After struggling to make you see my worth, I’m saying goodbye to a guy who never deserved me. I’m saying goodbye forever to a guy who already taught me how to be alone.
Even though we were officially in a relationship, I rarely had the feeling that we were actually together. I was allowed to call you mine but you never felt like someone who belonged to me.
Distant and never there when I needed you, you never showed me how it feels to be able to count on the person you love. I was walking through life alone and even when I needed you badly, I knew that there was no way that I would find you by my side.
You taught me that in this dark world, the only person I can really trust is myself.
You were my boyfriend but based on the experience, it seems that a boyfriend shouldn’t be there for his loved one. It looks as if he must only care about his own happiness and ignore the one who loves him the most.
You taught me to be alone even though my relationship status on Facebook said that I was taken. Well, my heart did belong to you but it looks like yours was never mine.
You were around only when you needed me and that fact started to hurt me badly. When I needed your arms to hold me, I couldn’t find you but when you were in need of comfort, you came running to me, making me ignore everything and everyone else around me.
You were selfish to the bone but you never could admit that. When I asked you why you’d been ignoring me, you said that I was asking for too much.
Apparently, it’s controlling when your girlfriend wants you to spend some time with her. It’s controlling when she begs you to take her out after you haven’t seen her for a month.
So, with every move you made, I was learning how to be alone. While still in a relationship, I was teaching myself how to be single.
That’s how lonely I felt with you. I kept looking for help from people you said were bad for me.
You told me that my friends were a bad influence but then again, they picked up the phone whenever I called them. They put me as a priority, even though all that time, I neglected them because of you.
I realized that you never listened to me while I had my heart open, sitting in front of you like a beggar, waiting for a second of attention. My feelings were never a priority and neither were the words that came out of my mouth.
You ignored those desperate moments when I was screaming for help, you called me too sensitive and carried on with your business. Your passive presence in my life made me angry, as you were there physically but you never did anything to be there emotionally.
So, day by day, I learned how to be on my own.
You taught me that I shouldn’t plan my life around you and even if I did, you made sure to ruin it all for me. While I was being happy about the future, you showed me that you had no intention of staying in it.
That’s when it became obvious that your feelings weren’t real and that you were only playing with my heart.
That’s also when I started ignoring you. I pretended as if you didn’t exist and treated you the same way you’d been treating me for a very long time.
I no longer cared to show you love and I did things the way I wanted them to be done. It no longer bothered me whether you’d be coming home because you taught me to sleep alone in a bed that was made for two.
I guess that by that point, I was already done with you but I needed something to cross you off forever. I needed something to click in order to realize that I was only torturing myself by staying with you.
Since you taught me to be alone, I decided to prove to you that it’s always better to be single than to waste your time with someone who’s clearly not good enough for you.
In my case, you were never the right one for me and I decided that I must say goodbye before it was too late. I knew I must move away from you or I’d end up ruining myself.
So I stopped caring about you and I said goodbye forever.
There was no way you would see me coming back into your life even if you begged me to do so. Our game was over.
I can now tell you that you broke my heart slowly but surely. You tore it to pieces and at first, I didn’t realize what you were doing but once I could finally see clearly, it hit me how bad of a man you were.
From the very beginning of our relationship, I always used to be the one who put in the effort. I kept us together that whole time.
I was the glue that held everything in place. But people are weird creatures and they sometimes do their best to ruin those who do the most for them and I now realize that you were exactly like that.
No matter how much love I gave you, it could never be enough. You would always treat me like I meant nothing to you and you ignored my presence.
Together but alone. That’s how I always felt with you.
Well, thank goodness that the day had come where I finally felt brave enough to end my sufferings. I finally felt the courage to cross you off and leave your life forever.
You taught this girl to be alone, so she’s saying goodbye to you and she has no intention of coming back. Don’t count on her anymore because you never deserved her in the first place.
She finally understands that.
Leave a comment