The man you love doesn’t have to be the one who’s right for you. It doesn’t matter how much you want it to be a lie; it’s the truth.
You fell in love with him slowly.
After being hurt so many times, it only made sense to guard your heart until the day you decided that he was worth the risk.
This period is so important to you because you don’t just fall head over heels for someone.
You have to measure your steps, you have to make sure that your heart won’t break in the first few months.
When you’ve gone through a lot of heartbreaks, it just makes sense to take things slow.
That’s why everything was so special to you. The process of falling in love was so beautiful that your skin still tingles at the thought of it.
Everything was so extremely important to you. You romanticized everything, every little detail.
From the first time he told you a big secret to the first time your lips touched his.
That right there is why this whole relationship was so important to you.
So when did it all start falling apart?
You saw the spark leave his eyes when he looked at you. You heard him yell at you and you caught him lying to you more often than not.
Even back then, it didn’t seem right that the man you loved so dearly was the one inflicting so much pain on you.
“Can we work on this?”
That’s what he had asked you when you told him for the millionth time that his behavior was unacceptable.
Time went by and you tried to make sense of it all. You wanted to stay by his side but you also knew that love wasn’t always an easy ride.
People around you said that relationships need to be fought for, that loving someone wasn’t all roses and butterflies.
Love is nothing like you had wanted it to be when you were a little girl.
Of course, it’s not. This is the real world of adults who only want to make it to the next day with as little suffering as possible.
So why does love hurt so much, especially after you’ve been hurt one too many times?
Especially after taking things so slowly so that you had enough time to assess everything?
Why did it still hurt this much?
The one thing that you never understood before now was why a person will stay beside someone who makes them miserable.
The most obvious answer is: love.
It’s hard to believe that someone could stay beside a person who isn’t right for them. It’s like they’re self-sabotaging their own life.
Those people are miserable! Aren’t they?
They cry themselves to sleep when their significant other doesn’t bother showing up.
They go crazy with worry when their partner doesn’t answer his phone for hours.
Before you met him, you thought of these people as lunatics. Who would willingly stay in a relationship like this?
Then you became a lunatic yourself.
When you waited for his texts for hours, just to call him and realize that his phone was turned off, and you went to sleep crying.
When he stormed out of the door every single time you tried to talk to him about your issues, the door slammed and he left your sobbing figure alone.
You tortured yourself with daydreams of a perfect life with him.
You secretly pleaded that he would change back into the charming man he was when you first met him.
Back then, things were simply different! That’s the man you fell in love with and you saw how capable he was of loving you.
He was more than capable of being everything you ever wanted from a man and that’s exactly what kept you by his side for such a long time.
The turning point was when you realized that loving someone doesn’t always mean that they’re right for you.
Your love is pure and so strong that it makes your knees give out from under you whenever you cry over him.
Nonetheless, you know that he can never be the same person he was when you fell in love with him.
So you left. What else were you supposed to do?
“Can we fix this? Can we work on this? I can’t lose you!”
His pleas met deaf ears as by this point, you were immune to this conversation and it just solidified your decision.
You were not backing down now.
Watching his face fall when he realized that it was the actual end of your relationship broke the last part of your heart but you knew better than to dwell on it!
You knew that if you hugged him right then and there to make him feel better it would just make you change your mind and you didn’t want to go through that again.
So you waved him goodbye on your way out of his life.
I know that it hurts. It probably hurts more than any of your past breakups.
You love this man. You still love him even though you know that he’s not good for you, he’s not right for you.
Even if things seemed to escalate from one moment to the next and even when you were everything but a priority to him, you still loved him.
Today, there is a little spark inside you telling you that you still hold on to a piece of what you had in that relationship.
There is still a weird sensation at the thought of him inside your chest and you know that it’s love.
But it doesn’t matter how much you love him, when he is not right for you.
You need a man who will fight right beside you and not against you during the relationship.
You need someone who will put effort into everything he does and makes you his number one priority.
There is someone out there who will know how to treat you right.
Even if you’re not ready for a new relationship, just know that it’s better to stay away from him than to stay beside him.
Staying beside him hurt you more than knowing that you did something to save yourself.
You walked away because you knew that you were more important to yourself. He didn’t take care of you, so you had to take care of yourself.
That’s when he lost you. That’s when you realized that this man wasn’t right for you.
Because of that, know that you made the right decision. You did the right thing.
It doesn’t matter how much you love a man; if he doesn’t give you the same amount of love and appreciation back, then he simply isn’t worthy of you.