“My boyfriend is boring!” These words don’t come out of your mouth for no reason.
The last time you asked him to go out for a date night, he just wanted to stay at home and chill.
Whenever you bring up going to the movies, he just tells you that the film can probably be found online so why would he leave the house.
You are bored out of your mind because of this man. There are so many places to see and so many things to do.
Why is he like this? At the beginning of your relationship, you thought of him as one of the most interesting people out there.
You had so much to learn about him and from him that you listened so intently.
You even found yourself in situations where you needed him just to feel excitement.
However, when you are in a long-term relationship, there is only so much you can learn about that person.
You want him to do things with you, to go places with you. This man was supposed to be the love of your life, not just another boring boyfriend.
Signs you have a boring boyfriend
Before we consider the possible reasons why you perceive him as boring and what you can do about it, you have to make sure you’re reading the signs correctly.
What if he’s not boring but you have fallen out of love with him?
Let’s start off by listing the signs that it’s really your boyfriend who’s the problem here and that he is the boring one, so you know how to proceed.
Even if you have doubts that you have a boring boyfriend, these signs might confirm or contradict that.
1. Your conversations are very bland
You don’t have anything to talk about anymore. It’s either just the same conversations every single day or you indulge in silence.
You talk about your day, how your day at work went, or the weather.
Conversations like these can be had between strangers. These are not the conversations you hope to have with your long-term boyfriend.
A clear sign of a boring boyfriend is that even when you try to start an interesting conversation going, he still doesn’t even try to reciprocate your efforts.
His answers are bland and boring. More often than not, he responds with one word or a simple nod of the head.
That is not how two people who are in love should talk.
2. His habits aren’t that cute anymore
Once upon a time, you would melt at the way he would always double-text you or use multiple emojis in each text message but now it just seems so weird and unnecessary.
Or maybe your boyfriend was always a bit shyer and more mysterious.
You fell for that and you thought that it was adorable but now it’s just a bother because you can’t seem to get a word out of him.
Most of the habits that you saw as endearing at the beginning of your relationship don’t seem so cute anymore.
Now you’re bothered by them and you roll your eyes more often than you can count.
3. You are always tired
A clear sign of a boring boyfriend is when you’re constantly tired for some reason.
Work doesn’t seem to be such an effort and you do get enough sleep, but you’re still so tired.
You dread going home to your boyfriend and you always exhale those deep sighs when you think about it. You try to gather energy to spend time with him.
It’s exhausting to always have someone around you whom you can’t seem to communicate with.
When you get home, you know you’re going to find him in the same position as you did the past few weeks. Nothing is changing.
Your exhaustion and your tiredness could be very good indications that your boyfriend really is boring.
4. You don’t miss him when he’s gone
At the beginning of the relationship, you couldn’t spend a day without him because you would miss him so much.
Now it doesn’t bother you. When you two are apart, it kind of feels like a vacation to you and you don’t even feel tired on those days.
If he’s gone for a week or more, you might even find yourself dreading the day he’ll come back.
You love him, but time apart just seems to do wonders for you. You might even look forward to spending time apart at this point.
5. You fake a smile more often than not
His jokes simply aren’t funny to you anymore. Usually, you fake a smile and force a laugh.
That’s why you play along and you act like you’re the happiest person when you’re with him.
You can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with his behavior or his demeanor, you just know that he’s a boring boyfriend.
You act like you’re the happiest person when you’re with him, but it just feels off.
6. You keep an eye out for someone new
You would never cheat on him. He doesn’t deserve that!
You are just looking for options. It’s not even like you’re doing it on purpose, you just see a guy and you think of the possibility of being with him.
Of course, you would never act on those urges, but it is thrilling to think about.
You indulge in daydreams of those men and wish your boyfriend was more like them.
He isn’t purposefully boring, but you wish he would work on changing that.
7. You always make excuses as to why you want to wait a bit longer to take the next step
The next step in your relationship doesn’t just have to be marriage.
He might want to move in together, but you’re dreading it and you’re constantly making excuses.
Something just doesn’t feel right about that, but you can’t put your finger on it.
