Having a husband who completely ignores you is something that can cause a lot of problems in a marriage.
When your husband ignores you, your feelings suddenly change. You feel unwanted, undesired.
You start to think you are maybe not good enough for him.
Your head spins and you move away from him to think about the various reasons why he might be acting this way.
You start to go over the things you have talked about and recall all the things that you have done in an effort to figure out what is wrong.
It is important to know that trust, respect, and good communication between partners are the pillars of a healthy and successful relationship.
Most couples fail in their attempts because they become comfortable with their partner and feel like those things are not mandatory in general.
Little do they know, those things must remain in a relationship for it to work.
As we know, women are usually more emotional than men.
When a problem appears in a relationship, women have a hard time letting go and sometimes they force a conversation just to make it easier.
However, men are not very good at conversations.
There are men who don’t like to talk at all, unless there is a problem and even then they will simply back off and they will sweep the problem under the carpet.
There are times when your husband ignores you, avoids you, and stops sharing anything with you.
It is hard to live with a person who doesn’t want to share their life with you, even though you are living together.
Your relationship fades, and there is no pleasure in your married life. You start to question your marriage and look for reasons for his behavior.
You want to react, but you don’t know what to do.
“What are some dos and don’ts in such situations?” and, “What are the possible reasons for such behavior?” are two of the questions I will try to answer in this article.
Ignoring a partner is the worst thing you can do. So what are the likely reasons for this behavior?
When your partner ignores you, it might be because he is cheating on you.
I know this is hard to hear, but if your husband is ignoring and avoiding you, it might be because he has found someone else or he likes someone else.
There are many reasons why people move away from each other as time passes and one of them might just be this.
The distance between you and your husband will only increase if he has an extramarital affair.
However, don’t jump to any conclusions. You have to find proof first before confronting your husband about such a thing.
If you are wrong and he doesn’t have anyone besides you, you will only create a greater rift between the two of you.
As I said before, trust is very important for a healthy relationship.
Another reason for his behavior might be because you are too needy or clingy.
There are times when we simply don’t think we are the cause of the problem.
We think of ourselves as perfect human beings who would not hurt a fly, but sometimes we do the opposite.
Nevertheless, in this case, it is not a fly, but an actual human being.
All of us know that women are sometimes needy or clingy. It is a tough thing to hear, but it is the bitter truth.
The problem is, women are usually not even aware of that.
Women and men think differently in certain situations. What one finds to be needy, the other might think is completely normal.
For example, when going shopping together, men find it boring to go to a mall and be there for a couple of hours or more.
For women, it is completely normal, and some of them are angry or upset if their men don’t want to go with them.
You have to find a compromise together. If he doesn’t like doing something, then that is completely fine.
You don’t need him to be around you all the time and you don’t need to be constantly nagging about anything and everything that doesn’t suit you.
Sometimes men ignore women because of that particular reason. They avoid women when they think they are needy or clingy.
So when your husband ignores you, think about this. Are you needy?
So, why else could my husband ignore me?
Maybe it is because you have high expectations.
Having very high expectations about a person can lead to your downfall. He doesn’t know how to handle all of that pressure.
Men like to prove themselves, without a doubt, but if you inflict unrealistic assumptions on his life, he might think that he is not worthy of you if he cannot fulfill them.
That might be the reason why your husband ignores you and that might be the reason why he only shows you the cold shoulder.
Sometimes men defend themselves by being silent.
They don’t want to hurt your feelings, which is why they will say nothing, and they also won’t say that you are maybe asking too much from them.
Also, if he has too much work to do, he might avoid you.
Sometimes the solution to your problem is simply to look at his work schedule and think, “Does he have too much work to do?”
You cannot simply guess what is going on inside a man’s head. Sometimes the best solution is to just ask him.
The reason why he is ignoring you might be because he is currently overwhelmed at work and doesn’t have time to talk to or spend time with you.
He prioritizes certain things, which you should not take too personally.
However, if he spends more time with his friends than you, that is when you should worry.
He might ignore you because he doesn’t care about your issues at all.
He doesn’t notice or make an effort to listen to your problems. Instead, he simply ignores them because ignorance is bliss.
