You Will Miss Me, But I Won’t Come Back

One day, you will wake up and you will feel that something is missing. One tiny place in your heart will feel empty and it will long for something.

That something is going to be me.

You will walk into the kitchen and start making two coffees – one for you and one for me.

But then, you will remember that I am long gone and you will sadly put the second mug away, pretending that you never even pulled it out of the cupboard.

You will hear ‘our song‘ and you will turn the volume up, running to the bedroom and calling me to dance.

But your bed will be empty. An unmade bed with pillows all over it and nothing else.

You will get ready to go for a walk and you will stick a note on your fridge, which will say, “I will be back soon. Call me if you want me to bring you anything xoxo.”

But then, you will realize that you live alone and that no one will read the note. I am far away from your apartment and far away from your reality.

The only place where the two of us can meet now is in your memories. You are already forgotten in mine.

Do you remember what I told you when I was leaving? Well, I bet you do, but I will still repeat it.

I said, “You will miss me, but I won’t come back.“

I remember how a sarcastic smile crept up on your face after I said those words.

You probably thought, “Yeah, sure! There is no way I will miss you but the chances of you coming back are high.”

I know that you thought something like that, I simply know. I know that at that moment, you killed all of the emotions that I had left for you.

Looking at me, so proud of yourself, you already saw me knocking on your door and begging you to let me back in.

But you have no idea that by that point, I had made a promise to myself that I would never go back to you and that you would be the one who missed me in this broken relationship.

You will miss me when you sit in a room full of people but none of them will want to lead a conversation about how the rain feels calming, because I am the only one who could do that.

Other people will look at you like you are crazy and they will find someplace else to sit and that’s when you will remember that you could talk to me for hours, without ever getting bored.

Others are not capable of that, as they don’t understand you, but the blame is on you as you had no idea how to keep the one who knew what you were saying.

You will miss me when you get a big promotion and you subconsciously dial my number to share the great news.

Then, you will remember that I won’t pick up as you don’t deserve that from me.

You stopped sharing happiness with me a long time ago and there is no point for me to do so now.

You will think of me and you will feel that something broke inside of you.

There are two things that will appear in you when you think of me – pain that I am gone and a tiny glimpse of hope that we could get back together.

But I can tell you right now that there is no way that that will happen.

You will miss my support during those times when you feel like falling apart.

Who is going to be your shoulder to cry on now? Who will comfort you when you feel that you can’t take it anymore?

Well, it won’t be me, as you pushed me away and I have no intention of coming back.

Our time is over but I knew that you couldn’t take that for long.

That’s why I told you that you would miss me but you laughed at me, and that’s why I told you that I wouldn’t come back and you rolled your eyes.

One day, when you wake up and the reality hits you hard, you will call out my name, half-asleep, but you will hear no answer.

Then, you will pick up your phone and dial my number, but again, the only thing you will hear will be silence.

You will send me a, “Can we please meet?” text, but you won’t get a response.

You will try to contact me through Facebook and Instagram, and still, you will get nothing.

Like I got nothing when I needed you around.

Everything was about you. We did things that you liked and ignored those that I wanted to do.

You never asked me what my favorite season was or why I was afraid of heights.

You never tried to help me overcome my sadness and you always found a way to run away when things got hard.

Everything was about you so don’t expect me to come back because it won’t happen.

You acted like I wasn’t good enough for you but the reality is that you were not good enough for me.

You never appreciated what you had next to you and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I walked away knowing that at some point, you would realize my worth.

You would want me to come back. Actually, you would need me to come back.

You might even beg me but it won’t make me change my mind. I could never take that road.

I could never forgive you for the times you made me feel worthless and I could never forgive you for your selfishness.

You and me could never work, as long as you don’t change, and we all know that people hardly ever change.

They remain the same creatures, no matter how wrong it is for them.

Now, I sense that the time has come. You miss me and I don’t want to come back.

Your expectations are useless. I will not appear at your doorstep, hoping that you will let me in.

Instead, I can only wave at you as I am passing through your street and that is all you will get from me.

I told you that you would miss me and that I wouldn’t come back. That is all you will get from me.