Lately, I keep asking myself, why does my boyfriend hate me?
What did I do to make him act the way he does?
When you find yourself in a relationship, you put a lot of hope into the hands of your partner.
You love this person, you trust them fully and they become the one who can either make you feel best about yourself or shatter your self-esteem into pieces.
And sometimes, your partner can keep doing the little things that feel hateful.
If you’re in the same boat, then I know how you’re feeling.
I know you’re asking yourself if it’s all in your head or your healthy relationship is turning into a big mistake – if you’d be able to work things out or if your boyfriend is giving you warning signs that it’s time for you to walk away.
If you feel that your boyfriend hates you, there are two possible reasons behind it.
Maybe he’s been more stressed than usual and we all know that we as human beings tend to say some things we don’t mean in situations like that.
If this is the case, our words shouldn’t be taken with a pinch of salt because we use them to release the tension that’s been building up inside us.
Still, the words we tend to say then end up being hurtful and that’s why you could get the feeling that your boyfriend hates you.
Another reason why you could feel like your boyfriend hates you is that he’s actually an abuser, in which case his hateful behavior should be seen as emotional abuse.
A narcissistic or abusive partner tends to hide his real face behind the mask of a good, respectful boyfriend.
But no matter how hard he tries, his true colors always come to the surface and he shows who he actually is.
If you feel that your boyfriend’s hateful behavior is turning into abuse, it’s time for you to break up and leave him for good.
But if you’re unsure if his behavior is the result of being moody and you could still make the relationship work, then keep on reading.
I’ll try to help you understand the real reason why your boyfriend is acting the way he is and hopefully, you’ll get an answer to the question of whether your boyfriend hates you or if there’s something behind it.
Signs your boyfriend might display if he hates you!
If your boyfriend is giving you a hard time and his behavior is looking something like this, then you should consider breaking up with him.
If he acts the following ways, seriously consider making him your ex, as he’s doing harm to your well-being and mental health.
1. Every time you have a fight, he threatens to break up with you
Relationships are full of fights as that’s the thing that makes them progress and evolve.
You fight with your partner and then you make up and find the solution that works for both of you.
By doing this, you’re learning to grow as individuals and also strengthening your relationship.
But when something weird starts happening with your relationship, your fights look a little different.
Instead of finding the solution, your boyfriend might end up threatening that he’ll break up with you.
The first time this happens, it’ll probably come as a shock and you might even take him seriously as he’s never said something like that before.
But if he keeps repeating it every time you start fighting, you should know that something’s wrong.
It’s not a clear sign that your boyfriend hates you, but it’s definitely something that should raise alarm bells.
Something has changed and it seems that he’s not feeling the same way about you.
No matter how bad the fight was, the two of you should always find a way to get over it and make up after it.
He could’ve said something nice to you, he could’ve sent you a text message saying that he loves you, but instead he chose to threaten to break up with you.
When nice things end up being replaced by hateful things, there’s something wrong with the relationship.
Maybe your significant other feels differently about you, and you’re still unaware of that.
2. He keeps comparing you with other women
Your boyfriend is supposed to be your best friend and he should always tell you how amazing of a person you are.
And maybe at the beginning of the relationship, he used to be like that.
He always made sure to tell you that you’re incredible that there’s not a single thing that you should change.
But last night, he told you that he’d like you to look more like your coworker.
He mentioned that she always looks her best and that he no longer sees you as the woman you used to be at the very beginning of the relationship.
This might be a sign that your boyfriend hates you and that his feelings have changed.
He never told you anything bad about you and now it seems that he has a list of things he’d like to change about you.
This is an instant red flag and you should reconsider your options.
Do you want to stay in a loveless relationship or is it time to walk away?
3. He stops showing you that he cares about you
When was the last time your boyfriend showed you that he cares about you? When was the last time he made you feel special?
If your answer is “a long time ago,” then you should reconsider your options.
If things start to change out of the blue, then you should see that as a sign that your boyfriend hates you or at least doesn’t feel the same way about you.
Something is different and if he’s not willing to openly tell you what, you’ll spend your life wondering what’s going on and why he keeps hating on you.
But it’s plainly obvious that he doesn’t care about you anymore and that he puts you in the last place on his priority list.
No matter how strong you are, this kind of behavior will always hurt!