Such ignorance can have a terrible effect on a marriage, because the problems won’t be resolved on their own.
You have to talk to each other in order for the marriage to work out.
However, if one side doesn’t want to listen or doesn’t make the effort to understand the other, then it might be the end of the road for the two of you.
A husband and wife should take this matter very seriously and talk to each other.
Women tend to have more patience in this regard, if her husband ignores her like this.
Another reason why he ignores you might be because you have communication issues.
Men have feelings like everyone else. Sometimes, in an argument, a woman knowingly or unknowingly uses harsh words, after which her husband feels hurt.
In order to avoid such fights and heartless words, he ignores you and then the problem only gets worse.
Also, he might avoid you if you keep finding faults in him.
Disagreements and arguments are normal for every married couple. Two individuals don’t always think the same way, and conflicts happen.
However, if you end a discussion by blaming your husband or telling him it is his fault, then he will probably start ignoring you.
You need to recognize your own mistakes and apologize for them.
As I said before, marriage takes time and effort. Just because you vowed not to leave each other, it doesn’t mean you can treat each other badly.
If you don’t admit to your mistakes and say sorry for them, your husband will refrain from having any arguments with you, and eventually, you will think that he is ignoring you.
It is difficult when your husband is ignoring you, especially if you don’t know the cause of such behavior.
Watch out for certain things and think about the proper way to respond.
So, here are some things that you can do when your husband ignores you:
1. Try to think positive and be affectionate
I know it is hard to be kind and to think positive when he ignores you, but you have to try.
He is well aware of his behavior, and he knows he is treating you in a negative and cold way.
However, the best way that you can respond is with kindness and affection.
If you try to show positive and kind behavior toward him, even if you are not around him, eventually, he will reciprocate and he will give you more attention and appreciation.
It is hard to respond positively when he is giving you the silent treatment but you have to remain kind and stay optimistic.
One way to achieve that is to surprise him without expecting something in return.
Maybe you can cook him his favorite dish or play a movie you know he likes.
You never know what is causing his behavior. Maybe he is working hard, he is simply tired, or something outside of your marriage is bothering him.
In these situations, showing kindness can go a long way.
2. Focus on yourself
I know it may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes it can help.
If you want to respond constructively when dealing with a lack of communication from your husband, you can always focus on yourself.
It may seem hard to focus on yourself and your needs, but it will make your life easier.
You have to do something in your life that is just for you and stop doing things for others.
No one can escape their marriage duties and you won’t be focusing on yourself every day, but it will ease your mind at least.
With a hobby, you can keep your mind busy, especially in times when your husband isn’t talking to you.
3. Practice patience
Having a heated argument with your husband can lead to a gruesome ending.
You have to calm down and be patient. Pause for a second and reflect on the things that might have caused the present situation.
You may have had an argument, a fight, or an emotional outburst, and the best way to resolve such a thing is to give yourself some time to cool off.
Maybe you were on the receiving side of silent treatment.
You must have felt angry or disappointed with your partner, but you need to give him enough time to cool himself down and in the process, you will also practice patience on your own.
That cooling period could last several days or even weeks; it doesn’t matter.
You shouldn’t jump to any conclusions while you are in a heated argument, because no good will come of it.
4. Be ready to talk about your problems again
If your husband continues ignoring you and giving you the silent treatment, you will have no other choice but to give him more time and space to think.
Eventually, he will have the desire to talk to you, so you have to be ready to reconnect.
Show him that you appreciate his willingness to display positive behavior and share his thoughts with you, and a productive dialogue will emerge from that.
It is difficult to ignore your partner when you are in a marriage.
Sooner or later, he will talk to you despite ignoring you and you have to be ready for that connection in advance.
Make him realize that his passive-aggressive behavior was not the right thing to do and has damaged your relationship in a certain manner.
If he realizes that he has hurt you by giving you the silent treatment, then you can forgive him and move on but if he doesn’t, then you should tell him the best thing to do is leave.
5. Try to reignite the spark
Sometimes, when your husband ignores you, it is because your marriage has become dull and boring.
You have created a routine and now your marriage has lost its spark. Now you have to try to reignite the spark you once had in your relationship.
