“Why is my ex ignoring me? Is he doing it because he wants me to reach out to him or has he crossed me out of his life?”
How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you’ve been ignored by your ex?
That one person who used to be your whole world is now avoiding any type of communication with you. He’s acting as if you don’t exist and his behavior is breaking your heart.
In those moments, you don’t even think about moving on or giving him the same treatment. Instead, you only want to know the reason why he’s acting the way he is.
Why is your ex ignoring you when back in the day, the two of you were inseparable? You’re aware that the post-break-up period is hard and he probably needs some time to process everything that just happened.
Maybe you had a good break-up and you agreed to keep in touch but right now, the only thing you’re getting from him is radio silence. And that’s definitely not what you expected to happen.
Why is my ex ignoring me? Some of the possible reasons
There are many common reasons why an ex-boyfriend may decide to ignore his ex-girlfriend and each one of them hurts the same if you agreed to stay friends once the relationship was over.
Still, you want to know the real reason why your ex decided to play against the rules you set. You want to know whether your ex hates you or if there’s some other reason for his behavior.
So, buckle up and get ready to find out the real truth that’s hiding behind his actions.
1. He’s confused about his feelings
Even if you mutually agreed on ending your relationship, a break-up is never an easy thing to go through. There’s always a ton of unresolved feelings that can easily cause confusion.
It could be that your ex feels that way right now. He’s not really sure what he should be doing and he’s trying to stop the fight between his heart and his mind.
One part of him probably wants to reach out to you and make sure that you stay on good terms. You were together for a long time and you were his best friend in a way.
He could always count on you and he’s truly grateful for every second he spent with you.
But then again, the moment heartbreak happens, it feels as if all of this changes, which is why another part of him doesn’t feel the need to stay in touch with you.
The break-up hurt him and even though he knew that would happen, he still doesn’t know how to get off this emotional roller coaster. He’s left alone with his thoughts and he’s trying to figure out the best way to move on.
He’s confused about his feelings and that’s why he’s been ignoring you. Until he figures out what he’s supposed to do, you most likely won’t hear from him.
2. He’s moved on
“Why is my ex ignoring me? Has he already moved on after me?”
Even though you don’t want to hear it, your ex may be ignoring you simply because he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you now. He left you in his past and he has no intention of reintroducing you into his present.
He probably believes that it would make the matter ten times more complicated if you kept in touch. Maybe you’ll try to win him over or you’ll end up together once again, which could well be a mistake.
He’s likely the kind of a guy who thinks that there’s no need to fix something that’s already broken. Once the relationship is over, he wants to make sure that there’s nothing holding him back.
And even if you think that a few text messages and an innocent phone call won’t do you any harm, he still wants a clean break.
You shouldn’t resent him for this, as your relationship is over and he decided to move on after it. You can’t blame him for that.
3. He’s already dating someone new
Your ex bf may be ignoring you because he already has someone else in his life. He didn’t want to let the break-up make his love life suffer so he decided to find comfort in a new relationship.
The truth is that he could be doing it just so he can get over you but still, he doesn’t want to disrespect his new girlfriend by keeping in touch with you.
Even if she’s his rebound girl, he still wants to dedicate his time to her. That way, he’ll also be able to have some time for himself and distract himself from you.
4. He heard a rumor
As soon as others found out about your break-up, the rumors started to spread. There could be one about you talking badly about him or something more serious.
“She cheated on him.”
“They say that she had trust issues and one time, she mistook his sister for his ex and went crazy.”
People will start talking about your break-up and some of those words will definitely get back to him. And if you didn’t end on great terms, he’ll believe in some of them.
One day, perhaps you stumble on him in town and you have a chat. Then the next time you see him, he turns his head away so he doesn’t have to look at your face.
Something has changed but you have no idea what. Obviously, your ex is ignoring you but you can’t figure out the reason.
Honestly, if it all happened out of the blue, it could be that he heard some rumors about you and that’s why he changed his mind about keeping in touch with you and he started playing the ignoring game.
Now, he’s sure to make no contact with you and he’ll cut you off completely.
5. He’s too shy to keep the communication going
Before you started dating, he used to be a shy guy. From the very beginning, he needed a bit more time to relax and get comfortable around you.
