Not everyone in your life is meant to stay for a long time, but you can still miss them.
We meet people and we fall in love with them so easily. Falling in love with someone who values you is at first like a dream come true – it actually seems magical. You picture the days to come spent by each other’s side.
You imagined having him by your side through thick and thin. This man was the only one you ever wanted to marry.
Things were going absolutely swimmingly. He saw stars in your eyes whenever you looked at him and his touch made you think of forever.
So when you were leaving, when you were walking away from him, you felt so heartbroken – as if he was the one leaving you. You wanted to turn around and apologize, tell him that you didn’t mean it, but you knew that this was the best option for the both of you.
When you turned your back on him, flashbacks of your time together flew right in front of your eyes and you wondered if you were making the biggest mistake of your life.
You still remember your first kiss. You remember how electricity went through your entire body and how soft his lips felt on yours.
Those memories didn’t make it easier to stop missing him once your emotions were settled. You didn’t feel the adrenaline anymore. At that point, you were just missing him.
The good times overshadowed the bad. It made you forget why you needed to leave in the first place.
When you thought of him, you thought of all the times he brought you tea into bed, but you forgot the times he didn’t come home the entire night from God-knows-where.
You still think of the times he made you smile, forgetting those when you cried yourself to sleep because of something he said or did that day.
To make things worse, you couldn’t sleep until the morning sun made its appearance. The only reason you fell asleep is that you were exhausted from crying.
You forgot the times he’d degrade you, telling you that you were worthless. Instead, you reminisced on all the times he told you he loved you.
You forgot all about the fact that his friends would say nasty things about you and he didn’t do anything about it. Those memories were buried underneath mental snapshots of his smile.
Would you believe me if I told you that this was normal?
You can miss someone and still be happy they’re not in your life anymore. You can miss him! No one said that you need to forget everything you went through.
But you have to remember why you broke up. You can’t just hold on to the good memories. It’ll only lead to you blaming yourself for leaving.
You left because that man never appreciated you. He never took a second glance at you when you were uncomfortable. He’d make you do things you never wanted to do!
You need to remember the nights when he’d yell at you for going out with your friends and dressing in a way that made you feel gorgeous. You forgot all about this.
What about the time he didn’t reply to you for days because he was mad at something minuscule you did? You didn’t know where he was or if he was even alive.
You never knew his plans, he’d just go AWOL for days and make you believe that it was all your fault.
So when you think of this breakup, think of what you’ve done for yourself!
You’ve escaped a narcissistic maniac who never cared enough about you to try harder or change.
And every time he did “change,” even the tiniest bit, it was to keep you in this toxic relationship – not because he understood your reasons. Not because you were worth the change.
The fact that you’re able to admit to yourself that you miss him is amazing! You’re able to say that he was a good person, even if you know that he was worth leaving.
You’re such a kind person. You know that not everyone is like this and you understand that people have their ups and downs in life. Because of that, you’ll probably be able to forgive him for the things that he’s done.
It’s okay to miss him, as long as you’re aware of the fact that you’re better off without him. You don’t need him anymore!
So many women in this world look up to you for leaving a man like him. There are so many in this world who still can’t make themselves leave their abusive partners.
Women all around the world are proud of you for taking that first step to recovery. After this step, there’s so much more to work to do on your own journey to healing.
But you chose crying over him. You chose to cry your nights away because you knew that it was much healthier than staying in a relationship with this man.
That’s why you’re our hero.
Please know that.
You can miss him. You can miss him all you want, but please don’t go back to him. Missing him is completely acceptable, but going back to him is out of the question.
You’ll make things worse for yourself and you know that.
So please, keep being strong. Keep being the woman showing all of us that it’s possible to walk away from someone and rise from those ashes.
Keep walking away from him. Don’t look back!
You can miss him all you want, but you and I both know that you’ll be happier this way. The hurt and the pain will go away and you’ll be happy again.