Do you remember how you went on dates at the beginning of your relationship?
Do you remember how you made an effort to look exceptional when you were with him?
That is exactly what you should do now.
Put on your best dress and say you want to go on a date with him, and try flirting a little, as it can really help a marriage.
You can try to reconnect with him sexually.
Try to bring back the undefinable excitement that you had when you first started dating and plan a date night at least once a week.
Your husband might be having a hard time at work, so planning a date night can be a great escape for both of you.
It will certainly add a positive boost to his behavior toward you.
6. Ask a friend for advice
While it might seem a little odd to tell a friend about your marital problems, sometimes a fresh perspective can bring about a solution.
When you have had a heated argument or a fight and when your husband is ignoring you, you cannot think straight.
If your husband has been ignoring you for too long, then talking to a third person about what’s happening can help solve your problem.
You can try to find out from his friends why he is acting so weird.
Sometimes a guy is honest with his friends and hide things from his wife because he doesn’t want to hurt her.
Whatever you do, it is important he knows you care about him.
Ask a friend to go out and have a coffee with you, but choose someone who might know the answer to your issue.
If they can’t help, you can always ask someone else and maybe your husband has already confided in one of your friends.
I know that it is not the right thing to do, and he needs to be able to talk to you about anything, but sometimes a guy just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
7. Try to make your bedroom more lively
One thing that men start to miss in a long-term marriage is being sexually active in the bedroom.
For them, doing the deed is essential because they can never get enough of it. If you constantly deny him of this need, then he might start to ignore you.
Try to reignite the spark in your bedroom. Talk to him and try to listen to what he wants from you.
If you think that what he wants is acceptable then try to fulfill it. Doing the deed in your marriage means much more than just the plain physical act.
8. Seek counseling (as the last resort)
If nothing works and he is still ignoring you, then you can try to ask for professional help. Most couples regret not asking for help and end up divorced.
Seeking counseling doesn’t mean your marriage has to end. It means that both of you will put the effort in to make the marriage work.
Talking to a marriage counselor can help you fix all the unresolved issues that you both have.
A therapist can definitely help a couple face their problems that have been going on for a long time.
While your response to your husband ignoring you might depend on the problems you have in your marriage, there are certain things that you should not do when this is happening.
One thing you should never do when your husband ignores you is argue with him.
Arguing with your loved one will never solve your problems. You simply can’t think straight in those times and it won’t bring about a resolution.
You might be angry at your husband if he spends more time with his friends than you, but arguing and raising your voice won’t solve the issue at hand.
The best way to fix a problem is to sit and talk about it like adults. Losing your temper and picking a fight won’t get you anywhere.
You have to control yourself in these types of situations and stay calm, no matter what.
Also, you should not force him into opening up about his problems.
You cannot force anyone to open about something if they are not ready to talk about it.
Yes, you need to talk to your husband about making each other happy, but do not try to force him to talk.
It will only create a countereffect and instead of bringing you closer, you will just push him away from you.
As I said, practice patience and give him some time.
You can remind him of the problems you’re having, but give him time to think about them rather than pushing him.
You don’t want to be ignored, but that doesn’t mean you should bully your husband to try to get an answer for his behavior.
I know it is a frustrating feeling that you have right now but do not give up on him just because he’s ignoring you.
Your marriage can work if both of you are ready to put in the effort.
Another thing you should not do when your husband ignores you is mention his past mistakes in conversation.
What happened in the past should stay there. You have to let go of his previous deeds and not mention them in your current disputes.
Don’t try to punish him by dredging up the past. You feel ignored now, but talking about past mistakes won’t get you anywhere.
Move forward positively and try to be kind and cheerful.
Whatever you think would be the right way to respond when your husband ignores you, never disrespect him!
Marriage is not about competing with each other, it is about two people living their best lives by showing they respect each other.
You will not always agree with what he has to say, but give him credit when he tries.
If you disrespect him, he will definitely ignore you, no matter how much he loves you.
There could be many reasons why he is ignoring you. Don’t think that just because he is ignoring you that he is cheating on you.
You have to figure out what the situation is and then respond accordingly.
Make sure to have honest communication with him and try to listen to him, even though it is hard.