Ah, those early stages of falling in loave. Everything seems amazing and then all of a sudden, you can’t help but ask yourself that scary question, “Why is he ignoring me?”
I am sure that we have all been there; the situation where constant messaging turns into ghosting has become completely normal.
It makes no difference anymore whether the two of you met on some dating site or through a mutual friend; the chances are that through your ‘relationship experiences’, you will at least once stumble upon a guy who will ignore you.
In my personal experience, it went like this…
We met one night in town and exchanged numbers and social media profiles.
The next day, he sent me a text message and we started messaging on a daily basis. Back and forth, the conversation kept developing.
I am pretty sure that it lasted for a few months. Each time I heard a beep on my phone, I felt my heart skip a beat.
I felt amazing – my self-esteem was growing, I felt over the moon and I may say that I was starting to fall in love.
Everything seemed the way it was supposed to be.
But what happens when a great guy like this, someone you really like, becomes a guy who ignores you?
It’s understandable why I couldn’t get this, “Why he is ignoring me?” question out of my head.
How can you engage in a text message exchange with a guy only to realize (out of the blue) that he won’t text you back?
Have you done something wrong?
The first time this happened to me, I blamed myself. I thought that I was being too pushy and boring and he simply had to stop texting me.
However, when I shared my experience with my best friends, I realized that all of them had undergone the same problem at least once in their lives.
I am now aware that men pull away because of different reasons but it’s usually never because something is wrong with you.
So, here I am, trying to make you understand what happens in the mind of a guy who stopped texting you for no particular reason.
Let’s see what the common reasons for losing interest are!
Possible answers to the question, “Why is he ignoring me?”
When a guy ignores you, you simply need to know why.
You want to know the real reason, and whether it’s you who did something wrong in the first place or not, you need to know so you don’t make the same mistake again.
That’s why I will give you a list of reasons why even guys who seem great tend to not text you back.
1. Guys hate texting
A guy you like may stop texting you because of the most obvious reason – he hates texting and would love to spend more one-on-one time with you.
A guy doesn’t usually like to be attached to his phone, replying to text messages 24/7.
That’s not his idea of a healthy relationship. Instead, he would rather take you out, go for a walk, or do anything else that involves the two of you actually spending time together.
He is okay with using messaging as a way to arrange your dates but to use it as the only way to have a conversation with you seems like the wrong thing to do in his eyes.
He would probably prefer to call you than spend the whole day texting you back.
The last time he spent hours a day messaging girls, he was in high school. He feels like he is more mature now.
That’s why he chooses not to text you, which can make you think that he is ignoring you.
2. He is out with his friends
You may think now that I am protecting him, but I am being serious about this one. Guys rarely text when they are out with their friends.
He is enjoying his time with the boys while you are sitting at home, overthinking why he isn’t replying to you all of a sudden.
To be honest, he probably forgot to tell you that he was going out and that he likely wouldn’t have time to text you.
P.S. This rule applies only if he doesn’t text you back for several hours but if it turns into days without a message, it can’t be seen as the reason why he is ignoring you.
3. He is busy with work
Even though it takes a second to reply to someone’s text, it also means that the message thread will continue.
He replies to you and then you reply to him. His turn, your turn, and on and on.
If he is too busy with work, he knows that if he replies, you will continue the conversation; that’s how messaging works.
It also means that he will lose his focus and that he may not finish the work that he planned to do.
So, instead of replying to you with only one message, he chooses to begin a conversation once he is done with work.
He will text you back but he just needs to make sure that he is first done with work that day.
As long as he texts you after his shift is over, you are golden.
A bigger problem is when he completely ignores you and when you receive no contact from him at all; that’s when you need to be worried.
4. He thinks you will be more into him
As crazy as it sounds, this genuinely can be a reason why he is ignoring you.
There is nothing wrong with you but maybe someone gave him the advice that he needs to use the silent treatment on you if he wants you to fall for him even harder.
That’s why he decided not to text you back because he thinks that you will start chasing him.
I don’t even need to say that this isn’t the way you lure someone into your love life and it’s also not a way to build a healthy relationship.
If a guy ignores you, thinking that you will like him more, then he is too immature for you. When this happens, it should be you who is losing interest.