You want to believe that you two are meant for each other, but just the thought of moving in together is exhausting.
Marriage was something you were actually looking forward to. Now it just seems like a very bad idea.
You do love him, that’s undeniable. However, a boring boyfriend isn’t something you wanted.
“My boyfriend is boring! Why is he like that?”
Now that you have seen the signs that your boyfriend is actually boring and that you’re not just falling out of love with him, you want to know the possible reasons why.
These reasons might come as a huge surprise to you, but they could be true.
You need to make sure you actually understand his reason.
If he was a bubbly person whom you couldn’t stay away from at the beginning of the relationship, something must be going on.
Don’t just write him off as a boring boyfriend before you understand what’s going on with him.
1. He has depression
Depression isn’t something obvious. It slowly creeps up on someone.
You know him as a genuinely happy person and everyone describes him as full of life. So why has he become so distant and silent?
He doesn’t talk to you anymore, he just sleeps, and even when he’s awake, he won’t get out of bed.
These are signs that he might be depressed, which you want to be very careful with.
Depression is a very scary mental illness that affects every aspect of someone’s life.
This is why you might think of him as boring. He doesn’t have the energy to do things anymore and you don’t know how to ask him about it.
2. He’s stressed about something
Stress can be an awful thing when you don’t know the right way to cope with it. Is your partner just stressed?
Do you know about any problems he has been facing recently? Has he been stressed about work or do his parents put a lot of pressure on him?
If you know about anything stress-inducing in his life, make sure to consider those circumstances before you declare him a boring boyfriend.
That stress will be taking a toll on him and he doesn’t know how to balance things out.
He is so focused on getting rid of the things that are causing him stress that he doesn’t have the time or energy to focus on your relationship.
That stress isn’t something to joke about.
You know when you’re stressed that you aren’t capable to focus your attention on anything other than the task at hand.
3. He got too comfortable
Another too common but also very surprising reason why someone becomes a boring boyfriend is that they become too comfortable in the relationship.
In the beginning, he would always come up with different things to impress you, because he knew he had to put in the effort.
However, months or maybe even years down the road, he started taking you for granted. He thinks that you love him and you’ll stay no matter what.
You will know that this is the case when he tries to convince you that you’re delusional for saying that you never do fun things together anymore.
4. He’s thinking about breaking up with you
You are not jumping to conclusions here. This is just one of the possible reasons why your boyfriend has become boring.
He doesn’t want to put more effort into the relationship and it shows. You have more bad days than good ones and you feel like he’s slipping away.
Whenever you tell him that you want to go out on a date or do something interesting, he never cares enough.
He simply sits back and waits for you to break up with him because he doesn’t know how to do it himself.
Of course, you won’t know whether this is the actual reason for the fact that he has become a boring boyfriend unless you ask him.
5. He’s just boring by nature
Perhaps you didn’t notice it right at the beginning of the relationship when you had a lot to learn about each other, but your boyfriend might be one of the naturally boring people.
Have you ever actually seen him move a muscle to do something new? Has he always described his hobbies as chilling and gaming?
He just likes things that make him feel safe and secure.
He has his own routine and he would feel extremely uncomfortable if anything about it changed.
To him, his ways are completely normal and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
Many of these boring men don’t have any types of interests outside of work.
If they do, it probably involves their male friends more than it involves their significant other.
Boring people don’t even try to give something new a chance. They just live in their own little bubble.
A boring person is anything but healthy to be around, especially if you’re someone who enjoys exciting things.
You might not even be able to understand it, as to someone who is in love with life, a boring person just seems like an inconvenience.
“My boyfriend is boring! Is there a way I can change that?”
I would love to tell you that there is one solution that fits everyone, but it can be a bit more complicated than that.
This isn’t just up to you. You and your boyfriend have to make the effort together.
Don’t look at this as a sort of project you can work on to get rid of a boring boyfriend and instead create someone interesting and exciting.
He has to be able to realize that he needs to work on himself if he wants to have a healthy relationship with you.
He has to realize that his boring lifestyle isn’t for you and that there are amazing things out there to explore.
