It’s never easy seeing your ex with someone new. But this might be harder for some people than others. So, what happens when a narcissist sees you with someone else?
You don’t expect such a person to stay calm and walk away as if nothing happened. After all, the time you’ve spent with him taught you an awful lot about his character. Nevertheless, the important thing is to leave those people who hurt you in the past.
But, what can happen when you finally decide to move on but they keep appearing out of the blue? You’ve learned that narcissists can be quite unpredictable, so it’s something that worries you.
You shouldn’t continue living in fear of what they’re going to do, say, or think next. However, I also know that some things are easier said than done and moving on after your narcissistic ex counts as one of them.
Sometimes, your previous partner can still impact you greatly even after you’ve broken up with him. The influence he had on you is strong; the time spent with him left its consequences.
However, it’s all in the past and it should stay there. Perhaps you may think how you don’t have the strength to overcome those effects he left on you.
But you just need to remember that those bad things are all behind you and good things await you. Therefore, when the narcissist sees you with someone else, don’t look down!
Stand proud and don’t let him scare you away. There will probably be a lot of mixed emotions from both sides, but don’t let that affect you.
You may think that you’re the only one trembling on the inside, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Believe it or not, the one who’s really in shock is a narcissist. It sounds unbelievable but life is full of surprises.
What does a narcissist think when he sees you with someone else?
It’s never easy just diving straight into one’s mind and finding out the truth. It might be especially hard if that someone is already slightly unpredictable.
When thinking of narcissists, one of the first thoughts that cross our minds is a person who’s boisterous, egoistic, and talks all about themselves.
Well, that’s definitely true. However, there’s another completely different side to people who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder.
This side is more quiet, dark, gloomy, mysterious… you name it. It’s everything you don’t want to see and wish to avoid with all of your heart.
Unfortunately, if you’ve dealt with a narcissist before, you’ve most certainly met his quiet dark side. Honestly, it’s a lot scarier than the loud one.
Regardless, you must learn how to deal with all of that negativity. The first step on your road to recovery is already done. It all ended, so why should you stay in those same shadows again?
I understand that even though you’re not together anymore, narcissists can still be quite intimidating. They have the power to control a person that’s not even within their reach. So, to be prepared, here’s what you can expect from your narcissistic ex after he realizes you’ve moved on.
1. He will give you the stare
It’s something that makes your blood boil and freezes you at the same time. Unfortunately, that’s a feeling you know all too well.
A narcissistic stare is used by a narcissistic person to scare or intimidate someone, possibly their victim. It’s cold and bone-crushing.
The narcissist will usually use this infamous tactic whenever he needs it. Therefore, whenever it seems fit, you can totally expect one of these stares that are shooting daggers at you.
In this case, when a narcissist sees you with someone else, he’ll use his eye contact to intimidate you. Even though you’ve broken up, it’s not so simple in narcissists’ eyes and he’ll do his best to gain control over you.
2. He will mock you
Narcissists are entirely weak and unstable people. This means that they’re oftentimes incapable of dealing with their own emotions.
Think of it like bullies in elementary school. They don’t really know how to act and can’t figure out a better way to grab your attention.
Consequently, they start to pick on someone who’s weaker than them and unable to defend themselves. This, unfortunately, gives them that sense of power they’ve always been longing for.
A narcissist just wants to be the one pulling all of the strings. Therefore, it’s no surprise that he’ll mock you when he sees you with someone else. It’s one of his natural reactions.
3. He will try to ignore you
When he’s done with the mocking part, a narcissist will almost surely do his best to ignore you. This way he thinks that he’s being able to pull the trick.
When the narcissist sees you with someone else, he’ll act like he doesn’t care. Of course, he doesn’t want to be the one who is showing emotions. After all, he’s a dark, mysterious person we’ve talked about.
By choosing to ignore you, he’s trying to make you believe that he doesn’t care about you. He never did and never will. But deep down, he’s outraged that he lost his supply of energy and dominance. And that hurts him even more than you can imagine.