5. He forgets to reply
I know it seems impossible but it is completely normal.
Men are forgetful and you shouldn’t be surprised if he tells you that he forgot to reply to your text message.
He probably saw it and wanted to reply but something distracted him and he totally forgot about you.
Maybe he stumbled across a good game on a sports channel and the idea to text you back evaporated from his head.
Later on, he will remember that you haven’t texted him the whole day and when he opens the conversation, he will actually see that he is the one who ‘has been ignoring‘.
So, if you notice that your great guy has a tendency to forget, you should expect that at some point, he will probably forget to reply to your text messages as well.
If this is the case then he’s definitely not ignoring you. Think about buying him some pills that could help him with his memory, as that may be a solution.
6. Ghosting is an easier way of cutting off contact
If we want to be honest, we can sincerely say that some men are just afraid of cutting off contact. And maybe your guy is one of them.
It is always easier to ghost someone and completely disappear than to face reality and tell them honestly what is wrong.
So, your guy may be ignoring you because he doesn’t know how to tell you that he doesn’t like you for some reason.
Instead, he decides not to text you back, hoping that you will also stop messaging.
This makes the breakup process easier for him as he has no need to explain his actions.
If you don’t continue keeping the conversation going after he ghosts you, he has nothing to worry about.
You won’t be asking him any questions and he won’t have to justify himself. It’s easier, right?
Now you can see that he may be ignoring you because it is easier for him and he doesn’t care whether you will be left asking yourself questions and looking for closure.
7. He feels like there is no chemistry
The well-known issue of no chemistry, a hidden reason why many relationships end!
Chemistry can be seen as a double-edged sword. When it’s there, you feel amazing, like you have a conquered the world.
But when it’s missing, it can hurt like hell, especially when you are the one who loves more.
Even though you may ask yourself how he could know through the simple act of texting whether there was any chemistry, I must say that he can.
If he sends you a text message and you don’t reply with something he anticipated you would, he starts wondering whether there is any chemistry between the two of you at all.
Or maybe he cracks a joke that he finds hilarious but you reply with, “I don’t get it.”
You haven’t clicked, so he will start ignoring you. He believes that you aren’t meant to be and he won’t bother replying to your text messages.
He can’t see himself with you and he thinks that there is no point in continuing the conversation.
8. He sees you as too desperate and needy
Maybe he is ignoring you because he thinks that you are too desperate.
This can happen if you want him to text you all the time or if you instantly reply to his messages.
Men pull away when this happens because they don’t want to feel like they are caged, always having to stay in touch with you.
On the other hand, they also don’t want you to reply to their texts the second you receive them, as in their eyes, this makes you look desperate.
He will imagine that you are holding your phone in your hand all the time just so you can immediately reply when he texts you.
It makes you look too available.
We all know that men love to chase and you instantly replying is far from the chase they want to have.
If he knows that he has all of your time and attention, he won’t bother making an effort.
After that, you will clearly be able to see that he is ignoring you and that he has no intention of texting you back.
9. He is only playing with you
Let’s face it; if he is ignoring you, it can mean that he is a player and he doesn’t want anything serious. He might even be texting several girls at once.
He may text you when he feels bored with other girls, or he will start texting other girls when he gets bored with you.
Whatever it is, he will probably never be ready to solely text you and lead a conversation (or have a relationship) with only one girl.
He was nice at the beginning, texting you back and inviting you on dates, but now that he has what he wanted, he will move on and look for the next pawn in his love life.
He doesn’t take things seriously and that’s why he feels that he can do whatever he wants.
Unfortunately, you were just one out of many girls he has been talking to and now it seems like the time for him to start ignoring you.
10. He is afraid of commitment or a serious relationship
You won’t be surprised to hear that men pull away when they start falling in love and when they feel that a relationship is getting serious.
He gets scared of what the future holds and he starts ignoring you.
Texting you makes him think about his future plans and that triggers his fear.
Maybe he thinks that he is too young for a serious relationship or he is afraid of commitment and everything it brings.
It feels too much and he wants to escape it. And it’s always easier to ignore you than to admit to you that he is afraid.
The early stage of the relationship was nice but now that things are starting to get serious, he all of a sudden feels an urge to run away.