Will he be able to change that about himself? Is there a way?
There are certain things you can try in order to help him on his journey to a more exciting life.
1. Make sure you’re not the problem
You have lived so long believing that your boyfriend is the issue and that it’s the only possible reason for your boring relationship.
However, let’s do a little checkup on your own life. What does it look like outside of your relationship?
If you rely on your partner to make your life exciting for the most part, then the problem could be you.
Do you go out with your friends often enough? Do you have your own hobbies that have nothing to do with your partner?
If you don’t find joy outside of your relationship then that might be the entirety of your problem.
You need to find that joy with things that don’t involve your partner.
Do things by yourself or with your friends and then your relationship won’t seem like an issue anymore.
2. Confront him about it
Even if you’ve already tried talking to him about this problem, you probably didn’t use the words, “You’re boring.”
However, even though it can be very hard to say sometimes, you still need to be honest with him.
You need to sit him down and make sure you are very direct when you talk to him.
Tell him that you’re bored in your relationship. Tell him that you have realized that he really doesn’t do much.
Be honest and say that if he doesn’t do something to change his behavior soon, it will be detrimental to your relationship.
If he still chooses to ignore you, you know what to do.
3. Do something new and exciting together
Once you have established that the problem really isn’t you and you have talked things through, you can move on to the next step.
Is there something you wanted to try with your boyfriend but you never have?
It doesn’t have to be something crazy like skydiving; you can go bowling together!
It might seem lame now, but taking baby steps is the best thing you can do at the moment.
You should talk about the things that you’re both willing to try and make yourself a little bucketlist.
Plan when and how you’re going to make all these dreams a reality.
You can go take a painting course together or you can try to learn a language. Anything to make things a little bit more interesting.
4. Switch up your routine
Having a routine is a good thing because it keeps you on track.
However, sometimes it only creates a sense of safety that isn’t helpful with a boring boyfriend.
What you really need to do is switch up your routine!
Do you always drink your coffee together in the morning? Well, how about you take one or two days a week when you go out for your caffeine fix?
Go to a nearby cafe, as a change of scenery might do you both good.
Does your routine also mean that you are the one who always makes dinner? Include him and let him help you out!
Not only will this break your routine, you will also being doing things together.
5. Show interest in each other’s passions
Do you even know what his passion is? Have you ever shown genuine interest in it?
You might like it if you actually give it a try! That’s why you should ask him to teach you how to play that game he loves so dearly.
Tell him to explain to you how something works or tell him to show you what his work is actually about.
However, let him also see the things that you’re interested in. If you like to read books, give him a recommendation.
You can both become part of each other’s world and you can have something you can do together.
You can even make a little list of things that you like and that the other should try.
Don’t just shut yourself down and label him as a boring boyfriend. You can both learn something new.
6. Encourage him to get out of his comfort zone
Boring people exist because comfort zones exist. How is he going to love his life and get excited about things if he doesn’t even try?
That’s exactly why you need to realize what his comfort zone is.
Has he never left the country? Is he scared of flights?
Take him on a trip! Go somewhere together where neither of you has ever been and show him that the world isn’t as scary as he might believe.
Don’t let him stay in his little bubble.
Is his comfort zone just certain foods you know are bad in the long run? Well, then challenge him to eat something new and more nutritious.
Prepare food together that he has never tried before. This way, he may stop being a boring boyfriend.
7. Think back to what attracted you to him
Why did you fall in love with him in the first place?
Was it the fact that you two partied more back then and that you were going out every single weekend?
Was it the fact that you would go hiking together?
Did you two do something special together that simply made him seem like the perfect partner for you? If yes, then try to get that back.
I am not telling you to go out and party like you did in your early twenties, I am just saying you should go out more.
Organize get-togethers with your friends. Show him that those things can still be interesting.
Did you two fall in love because you went to a lot of concerts together? Then buy those tickets and go see that band!
You have so many opportunities and just because you might have got to a certain age, it doesn’t mean you have to stop enjoying these things.
Remember why you fell in love with him and try to recreate that feeling again. I believe you can do so quite easily.