yourself. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, then no one will. You are your own savior. God created you to be happy and joyful, not to let your weaknesses consume you.
Always fight for what you believe is right and don’t let others tell you how to live. Sure, we all need a bit of fixing, and we’ve all been through something terrifying, but guess what – we’ve all survived!
Don’t ever sell yourself short. You’re capable of achieving great things. If you see that you have to change some things, then embrace that and set new rules.
Always press forward. Rufuse to let the burden of the past weigh you down.
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