As you got to know each other better, he started to change his behavior. He gained more confidence and wasn’t so stiff anymore.
But the break-up meant he went back to his old self. Once again, he’s a shy guy, the same old version of himself he used to be at the very start of your relationship.
Every bit of self-esteem he built fell apart and he’s back to square one. He again has no idea how to act around you, especially now that the relationship is over.
He feels completely lost, especially if he still has some feelings for you.
It’s easy for him to find a way to deal with you in the virtual world. He simply doesn’t text or call and he stays away from reaching out to you through social media.
But whenever he stumbles upon you, he faces a huge challenge on what he should be doing.
Face-to-face meetings are especially hard for a shy guy who happened to bump into his ex. By that point, he has no idea how to behave.
Should he say, “Hi,” or should he ignore you completely? That’s the dilemma he’ll face every time he runs into you.
But since you’re looking for an answer to the question, “Why is my ex ignoring me?” it’s obvious that he decided to take the silent approach. He’s not sure what to do so he just decides to stay quiet.
6. He’s haunted by bad memories from the past
If your relationship ended on bad terms with a lot of unresolved issues on both sides, then your ex may decide to ignore you for a while.
In this case, it’ll take some time before he figures out how he wants to treat you in the future. Should you remain friends or is it better for both of you if you cut off contact entirely?
There were probably many things that went wrong.
Maybe you both said some hurtful words that cut deep and the wounds are still too fresh to deal with or perhaps he did something inappropriate and it’s only now that he realizes the consequences.
No matter what, he’s definitely haunted by the bad memories from the past and he doesn’t know what to do. That’s why he decided to ignore you, as he still doesn’t know the right way to cope with the break-up.
For a while, he’ll try to pretend that you’re just a stranger, until he learns how to deal with all of the past mistakes you both made.
7. He’s doing it to cause you pain
I remember how back in high school, I had a friend who went through a terrible heartbreak. She and her boyfriend at the time went from best friends to strangers.
He stopped talking to her and acted like he didn’t know her, while she spent days asking me the same questions over and over again.
“Why is my ex ignoring me? Is he doing it on purpose because he knows how much I love him and does he want to hurt me?”
It turned out that he was actually giving her the silent treatment because he wanted to get revenge.
He felt angry that she had left him and the only way he could deal with the break-up was by making her feel the same amount of pain as he felt.
So, your ex may decide to take the same path.
Due to different reasons, he may decide to ignore you just to hurt you, and his lack of words is his way of punishing you. He knows it’ll work on you and you’ll feel devastated that he’s not talking to you.
Even though this is a childish way of dealing with a break-up, many guys tend to behave like this.
They don’t have the guts to act maturely and accept what happened so they opt for the silent treatment or ghosting because they know it works.
I know that it bothers you that you’re being ignored by the one person who meant the world to you but that’s definitely how he wants you to feel.
8. He wants you to reach out to him first
When you think about it, it could be that your ex isn’t ignoring you. Maybe he’s applying the no contact rule because he wants you to reach out to him first.
As a result, he may try to play some mind games with you because he wants you to be the one who chases after him.
He knows that you won’t remain indifferent to the fact that he’s ignoring you. He knows that you’ll have to do something to make that change.
Well, that’s exactly what he wants from you.
He doesn’t want to be the first one to call or text and he doesn’t want to beg you for attention. Instead, he wants you to do all those things first.
He wants you to apologize or even ask him to come back. Your ex wants you to run after him and he’s trying to achieve that by completely ignoring you.
Once you get hurt by the fact that he doesn’t want to greet you on the street, he knows you’ll have to react and do something about it. And that’s the moment he’s patiently waiting for.
9. He still has feelings for you
No one really thinks that their ex will ignore them just because he still has feelings for them. Those two things sound like complete opposites.
Believe it or not, though, there’s a strong possibility for this to happen.
Your ex is going through a roller coaster of emotions and he’s trying to figure out the best step to take. He knows that he still loves you but he doesn’t want to do anything he’ll regret in the near future.
He also doesn’t want to reach out to you before he’s sure that you feel the same way about him. So, instead of rushing things, he’d rather take some time and heal a bit more before finally giving you a call.
