The feeling of missing someone can be super intense if you’re unable to control it. And that someone could be a person you’ve never been with or it could be your ex.
Even if you’re never dated that person, you can still miss him because you formed a strong emotional and mental connection with him. And the more time you spent together, the more your feelings grew for him.
But unrequited love comes in all shapes and sizes, and each of them is equally painful.
This kind of love forces you to question your own worth. You can’t stop thinking about him and try to think of ways to get him out of your head, secretly hoping you’ll forget about him quickly.
So, what if I told you that you can’t stop missing someone? You can only try to stop the pain of missing someone.
The reality of the situation is that you can’t forget about him overnight. You can’t just snap your fingers and never think of him again. It doesn’t work that way.
There’s no instant solution to help you stop missing someone in record time. And no crash course or guide on earth can help you forget about him overnight.
I’m not saying that you can’t try various methods like convincing yourself that you don’t miss him and that he never cared for you in the first place.
You can try doing that a couple of times, but every time you keep coming back to reality and get back to your initial state where he’s the one occupying your every thought.
And if the person you’re trying to forget is your ex, then every couple that you see on the street and every romantic movie will remind you of him.
You’ll be tempted to look at your old photos and texts, and overanalyze the situations where you could’ve done better to avoid pushing him away from you.
Sometimes, you won’t be able to sleep at night because of the tears rolling down your face, and texting him to see what he’s doing will become a legitimate option for you.
You’ll start thinking about how you two can work things out and give your failed relationship another chance.
You may even drunk dial him to tell him how much you miss him. You’ll reach for your phone to confess to him that with each second you two are apart, the pain inside of you intensifies.
The next day when you wake up, you realize that you made a mistake and that you shouldn’t have contacted him.
You’ll give yourself a pep talk and say stuff like “He doesn’t deserve me at all,” “He’s just a player who doesn’t want anything serious with me,” and stuff like that.
You’ll promise yourself to never do it again and that you’ll forget about him.
But have you ever considered that the things you’ve been through are part of your healing journey? In fact, there are a couple of stages that you have to go through before you forget about him and stop missing him.
Stage 1: Denial
During this stage, you’ll try to convince yourself that this isn’t a big deal and that the change isn’t affecting your life at all. You’ll think that everything’s stayed the same, even though you’re not together anymore, and that your happiness doesn’t depend on him (which is actually true).
On top of that, you’ll build walls around you so that no one can see your pent-up feelings, even though they’re moments away from bursting into the open.
Stage 2: Anger
You may isolate yourself from the rest of the world because you’re confused, enraged, and anxious.
You’ll blame yourself for everything that has happened to your relationship and for not trying hard enough to stop him from leaving you.
Stage 3: Acceptance
The last and final stage is acceptance, which isn’t necessarily positive. You can accept that you’re missing him without actually moving on.
But you need to keep in mind that forgetting about someone doesn’t happen in one go. After accepting that he isn’t part of your life anymore, then you can begin your process of forgetting about him.
Give yourself time!
The most important rule is not to be hard on yourself. Take some time and space to accept what happened and to process the emotions you’re feeling right now.
Remember that time heals everything!
Even if you get the feeling that no one understands you, I assure you that time does. Embrace those negative feelings and let them roam freely through your body.
Take a deep breath and find ways to express yourself. Don’t live in the past. Instead, live in the moment.
I never said that forgetting about the man will be easy. You’ll be tempted a million times to text him before you completely discard that awful idea.
But you’re a beautiful, independent woman who knows she’s strong. You can do it.
So, how you’re going to do that? Well, by expressing yourself without restrictions, or watching a romantic movie and then crying it all out if you must.
Scream from the top of your lungs if you have to, so that even your neighbors hear you. You have every right in this world to tell everyone how you’re feeling.
Whatever it is that you decide to do, don’t hold those intense feelings inside you. Understand that they’re part of you and find a way to express them.
The reality is, you’ll forget about the man once you stop trying to do so.
You need to accept that there’s no future where the two of you are together. Once you realize that there’s nothing you can do to bring this man back, you’ll start forgetting about him.
Once you stop battling against your own emotions and start embracing them, you’ll stop missing him. Eventually, he’ll become someone from your past who taught you a valuable lesson – that you’re stronger than you think you are.
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