4. He’ll lose it
All of that built-up jealousy really needs to be let go. Even if he’s really good at hiding his emotions, a narcissist can sometimes make a mistake.
There’s a high chance that he will feel envious once he realizes that you’ve moved on. He’s aware of what he has lost, but it’s too late now.
Jealousy can reflect on different levels. From insulting you and your new partner to trying to get you back. He’ll do whatever he can to come out as a winner of the game.
Although he can be cold-hearted, he’s still not made of steel and can often slip up. You’ll know if he’s really jealous because it’s going to be a bit too obvious.
5. He’ll try to get back to you
Once he’s convinced that you’re seriously happy with someone else, the narcissist will completely lose it. He’ll feel like he’s going through something that shouldn’t be happening to him.
How could you possibly be happy when he’s not around? Yes, his selfishness is greatly present even after you’re no longer together.
It’s no secret that these people want to keep you all for themselves. But it’s not out of love. It’s more because they’re highly jealous and possessive.
To be honest, a narcissist is a really insecure person who doesn’t know how to express his feelings and will take an insult to anything. Therefore, don’t expect him to do the right thing.
You might think that if he wants you back, he’ll simply be open about it and talk to you. But that’s not how things work with this type of people. Honestly, everything’s a game to them.
If the narcissist sees you with someone else, there’s a high chance that he’ll want you back. However, it’s rarely because he’s aware of what he once had.
It’s rather a wish to instill some more power. To show people that he can have you whenever he wants to, even from a distance. Therefore, whatever he does, don’t give in.
6. He’ll want to hurt you
Perhaps you’ve already moved on and chose to forgive your former partner for the way he treated you. Still, it doesn’t mean that you forgot.
How could someone possibly erase all of the atrocities they had to go through? All of the narcissistic abuse and various strategies he used to make you lose your mind.
You get flashbacks of that toxic relationship just at the mention of your ex’s name and the thought of his face. But when the narcissist sees you with someone else, he reminisces a different version of the story.
He thinks about all the power he had and the control he constantly asserted over you. The narcissist looks back on the dominance he had over you in every aspect of your life. He longs for your obedience, low self-esteem, and unyielding trust you had for him.
Maybe you won’t be able to instantly reveal his real intentions. You notice he’s getting close to you, but you don’t give it much thought. Perhaps he’s sorry and regrets the things he has done?
Well, this sounds very nice and is something a sensitive person would do. But not narcissists. Instead, he thinks of this as a competing game.
All the jealousy and insecurities will send the wrong message. Therefore, your former partner may try to get back to you to inflict some more pain.
A narcissist only needs one message to get across clearly: he can manipulate his way into and out of anything. At least, that’s what he thinks.
What to do when a narcissist sees you with someone else?
You can hear that frantic voice in your head going “What do I do?! What do I do?!” Maybe you’ll sweat your head off and have shaky hands. Perhaps you’ll feel a bit wobbly as well.
Well, nothing matters because you’re not going to show any of your weaknesses to your ex. When a narcissist sees you with someone else, it’s all he’s looking for.
He wants to make you regret your choices. Even though you got rid of him, his sick and twisted ways and desires can still try to get to you. Don’t fall for these tricks and don’t trust a manipulator ever again.
You don’t want to get back with him. Moreover, you don’t want to have to do anything with him. He has already ruined your life enough. That’s why you won’t let him continue with that.
When a narcissist sees you with someone else, you might try to turn the tables on him. And we both know that revenge is best served cold. So, there are a couple of things you can do.
1. Stay put
One of the last things you can do is show him you’re weak. You can unconsciously do this by showing discomfort. It implies looking away from his stare, squirming under his gaze, etc.
Instead, what you have to do is not let his presence phase you at all. If you give in to his little game, you’ll fall into a trap all over again. We don’t want that, so make sure you stay concentrated.
When a narcissist sees you with someone else, all he’ll want to do is to make you suffer. He may offer a nice, warm smile and a couple of words, but don’t let him fool you.
