Just because we care for people, we let them walk all over us. This has happened too many times for any of us to count, yet it still happens over and over again.
That’s what happened with him as well, didn’t it?
You didn’t expect more than the bare minimum. You didn’t want to expect much, because your expectations meant you were always left hanging.
So when you met him, when you saw how he made you feel, you took a moment to stop your feral heart.
Once you calmed down, once you convinced yourself that expectations would only destroy the joy you felt, you convinced yourself that you’d be fine with whatever happened.
He was so dreamy. Even back then, when you thought that his humor was cheesy and you rolled your eyes at him.
When he made you fall in love with him with all those tacky remarks and all those subtle touches, you didn’t know that it’d be this heartbreaking.
You realized that things weren’t going well when you were permanently exhausted.
You were the one who did everything for him.
Texting him first every single time wasn’t the issue and it wasn’t even about the forgotten birthdays or all those times when you asked for affection but he couldn’t be bothered.
Soon after you met him, you thought that he was just playing hard to get. He would be there for you, ask you about your day, and then he was gone.
The moment you realized things were not going to get better was when you figured out that he didn’t care whether you needed him.
He’d tell you that he’d be there for you. He’d say that you could count on him to catch you when you fell.
What you didn’t know back then was that he only said that to sound like he cared.
He thought that it was the best way to show you he was devoted to you.
But when the time came to be true to his word, he let you down.
He didn’t care enough to stay by your side when things were falling apart around you.
His minimal effort showed every time he thought that a simple hug could fix anything.
Yes, there are issues that can be solved within the embrace of a loved one, but others need actual steps that’ll help you get through it.
He wasn’t there for any of those steps. He turned his back on you, pretending like things were all right.
You’d think that your partner, someone who says they care for you, would see every mood change you have and react before you even have time to fall into a depressive state.
You’d think that the person you love would be there for you.
But when you were sick, he sent you a text, asking if you needed anything, but he did nothing.
There were no follow-up questions, there wasn’t a move made to show you that he’d be there for you if you needed him.
He didn’t go home to you to take care of you.
So you dealt with it all on your own. The problem is that women usually don’t understand that the bare minimum isn’t something we should accept.
When we give so much into our relationship, we should be able to expect more from it.
We should be allowed to expect roses, chocolate, cuddles, affection, and attention from our partner. And even that is still minimal effort.
It’s expected of your partner to be there for you when you need him. That’s exactly what he signed up for when you two started a relationship together.
You shouldn’t even have to ask him to be there for you when you’re sick, as he should know that it’s his responsibility to make sure you’re doing fine.
When he’s not doing okay, you’re in a frenzy.
You want to help him any way you can, so you spend your own money on medicine, run to be there for him, and spend days by his side just to make him feel good.
But out of fear of losing him, you swallow down your pride and you’ve even stopped complaining.
You take what you can get. You don’t ask for more as you’re afraid that you’d once again be disappointed.
So you sit and you wait for him to realize his own mistakes. But he never does anything more than the bare minimum.
He doesn’t lift a finger for you unless it’s to answer your texts every once in a while.
Imagine if you get married and you have to take care of everything yourself.
It would be amazing to have someone help you out, but he’s not going to be the one to do that.
You need to open your eyes to all those things that you’ve let others get away with.
You forgave him for things that should have never been excused.
Just because you’ve always been a person who cared more for others, it doesn’t mean that you should accept their minimal effort.
You have to alter your standards.
You have to understand that a man should never stay in your life if he’s not ready to give you the same energy you give him.
He shouldn’t be able to walk around knowing that you’d wait for him.
You shouldn’t accept minimal effort just because you care for someone, simply because you should care for yourself more than anyone else in this world.
It’s you who should love yourself the most and if they’re not able to give you more than the minimum, you should love yourself enough to walk away.
You deserve the entire world and more. If he’s not going to give you that, then there’s someone in this world who will.
Don’t accept anyone’s minimal effort when you’re more than ready to give them everything you have.
You want to give him your entire being, while he’s only giving you breadcrumbs.
So either ask for more or walk away if he’s not willing to step up his game.
This rule is for everyone in your life, not just him.
You should apply this rule to all your friends and family.
If you’re giving them you’re all, they should be able to give you the same treatment in return.
And never accept anything less.