The truth is that he’s desperate to hear your voice but he doesn’t know whether it’s the right thing to do.
What if you reject him? What if you tell him he has nothing to look forward to with you again?
His heart would break once again and that’s something he can’t let happen. So, it’s better to be on the safe side and ignore you for a while until he figures out his next move.
What should you do if your ex ignores you?
Instead of asking yourself, “Why is my ex ignoring me?” you need to try to figure out what you should do if he ignores you. Rather than paying attention to his actions, you should know how to take care of your own well-being when that happens.
It’s important to know how to start a journey of healing and moving on after the break-up. That’s the only way you’ll be able to get over him and stop spending days or longer wondering about him.
The last thing you want is to end up obsessed with every move your ex makes. So, here’s how to stop that from happening and how to remain high value when he ignores you.
1. Stop contacting him
Once you realize that your ex is ignoring you, you first must stop reaching out to him. He doesn’t need you to call him, text him, or try to meet up with him and the more you keep doing that, the more power you’re giving him.
Also, once you see that he’s not responding to your calls and messages, you’ll feel hurt. The guy who used to share everything with you has now decided that you don’t deserve a word from him.
This makes your heart ache and it stops you from getting closure and being able to move on, so the best thing to do is stop reaching out to him completely.
No more innocent texts to see how he’s doing. No more calls in the middle of the day to check on him.
You should stop all contact with him because that’s the only way you’ll be able to move on. Once you replace the, “Why is my ex ignoring me?” question with, “What should I do for myself?” you’ll be all set on the road to success.
2. Accept the experience you’ve gone through
At some point, you and your ex went your separate ways. You wanted different things from life and the break-up was inevitable.
Instead of trying to fix what’s already broken, you should try to keep in mind that things were meant to happen this way. You were supposed to go through this experience and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
There’s no point dwelling on the past, trying to figure out why he’s ignoring you when you’re no longer together. You’ve hit a dead end and there’s nothing to look out for.
Accept what happened, learn from it and allow yourself to move on. Those are the only right things you can do.
3. Focus on yourself
It’s a cliché but I need to remind you that you should never let yourself not be your focus. Stop prioritizing others when you already have a person to take care of – yourself.
Instead of Googling, “Why is my ex ignoring me?” you should type, “How to make yourself a priority.” Once the relationship is over, you should first take a deep breath and then make goals that you’ll set for yourself.
Don’t think about all those what-ifs and if-onlys. You gave your best, it didn’t work, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
Now, the time has come when you’ll finally be first on your priority list. You shouldn’t care about your ex who’s doing his best to ignore you when you have other things to worry about, such as your own well-being.
Stop the overthinking and go do something you love. Focus your attention on something that makes you happy.
Once you distract yourself from your ex, you’ll stop asking yourself why he’s ignoring you. At some point, you’ll no longer care and that will be the best moment of your life.
4. Let go of the memories and start the healing process
Once your relationship is over and your ex starts ignoring you, you shouldn’t waste your time wondering why he’s doing that. Instead, you should learn how to let go and move on.
The more effort you put into trying to figure out the reason why he’s been giving you the silent treatment, the harder it’ll be to leave him in the past.
That’s why your best choice will be to accept reality and slowly let go of all of the memories you’re holding on to.
Trust me, if you’re meant to be together, he’ll find his way back to you but if your relationship isn’t destined to last, there’s nothing you can do to change that.
There’s no point in delaying the inevitable and stopping yourself from healing, as that’s the worst thing you can do.
Once you decide that you have nothing to hold on to and that you want to move forward, you’ll feel like a whole new person.
You deserve the best from the world because you’re worthy of love so please, don’t be your own biggest enemy.
Don’t stop yourself from getting all of the great things in life. There’s no point in spending your days and nights trying to figure out why your ex is ignoring you when there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Everything happens for a reason and there sure must be a good reason behind everything you’ve gone through.
So, you can either decide to stay in the past and watch life pass you by or you can choose to let go and heal after all of the pain you’ve experienced.
The decision is always yours, as you’re the creator of your own destiny. So, you need to pick what’s best for you!