4. He does things on his own even though you always used to do them together
Another sign that your boyfriend might hate you is if he keeps avoiding everything you used to do together all the time.
Maybe you always spent your Fridays together and now he keeps dodging you and has replaced you with his friends.
Or you always went to the gym together but now he has found someone else to go with.
The things you used to do together, he’s now doing with other people and you just can’t get it out of your head.
It feels like he’s avoiding you at all times and it makes no sense.
The point is that he’s probably trying to slowly separate your lives and do things on his own.
And even though you still don’t know the reason, it seems that he no longer loves you the way he used to.
5. He makes fun of you in front of other people
This one hurts like hell!
If your boyfriend keeps making fun of you in front of other people, then it’s really obvious that he hates you or at least has some resentful feelings toward you.
He has become impossible to tolerate and you know that you’ll get hurt every time he says something.
Whenever the two of you are in the company of other people, he keeps putting you down and making fun of you.
And let me tell you something – no matter how much you love him, you should never put up with this.
When someone treats you with disrespect, the only thing you should let them see is your back while you walk away from them.
Don’t ever let anyone make fun of you in front of other people and especially if that person is your boyfriend.
There’s something deeply wrong and unacceptable with that.
6. He’s stopped apologizing
When your boyfriend hurts you and never says that he’s sorry, you should be sure that his feelings have changed and that he probably hates you.
If he cared about you or your relationship, he would never let you feel hurt.
If he knows that he said something hurtful, he would make sure to apologize and show you that he didn’t actually mean it.
But when his feelings change and when love becomes replaced with hatred, any intention of apologizing disappears.
He might be doing this because he wants the two of you to break up without him being the one who has to cut ties.
He would rather leave the dirty work to you and walk out of the relationship freely than to think of how to leave you.
And if you don’t like the idea of being destined to spend the rest of your life wondering, “Why does my boyfriend hate me?” it’s better to walk away right now!
No one who disrespects you is worth your time and energy!
7. He gives you the silent treatment
Does it feel like he disappears every time you fight?
No phone calls, no text messages, and definitely no seeing each other in person. He gives you the silent treatment and he puts it on the max.
If this happens more often than not, you should look at it as a clear sign that your boyfriend hates you and that his feelings for you have started to evaporate into thin air.
When he doesn’t bother to speak with you, even though he knows that he made you feel hurt, that guy is no good for you.
He’ll become even more distant with time and at one point he’ll completely disappear from your life without letting you know why.
8. He doesn’t make an effort anymore
If you keep wondering if your boyfriend hates you as he stopped making effort, then your thoughts are justified.
When you notice a huge difference in behavior, there must be something that causes it.
In the beginning, everything seemed picture-perfect, like he’d move mountains for you.
Now it feels like you’re watching a completely different movie.
Things aren’t even close to what they were before and it’s normal that this bothers you.
It seems like your boyfriend has taken a hateful road and there’s a lot of resentment between the two of you.
The main question is: How long are you willing to take this?
9. He excludes you from his future plans
The two of you used to have huge plans for the future. And now, things have started to change.
You keep hearing your boyfriend saying “I want this” and “I hope to have this” and it hurts your heart that he completely left you out of everything you’ve planned together.
You know that he wasn’t this way before and that’s why you keep asking yourself why he hates you.
Lately, he started to leave you out of his plans and his life and you have no idea what’s going on.
But let him have it his way. If he doesn’t want you in his life, why should you fight to stay?
10. He blames you for everything
No matter what happens, it seems that you’re the one to blame all the time.
From silly arguments to serious fights, you always get the medal for being wrong.
We’re all wrong from time to time, but if he keeps making you responsible for every issue, it’s better for you to tap out of the relationship.
It’s plain as day that your boyfriend hates you and has no intention of spending the rest of his life with you.
He knows that his blame game is unjustified but he keeps doing it simply because he doesn’t care about you or your feelings.
It looks like he wants you out of his life fast and he keeps testing you to see how much you’re willing to take.
11. He stops saying “I love you”
Your boyfriend used to do it all the time and now he suddenly stopped saying “I love you.”
You know that all of this has been bottling up and, like a tempered bomb, it all blew up.
Now, when you tell him that you love him, there’s no response and the silence after your words feels like a stab in the heart.
