When every relationship around you is falling apart, you start to wonder why relationships fail. Sometimes, those same romantic relationships seem like the epitome of perfection.
This leads you to wonder about your own relationship. How long will it last?
Will you be able to stop your relationship from falling apart? Is there a way to prevent a failed relationship?
Or maybe you want to figure out whether there’s something in your relationship you can work on now so that it doesn’t end in a breakup?
You’ll be happy to know that there are common reasons for breakups that can be spotted in time. When you see those reasons, you might want to consider whether you and your partner have these issues.
Some of them can be fixed early enough so that you can have a fulfilling and happy relationship. Other issues can only be fixed by finding a new partner.
Even though you may love your partner, you also have to realize that not everyone is meant to stay in your life.
Once you figure out which of these issues you’re facing with your partner, be smart and figure out how much effort you’re willing to put into this relationship.
Also, you can’t work on this all on your own. You and your partner have to be in sync and work this through together.
If you’re the only one willing to figure this out, then it’s not worth the fight.
17 reasons why relationships fail
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you stop ignoring the mistakes your partner makes. A lasting relationship needs to be rationally and emotionally good for you.
Your significant other may be someone who you need in your life right now to teach you a lesson. However, he could also be someone who’s there to stay by your side for the rest of your life.
Sometimes relationships fail for no reason other than your own incompatibility. So to avoid these things in your current relationship, let’s figure out the top reasons why relationships fail.
1. You’re not accepting of each other
If you’re looking for someone who’ll share the same wants and needs as you do and someone who likes all the same things you do, you’re really not going to find that.
You’re your own individual. He’s a human being who has his own thoughts and deal-breakers.
You can either work around those things or you can realize that there’s someone out there better for each of you.
I know that this sounds like an ultimatum, but it’s not healthy for either of you to change your personality just to accommodate the other.
You’re enough just the way you are and your partner should be able to accept you for who you are. Your partner also has his own interests in life and you need to respect that.
We can’t just expect them to love the same things we do. No two people in this world are the same so instead of wanting to change who he is as a person, talk about changing behavior.
For example, don’t tell him to stop playing video games, tell him to spend more time with you. There’s a huge difference.
2. Trust issues
One of you, or maybe even both of you, might have been in a very toxic relationship that gave you trust issues. Because of that lack of trust, now you’re left questioning your partner about everything they do.
Trust issues can cause a lot of distress in a relationship. You go through each other’s phone when the other one isn’t watching.
You question where he’s been and with whom every single time it takes him just a little bit longer to reply to you. Or even if he gives a female co-worker a ride home, you tend to throw a tantrum.
Trust is the most important aspect of every relationship because that’s what you’re building the rest of the relationship on. You can’t have a happy relationship unless you’re able to trust each other.
You have to be able to trust that your partner will stay loyal to you, that he won’t tell anyone your secrets, and that he’ll always take your side in an argument.
If you don’t have those things, you can’t have a successful relationship.
3. Different expectations
They say that when two people don’t have the same path in mind, they can’t walk together.
If you want a family one day, but your partner doesn’t, then how can you expect the relationship to work out?
Compatibility doesn’t always play a huge role in relationships, but this is something very important. A lack of compatibility can and will be detrimental.
If you want emotional intimacy and a healthy relationship, while he only wants to play games with you, then it’s not going to work out.
Relationships like that are doomed to fail. You have to understand that you have to have similar goals in mind in order to create a healthy environment.
4. Different priorities
When two people have different priorities in their life, it’s hard to have a happy relationship.
Why a relationship fails isn’t always obvious but when you have completely different priorities to your partner, it can be quite hard to make things work.
This is especially if for you, those priorities mean your education and your own success, while he wants a family and a comfortable life that doesn’t require a lot of work.
You can love someone and still have different priorities but of course you can’t be with someone whom you put at the top of your priority list while you’re nowhere near the top of theirs.
If he puts his friends and video games at the top while you have to beg for a moment of his affection, your priorities are completely different and a relationship like yours will fail one way or another.
Either you’ll break up or one of you will forever be miserable.
5. Co-dependency
When you’re in a co-dependent relationship, you depend on your partner for love and validation. You’re not able to give yourself those same things, so you’re left to ask him for them.
This type of relationship is completely toxic. At some point, one of you will put so much effort into validating the other that you’ll forget to take care of yourself.
