Women have always been raised to be more empathetic, more nurturing, and more caring.
So what happens when we meet someone who needs help?
From the sidelines, I have been witness to men using manipulation tactics to get sympathy from women.
My friend told me once that she couldn’t leave her toxic boyfriend, because he cried every time she tried to break up with him.
She would say how awfully aggressive he got whenever he didn’t get his way or how he would selfishly take whatever she had to give.
Of course, he never put the same effort into the relationship.
She would excuse his behavior by saying that he simply didn’t know better, he didn’t know how to love someone, because he had never loved anyone before he met her.
All of these sentences are nice and sweet, but why is it our responsibility to teach men how to love someone properly?
Why is it our responsibility to show men how they should treat a woman?We make so many excuses for them.
For what? So that the moment they realize that they want someone else, they can leave us?
It’s not your job to fix him.
You empathize with his pain, of course you do.
You know what it feels like to be alone with all the hurt and the pain without having anyone around to help you.
It’s not easy to leave him to fend for himself when all you want is to reassure him that everything is going to be all right.
Let me tell you right away that there is nothing wrong with being there for him. We start a loving relationship by being supportive and caring toward our partner.
He can talk to you, he can ask you for advice, and he can even expect you to forgive his moodiness on a very bad day.
That’s what relationships are for. You are each other’s loving support system!
However, we need to draw the line at abusive, manipulative, and toxic behavior.
No one should have to endure those things just because they love another person. You have to realize that you are your own biggest priority!
There are people out there who are actually educated to help these men fix their issues. You are not obligated to do that for them!
Creating our own boundaries has become a sin.
Saying, “No,” to an angry, young man is like pulling a trigger inside his mind that leads to a full-blown tantrum.
Before we are even ready to have kids, we are stuck raising these fully-grown men just because they never learned basic things.
It’s expected of us to clean and cook for them, while also being their lover, psychologist, and mother.
Men have their own issues, we are well aware of that, and no one is denying that.
However, we have women out here fixing men left, right, and center, while we suffer in silence. We tend to our own wounds in silence.
Because of that, I’m here to tell you that men deserve to be held accountable for their own actions! We’re not making excuses for them anymore.
An abusive man is an abusive man, even if his childhood was hard. The same way, a manipulator is still a manipulator.
He makes you cry because he doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved, not because he doesn’t know how to be nice to people.
Those are actual factors that we need to take into consideration.
We need to stop making excuses for them.
You want a partner, not a project.
The man you’re with should be as independent and well put together as you are. You can’t teach him how to live his life!
You have to share common interests with your partner. There should be mutual respect, love and understanding.
That’s what you deserve to have in a relationship and not someone who needs to learn how to appreciate a person who does so much for him.
Having a codependent partner will only slow down your own progress in life.
If he was badly raised, it’s not your responsibility to teach him basic things about life.
A partner is someone you can depend on. You can communicate with them easily and in a way that improves both of your lives.
You and your partner should work toward a better future that will ensure your long-term happiness.
There’s no doubt that each one of us deserves exactly that!
We have spent so long trying to teach these boys how to become men when that was never our responsibility in the first place!
You and your partner should spoil each other.
There are many people out there who enjoy cooking for their partner, so don’t let this stop you from doing just that.
The difference is when you’re obligated to do all these tasks just because he doesn’t know how to take care of himself.
Instead, focus on someone who knows what they want to achieve in life.
Focus on a life with someone who will put just as much effort into the relationship as you are.
Don’t just wait around while he figures himself out. You don’t need to do that when you’re with a grown man.
You can both be needy in a relationship because it’s normal to need and ask for love and attention. There’s nothing wrong with asking for these things.
As long as you are respectful of your partner’s boundaries and you don’t expect them to carry all of your burdens, you two are more than fine.
But always remember that you are not a rehabilitation center for badly raised men.
They should have figured themselves out before they even started getting into romantic relationships.
They have work to do on themselves before they can love someone properly and that’s all up to them.
You’re not responsible for how mature or immature your man is.
You need a partner and not a project.
It’s as simple as that, because love shouldn’t be about fixing people but about two grown people walking the same path toward a loving relationship.
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