The truth about narcissists is that they’ll eventually try to come back to you. No matter what you’ve done to them or how hard you try, it’s almost impossible to get rid of them.
Many women make the same mistake. They take back a narcissist and give him a second chance. The reason they do this is that they’re still in love with him and can’t seem to let go.
Although they’re quite aware of the fact that those kinds of men are bad for them and that they’re going to make them feel miserable, still something draws those women back to their narcissistic men.
In reality, what draws them back are their well-crafted lies and empty promises that they’ll change – that this time, things are going to be different. But the real truth is that they’ll just continue with their old habits to feed their ego.
Let’s get one thing straight. A narcissist doesn’t care for you as a person. He only sees you as an object, someone who fulfills his needs and who he can use whenever it suits him.
He certainly won’t come back to you because he’s genuinely in love with you.
He’ll be back because you have something he needs. You’re lying to yourself by thinking that he’s returned to make amends and apologize.
You sincerely believe he’ll change, but that never actually happens and all you end up with is disappointment and heartbreak.
So, you must be wondering what to do when a narcissist comes back. Is there any way to once and for all prevent him from coming back? Here’s what you can do about your narcissistic abuser.
1. Don’t believe his words
A narcissist will come crawling back to you, saying how sorry he is for hurting you in the first place. He’ll pretend to be devastated and broken, saying stuff like his entire world has come crashing down since you left.
Don’t for one second fall for it because it’s ridiculous talking about an apology when he’s never felt an ounce of remorse whatsoever for what he’s done to you.
An apology can only be sincere if a person is truly sorry for what he’s done and backs it up in deeds.
And a narcissist knows that, that’s why he puts on a show while trying to come back to you. He knows that his presence in your life will eventually cause your heart to break into a million pieces, but he doesn’t care about your feelings at all.
Instead of accepting him and giving him a second chance, prove to him and yourself how strong you are by not believing a word he says.
2. Cut him off
A narcissist comes back because he knows you’re his safety net. He’s all too aware that regardless of what he does to you, you’ll still be there for him.
And as long as you’re there to give him countless other chances, he’s going to keep doing what he’s doing because there are no consequences.
Eventually, he always gets what he wants and you inevitably end up being broken and alone. So, why should you take a man like that back? If you do, you’re just reassuring him that this awful behavior is acceptable.
So, instead of giving him another chance, the best thing you can do is to muster the courage and cut him off. Make him see that you’ve had enough of his poor treatment and that you’re no longer available to him.
Even if this doesn’t scare him off for good, it will definitely keep him at a distance for a while.
3. Ignore him if he stalks you
When you leave a narcissist, he’ll try his best to make his presence known to you. Suddenly, you’ll see him all over the place – at your favorite restaurant, at the park. Wherever you go, he’ll follow you.
This is actually one of his tactics to pull you back to him. He probably misses you, but he sure has a weird way of showing it!
And when I say he misses you, I’m not saying that does so in a normal way. He’s actually stalking you because he misses draining all the energy out of you. By doing so, he’ll be happy and satisfied again.
He’ll stalk you on social media and attentively observe your every move.
So the only sane thing to do is to flat-out ignore him. He only wants to get inside your head, remember that.
Don’t fall into his trap and let him convince you that he’s actually a changed man. He isn’t and he’ll never be.
He’s still that manipulative man who’ll use you to satisfy his self-centered needs. Save yourself the pain and freeze him out.
4. Use the no-contact rule
The no-contact rule is a wonderful tool to make a narcissist go away. The only thing is, it’s sometimes difficult to maintain it.
It’s almost impossible to do so if you have to see your ex-narcissist on a daily basis. Perhaps he’s a co-worker of yours or an ex-husband you share a kid with.
Whatever the circumstances, rid of him as much as possible by blocking him out of your life. But you have to be patient and persistent in your goal.
Certainly, there’ll be times when you’re going to miss him. But you have to remind yourself of what you’ve been through when you were with him. And keep in mind that you don’t deserve to be “loved” by a man like that.
5. You have to be unsympathetic
If you genuinely want your narcissist to never come back to you, you have to make yourself as uninteresting as you can. Act as though you’re a dull person so he doesn’t wish to spend time with you.
Don’t respond to his messages or provocations and don’t let him play mind games with you.
This is the only way to make him leave you for good.