It’s obvious that he no longer loves you and if you combine that with the other signs he’s been showing, it sure looks like your boyfriend hates you.
Reasons why your boyfriend might hate you!
When you find yourself in a situation like this, it’s normal to want to know what went wrong. Why is this happening and what’s the reason for it?
That’s why I’ll try to give you possible explanations on why your boyfriend keeps behaving as if he hates you.
There’s always something behind the curtains that explains the play that’s been going on on the main stage.
So, let’s look at the possible reasons why your boyfriend might be acting hateful toward you.
They might help you realize what’s actually going on between the two of you.
1. You want to control everything
No one likes to be controlled and told what to do and your boyfriend is no exception.
Maybe you’ve been trying to control him and he hates that feeling. In return, he has been behaving hatefully because he doesn’t know what else to do.
He feels uncomfortable with you controlling him and that feeling has turned into resentment and hate.
Maybe you could try to have a chat with him. If he feels trapped, then think about your behavior.
Are you really trying to control him? If the answer is yes, then you should change your behavior and see if he’s willing to change his.
If he stops acting as if he hates you, then problem solved.
But if he still continues doing the same thing, then there must be something bigger behind his hateful behavior.
2. You take him for granted
We all feel bad when we notice that other people are taking us for granted.
It hurts to know that someone thinks that you’ll always be around, no matter how badly they treat you.
This may be the reason why your boyfriend hates you.
In the beginning, you always made an effort to show him that you appreciated him and that you were always there for him.
Now, things have changed and he doesn’t like it.
As a result, he feels hate for you as he has no idea how to tell you that he doesn’t like the way you’re treating him.
Men tend to have trouble letting their partners know that they aren’t appreciated.
It goes against their idea of an alpha male who’s strong enough on his own.
That’s why they use a passive-aggressive way of hating on you in order to let you know that they’re unhappy about something.
3. You don’t give him enough space
Even though the two of you are in a relationship, each of you should still have some time to spend on your own.
In these moments, your partner won’t bother you and you’ll be able to do whatever makes you happy.
Maybe you keep your boyfriend too close and simply aren’t giving him enough space.
It makes him feel like he’s suffocating, and at one point, it’s become too much for him.
But he thinks that if he tells you that, you won’t understand where he’s coming from.
Give him more space and see if anything changes. If things remain the same, then his hatred is deeply rooted inside of him.
4. You don’t give him enough attention
Guys can act weird when it comes to attention. Even though they don’t like to show it, they actually like attention more than you think.
And the second he feels that he’s not your priority, it’ll show in his behavior.
That’s why he might start acting as if he hates you when actually he just wants you to pay more attention to him.
5. You still talk about your ex
If you still mention your ex in your boyfriend’s company, he might feel threatened by it.
In order to cope with his feelings, he might start to act as if he hates you.
So, think about cutting the praise of your ex and focusing on your current boyfriend. This might be the best cure for his hateful behavior.
6. You act too flirty with other men
Maybe your boyfriend acts as if he hates you because you’re being too flirty with other guys.
It makes him uncomfortable but maybe he’s not saying anything because he wants you to realize it on your own.
In order to make you notice the mistake you’re making, he’s started acting as if he hates you, thinking that you’ll understand why he’s doing that.
Be honest with yourself and admit that you won’t feel comfortable if he was the one who kept flirting with other women.
It would instantly ruin your mood and you would feel disrespected.
Maybe he feels the same way?
To wrap things up…
The time spent wondering “Why does my boyfriend hate me?“ should be time spent loving yourself.
Don’t ever let his hateful behavior lead you to mental distress, as it’s definitely possible.
Overthinking what’s going on and feeling like your boyfriend hates you can make you feel not good enough.
In that case, your mental health would suffer and the whole situation would be awful for your well-being.
At the same time, don’t jump to conclusions before you’re sure what’s really going on.
Maybe your behavior has made him act that way and maybe his intentions aren’t as bad as they seem.
Once you recognize the root problem, you’ll then be able to know what course of action to take.
If you made him act that way, the two of you could work together on solving the issue.
But if it’s all part of his personality and he’s finally showing his real face, then it’s better for you to walk away now before things only get worse.
You’re worth more than being with a guy who no longer feels love for you and whose hateful, abusive behavior could ruin you.