A person who depends completely on their partner emotionally, mentally, or physically is someone who only takes up all your energy.
It doesn’t matter how sweet and caring they seem, they are still like a leech and this type of relationship is doomed to fail.
Relationships like these don’t work because you need two functional human beings who are able to validate themselves in order to form a strong bond.
When one of you is totally dependent on the other, there’s no balance.
6. Not spending time together
You love spending time with him, while he doesn’t seem so happy about it. Yes, you’re able to put everything aside and help him out with whatever he needs, but you’d also like to spend quality time with him.
One of the reasons why a relationship fails is definitely when you don’t spend enough time together. You’re in a relationship with this person so logically, you want to be with them more often.
When you always have to wait for him to make time for you, you feel like you’re not interesting enough to him.
Another thing is when you both have so much work that you forget to spend time together. This can especially happen in long-term relationships.
You forget to go out by yourself and you have so much work to do that even if you do live together, you’re more like roommates than romantic partners.
You don’t want to give up on him, but you also don’t want to see your loved only once every blue moon.
7. Poor communication
Communication is extremely important in every type of relationship and because of that, poor communication can be harmful.
When you don’t know how to express your emotions and you don’t know how to listen properly, you ruin what you have with your partner.
This is one of the most common reasons why relationships fail. It’s not always about the little things, even though it may seem like it.
Good communication takes a lot of hard work and effort. You have to be able to understand your emotions in order to communicate properly.
You have to be able to listen to your partner without interrupting them. They have to know that you’re trying your hardest as well.
We’re not born great communicators, but we have to learn how to be one. Poor communication can lead to a lot of misunderstandings, lies, and the most painful broken heart you’ve ever experienced.
You may want to talk to your partner about the things that bother you but you don’t know how to phrase it right. You always sound accusatory when you confront him about anything and that only makes him mad.
When he’s mad, all he does is yell without ever considering that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
We all know that women go through so much trauma that every single one of us cries or flinches when someone raises their voice at us.
Proper communication is necessary to avoid these problems. You can’t get what you want when neither of you knows how to correctly formulate your sentences.
8. Narcissism
Everyone has encountered a narcissist at least once. They’re charming at first, but then their manipulation takes a turn for the worst and you’re left broken and bruised.
One of the reasons why relationships fail is because one of you is a narcissist. If your partner is a narcissist, you’ll be able to figure it out right away.
There are initial signs that you can catch on to if you pay close attention to them.
Narcissists make a point to degrade their victim in order to make themselves look better. So when you’re in a relationship with one, you constantly hate yourself and your self-esteem is non-existent.
A narcissist can’t love anyone but himself. At the beginning of the relationship, you’ll think that he’s sweet and absolutely beautiful.
You’ll think that he’s the best thing that happened to you, so when you’re most vulnerable, he’ll take advantage of you.
A relationship like this will fail sooner or later. Thankfully, most people find their way to a happier life after leaving a narcissist.
If you’re strong enough to handle his abuse, you’re strong enough to walk away. A man like this truly doesn’t deserve any woman, so don’t stay, no matter how much you may want to.
9. Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse can be in many different forms. A lack of emotional support is a type of emotional abuse itself.
When he doesn’t support your dreams or doesn’t acknowledge the way you feel, you’re left to wonder whether there’s something wrong with you.
Relationships fail because one person thinks that they have the right to tell the other whether their emotions are or aren’t valid.
When you tell him that you’re upset about something, he says that you can’t be upset. When you say you’re sad, he says that you don’t have a reason for that.
He does all of this to confuse you and make you believe that you’re crazy. Emotional abuse is awful.
He does everything he can just to make you cry and then gets angry at you for showing your emotions. This man doesn’t know how much he actually hurts you and some of these scars will last forever.
A relationship like that can’t last long. Either you’ll break completely or you’ll realize that you’re better off without someone like that.
10. Financial issues
The issue isn’t how much money you spend but how much money your partner thinks you spend. You could spend the same amount of money each month but your partner may still have a reason to doubt you.
Money plays a huge role in long-term relationships. In a new relationship, you don’t have that much insight into how much money your partner makes, but when things become more serious, you’re more aware of his finances.
When you start to share the money you both earn, the perception you two have of money is extremely important. What one thinks is absolutely too much money to spend on something may be a very small amount to the other.
A relationship may fail because often, one partner thinks that something isn’t worth what the other paid for it, while the other thinks that it’s a steal. It really depends on the perspective.