11. He needs space
Maybe he is ignoring you because he feels like he is having trouble breathing, as your relationship is making him feel like he has no space of his own.
This scares guys and they instinctively tend to react by using the tactic of ignoring.
Maybe you are spending a lot of time together and on top of that, you expect him to text you all the time.
It is just too much and he can’t take it. He needs his own space where no one will bother him, just him and his thoughts.
That’s why he may start ignoring you because he doesn’t know how else he can spend time on his own.
He will probably always act like this if he is used to having time to himself. You can either accept it or walk away from him.
12. You aren’t what he expected you to be
This may hurt but maybe he is ignoring you because you don’t look or behave the way he expected.
Maybe you Photoshopped your profile image or had someone to help you with texting when you guys started talking at first.
Eventually, when you went out to meet each other in person, he realized that you were not the same as you presented yourself online.
He decided that you were not his type and that is okay.
I know that all of us want to leave the best impression when we meet someone online.
That’s why we tend to make ourselves look a bit more fun and exciting than we really are.
I personally had a similar experience. One of my best friends was helping me impress a guy I met online.
It all went great until he invited me to dinner ALL ALONE and I sat there the whole night, struggling to utter even a half-decent sentence.
He never called me and from that time on, I never asked anyone for help with texting someone online.
I realized that it’s better to hate me for who I am than to love me for what I am not.
If your guy is ignoring you because you presented yourself in a different manner than the reality, then you should stop doing that.
Someone will come along who will love you for everything you are.
Until then, don’t pretend to be something you aren’t. Otherwise, eventually, your great guy will find out and things won’t be that great anymore.
What to do when he is ignoring you?
It’s one thing to recognize the reason why he is ignoring you but you should also know what to do in a situation like this.
It can be hard to decide which strategy you should choose next.
Should you go all-in with texting or should you give him the silent treatment?
It can feel like a game of plucking the petals from a flower, but instead of saying, “He loves me, he loves me not,” you are saying, “To text him, to text him not.”
In order to save you from overthinking, I have a couple of solutions for you. Firstly, you should stop bombarding him with text messages.
If you are doing that now, stop immediately!
This is the worst thing you can do. It will be too much for him to deal with all of the messages and instead of making him want to reply, you will make him ignore you even harder.
Constantly sending him text messages, thinking that he will eventually reply, makes no sense.
In his head, you look like a desperate, needy girl who doesn’t know how to live without him.
Instead of replying, he will run away. It’s that simple.
Secondly, you can hit him up with a casual, “How are you doing today?” text, which doesn’t make you look desperate.
If he hasn’t been very active with replying to your messages, then this will serve him as a reminder.
Maybe he really forgot to text you, so when he sees your name on the screen, he will remember to do so.
However, when you send him an innocent reminder like this, you should pay attention to whether he replies at all.
If you see that two or three days have passed and there is no sign of a text message, you should look for closure and wrap things up.
The chances are that there is a bigger reason behind him not replying and it’s not simply that he was busy or out with his friends.
Maybe he feels like the two of you haven’t clicked or he is afraid of commitment.
Whatever it is, you shouldn’t make yourself look desperate by trying to get his attention.
If he wanted to text you by now, he would have. There is no arguing about that.
Thirdly, if you have him on your social media profiles, you should never make a post about him that makes him feel publicly attacked.
Don’t post quotes that say things like, ‘You ignoring me was the best thing that ever happened to me’ or anything similar.
Instead, rather invite him out so you can talk about the issue. It is much easier to solve any problem when you are looking at each other, face-to-face.
Also, you will be able to read his body language, which is helpful when you want to know what is happening in his head.
If the two of you aren’t official and you’ve been just casually chatting, then there is no need for you to sit and wait for his reply.
Instead, you should start talking to other guys and looking for the love of your life someplace else.
If he is ignoring you then you shouldn’t look for ways to change that. He should decide on his own that he wants to give you attention.
Focus on your future and don’t be stuck in the present, as him texting you doesn’t depend on you.
It’s his choice – he will either continue ignoring you or he will realize that he needs you.
Either way, you shouldn’t be the one pushing him into either of those decisions.