He may only wish you luck but that’s not what he really wants. There’s always a hidden meaning behind the narcissist’s words. But we’re going to reveal all of those secrets.
2. Don’t seal your mouth shut
If you’re trying to avoid having a conversation with the narcissist, you should know a couple of things. He will intentionally choose a topic so you can have something to say.
Don’t worry because this is totally okay. If you keep your mouth shut, he may get the wrong idea. A narcissist will think you’re exhibiting your weaknesses and try to probe even deeper.
Speak up your mind and let him know you’re doing great. However, don’t be too open about it as he’ll assume you’re just bluffing. Perhaps he’ll even use this new information to take advantage of you. After all, it’s the thing he’s good at.
Either way, hold your head high and don’t show any fear. He can sense it and before you know it, he’ll try to lure you in.
3. Don’t go down that road
Whatever you do, try not to bring up the past, especially if it has something to do with you two. When the narcissist sees you with someone else, he’ll attempt to make you regret your choice.
Therefore, he may probably play on that nostalgia card. After all, he’s the one pulling the dirty tricks all the time, isn’t he?
What I mean to say is that you have to be ready for some throwbacks and reminiscing. The narcissist will most likely try to make you remember all of the good memories you spent together. That is if there are any.
If you’re the first to bring up something from the past, he’ll casually think of it as a green light. Narcissists only need a small, even an unintended nudge, to go into that evil mode.
How to dodge a narcissist’s cruel tactics?
We’ve already established that when the narcissist sees you with someone else, there’s a high chance he’s going to do everything in his power to ruin your happiness.
It’s simply who he is. Cold, hurting, insecure, and broken person. He can’t stand to see someone else enjoying life if he isn’t able to enjoy his.
A narcissist will show jealousy, possessiveness, and selfishness when he realizes that you’ve moved on. There won’t be too much talking done, but he’ll rather try to do everything he can.
You were in a similar situation some time ago. But now that you’ve set yourself free and got out of those chains, you tasted freedom – and it feels so good!
You can’t go back, so you have to be smart and know what his next steps are going to be. Some things are likely to happen and you should know how to react and deal with them.
1. Don’t pity him
You can’t know for sure what’s going to happen when the narcissist sees you with someone else. But we can guess that it’s not going to look pretty in any way.
Narcissists are clever and sly people, so I bet you they’re going to find their way around. Perhaps one of their strategies to lure you in is trying to make you pity them.
Don’t ever fall for this trick even if they’re so convincing. When a narcissist sees you with someone else, he’ll use that to his advantage.
You might hear how he’s still not doing good after all you’ve been through and yet you already managed to find someone new. Don’t listen to him; we both know that he’s single by choice.
2. Don’t blame yourself
Narcissists are known to sweet-talk their way out of things and manipulate you into thinking a certain way. Just like he love-bombed and gaslighted you in the past, he’ll try the same tactic once again.
When the narcissist sees you with someone else, he’ll try everything he can to blame you. Your former partner will show his true face one more time.
In his eyes, you’re the reason you’ve gone separate ways, you’re the one who didn’t try enough, and you’re the one who didn’t want your relationship to succeed.
These are all desperate attempts to make you blame yourself just so he can get that one last thrill out of your misery. Remember that it’s not your fault and don’t let him point fingers at you.
3. Don’t be afraid to move on
If you asked narcissists what they would like their ex-partners to be after a breakup, the answer would be rather simple. They’ll want their exes to be miserable.
So, when the narcissist sees you with someone else, it’s not really what he expects to happen. He didn’t think you’d be happy without him. But don’t let his sour face stop you.
Even though he hasn’t moved on with his life, you did. Don’t feel sorry for him or try to mend his broken heart. You won’t forget all that effort and pain you went through easily.
Therefore, when you stumble upon your narcissist ex, don’t think too much of it. Relish in the fact that you left this person in the past and don’t look back!