11. Withdrawal during arguments
No matter what people may think or say, the truth is that arguments can be extremely healthy for your relationship.
Sometimes, you can’t really run away from them. You have to confront each other and work things through.
Because of anxiety and many other reasons, people tend to withdraw from arguments very quickly. Not because they don’t want the issue solved, but because it causes them a lot of unease.
An argument really isn’t the most pleasant experience in the world. However, you can’t withdraw from them all the time and then be surprised when your relationship fails.
Arguments are there to help you figure things out, so when you withdraw from them, you’re actually giving up on your relationship. It’s also very toxic behavior if we’re being honest about it.
You can walk away from an argument but it doesn’t change the fact that your partner is still upset. That leads to you both being extremely tense and it doesn’t leave much space for love.
12. Unrealistic standards
Social media has taken over the world and with it, it has also set standards for relationships. Even if you want to believe that it’s not true, just look around you.
Everyone posts pictures of their ‘absolutely beautiful’ relationship, which makes everyone believe that they don’t have any issues to conquer.
You’re left thinking that other people truly don’t have any problems, so you believe that your relationship is lacking for not being that perfect.
Also, social media sets unrealistic beauty standards. If you or your partner expects the other to be absolutely perfect like those models you see on Instagram, then it’s really one of the warning signs of a failed relationship.
Why relationships don’t work isn’t because of people who argue a lot, but because of those who set unrealistic standards for their partner.
Once they realize that their partner is human and can’t meet their unrealistic standards, the fights can become more intense.
13. Possessiveness
Even though you’re in a relationship, you don’t own each other. Possessiveness can be one of the reasons why relationships fail.
You’re keeping your partner locked down and from their point of view, you don’t trust them. You don’t understand your partner’s needs, you just think that you’re doing this out of love.
When a partner says that they’re doing something out of love in order to get someone to be more compliant, it’s nothing more than manipulation. That has nothing to do with love.
Yes, you two are together, but everyone should be able to make their own decisions and be able to express their needs.
You can’t control your partner and expect them to be happy. They have the right to talk to whomever they want and wear whatever they want.
You can’t control them. The only decision you have in their life is whether you’ll stay or not.
14. Secrecy
Another one of the reasons why relationships break down is secrecy. Some say that keeping things from each other is just as bad as lying and I would agree with that.
When your partner continues to keep things hidden from you, you wonder about your entire relationship. He may say that he’s just keeping you safe or because he knows that you’ll overreact.
For example, your husband kept having private meetings with his female co-worker without your knowledge because he thought that you’d get the wrong idea.
He says that it was just work-related, but why would you trust him if he kept this secret from you? Relationships often fail due to situations like these.
15. You got married too early
You might be confused by the term ‘too early’ because up until now, you thought that he was the love of your life. This man seemed like everything you ever wanted in your life.
However, you could have waited a while longer. You shouldn’t have gotten married before you had gotten to know each other properly.
This means that you can’t get to know each other in just a few months (or a few years sometimes). You can’t even get to know each other if you haven’t lived together for a while first.
There are so many things that he does that make you crazy. You didn’t think that he was anything like the man he’s presenting himself as today.
This is a very common mistake people make and it’s often why relationships fail.
16. You started a family before you were ready
Starting a family, having kids, that’s a huge responsibility and it takes a lot of communication and planning before actually going for it.
So when you start a family before you’re both ready for it, it’s going to be detrimental to your relationship.
If you two haven’t figured out how you’ll have time for the two of you and all your attention is on the child, it’s going to turn into a problem very soon.
When one of you isn’t ready for kids but does it for their partner, it’ll always be a burden for them more than a blessing.
Why relationships fail in these instances is obvious. You can’t fix a broken relationship by having children, it can only draw you even more apart.
17. Cheating
When one of you cheats, the relationship is over.
There are many couples who believe that things can be fixed even after one of them cheated. They try to make things better or get things back to the way they were before, but it’ll never be the same.
If you’ve been cheated on, you’ll always wonder whether you’re good enough and this is one of the most common reasons why relationships fail.
Once you cheat, you’re always branded a cheater, and that’s what you’ll always be to your partner. For that exact reason, it’ll turn into a very toxic relationship that’ll leave you both broken and bruised.
It’s best to let the relationship dissolve itself before it leaves a permanent mark on your heart.
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