When a guy ignores you after an argument, you feel like you’re going to break up right away. You feel like he wouldn’t act like that in any other case.
Why would he even ignore you unless he doesn’t love you anymore, right? The thing is that we, as women, overthink these things constantly.
Of course, it’s not fun to get into a fight with the man you love so dearly. You know that fights are completely normal in relationships but why do they have to bring so many problems along with them?
You both raise your voice and say some very awful things to each other and you address issues that are troubling your relationship. And this is not the easiest thing to get back from.
You can’t just move past it and forget that it ever happened, especially not if you said some things that you definitely need to apologize for.
However, how are you supposed to do that when the guy ignores you after an argument? He doesn’t reply to your text messages, your phone calls go straight to voicemail, and it’s like he completely disappeared.
You’re going through a million scenarios in your head and you don’t understand his reason for doing this, nor do you understand what you should do at this point.
You’re not a guy, so you don’t even know what’s going on in his own mind. Is he really going to leave you after this?
6 reasons a guy ignores you after a fight
Before we get into the things that you can do when a guy ignores you after an argument, you may want to think about the possible reason why he’s ignoring you right now. He’s giving you the silent treatment for a reason.
Sometimes, a person needs a couple of days by themselves but that doesn’t mean that this is normal behavior, especially if you’re in a long-distance relationship. You can’t just show up on his doorstep and demand his attention, so you need to do this smartly.
So let’s figure out his reason first and then we’ll talk about the things you can do to make things good between you two.
1. He doesn’t care enough to talk to you right now
As awful as it may sound, men don’t really care enough to talk about issues like this. He’ll simply ignore you to avoid further conflict.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s still angry but rather that he’s completely indifferent to this entire situation.
If he wanted your relationship to get back to the way it was before, then he would probably try to talk things through with you.
He would want to reassure you that everything’s fine or he’d at least tell you that he needs some time apart so that he can think properly.
However, he’s completely ghosting you at this point. A man who cares about you would never do this and he would never make you question him like this.
You’re left to wonder about what’s going on in his mind while he isn’t even thinking of you. He couldn’t care less about you right now.
If this is something that happens quite often and you’re always the one to reach out to him first, then this may be the reason for ignoring you.
2. He has other commitments
Before you just jump to conclusions, you should really think about the timing of the argument. Did he tell you that he had something very important on the next day?
How much do you know about his schedule? Did he say that work is currently hectic and that he doesn’t know he’s going to keep up with everything?
You may have forgotten that this man actually has other obligations these next few days. You forgot that he told you about a conference he has to attend or about the workload he has to get through.
You’ve been completely immersed in your own pain that you forgot about all the things he has to do at the moment.
Just remember the last conversation you had before your fight. If you’ve always had a loving relationship and this doesn’t usually happen, it’s quite possible that he simply doesn’t have time right now.
Sometimes, people have to disassociate from a situation in order to be productive. He’ll deal with this issue the very moment he’s free, he simply doesn’t have time for it right now.
3. He needs some time for himself to reflect on what happened
When a guy ignores you after an argument, he’s probably assessing the current situation and reflecting on what happened.
He’s repeating the fight in his head, over and over again, to remind himself of the awful things that were said.
He’ll need space to think things through and come to a proper conclusion that will help your relationship blossom and not fall apart. However, he may also be thinking about breaking up with you if he talked about it during the argument.
Sometimes, people take their time to make a hard decision and a break-up is definitely a hard decision to make.
You can’t really invade his space right now and demand his attention because that may only make him angrier. Instead, you can assess things one last time to see whether this is really the reason why he’s ignoring you.
Did you say anything that may be unforgivable? Did he talk about breaking up during the fight?
If either answer is yes, he’s probably contemplating breaking up with you. If there was nothing of the sort during the argument, then he just wants to consider what happened so that he can come back to you with an actual conclusion.
4. He wants to calm down before he talks to you again
Fights can get extremely heated, especially if you’re both prone to losing your temper.
There are people in this world who cry during a fight, there are people who are completely unaffected, but there are also people who get so angry that they see red.
Is your boyfriend one of the latter ones? If so, he could talk to you right now but that would only make him even madder.
He would probably say something stupid, insult you further, or make you even angrier and then the situation would get completely out of hand. Who wants to cause such destruction?
He doesn’t want to do that, he wants to talk to you rationally and calmly, but he can’t do that when he’s like a ticking time bomb. It’s easier to take some time away from you and stop messaging you while he calms down.
Your loved one isn’t avoiding you to hurt you but to preserve your heart. He doesn’t want to hurt you further so he’s staying away for a while.
The reason why a guy ignores you after an argument can be just as romantic as it can be destructive.
5. He doesn’t want to make things worse
He probably knows you better than anyone else, right? No one could ever know you as well as him.
He knows that he could only cause a bigger problem if he tried to talk to you. It’s better for him to stay on the sidelines and wait for you to make the first move when you’re ready to talk.
He thinks that you’re too angry at him to want to have an actual conversation with him and because of that, he’ll stay put until you decide to talk to him.
He doesn’t know that his absence is only making things worse. However, he truly does believe that if you wanted to talk to him, you would, so he’s staying silent until he feels like you can clear the air.
At the end of the day, he may just have a fear of losing you. He knows he could say something hurtful once more and then you’ll want to break up with him.
He obviously doesn’t want that, so he’s leaving you alone for now.
6. He didn’t think it was anything serious
Women are often much more sensitive to certain topics and they can get very emotional and irrational when an argument is over.
You’ll overthink everything because you observed his behavior and you heard every single word that came out of his mouth.
This fight was something extremely serious to you, while he doesn’t even understand what the big deal is. He probably saw it as a little misunderstanding rather than a big argument that needs resolving.
He’s oblivious to the big fight you had. Now he’s just not checking his social media out of habit rather than anything else, so he hasn’t even remembered to text you back.
From your point of view, this is an even bigger issue but he doesn’t understand the real reason for your anger. All he knows is that it was nothing serious and he can live with it but he doesn’t know how much it’s eating you up.
9 things you can do when a guy ignores you after an argument
To be blunt, the fact that your boyfriend is ignoring you right now is an absolutely childish move from him. Things should be talked about and resolved, especially in long-term relationships.
Even though you want to understand him, you can’t just sit around and wait for him to make up his mind about whether or not he wants to talk to you.
There are certain things you can do to ease your own mind and also not waste your time wondering when he’s going to text you.
1. Evaluate the situation
When a guy ignores you after an argument, it’s an immediate red flag. However, you may want to evaluate the entire situation first of all.
Go through the possible reasons why he’s ignoring you right now. Don’t sulk too long on the possibilities, rather just put things into perspective for yourself.
Think about the things that were said during the argument. If you need to, take a notebook and a pen and write down everything that you can remember.
This may seem like a hassle but I know that women love to be very detailed about these things, so don’t feel bad if you need to make a list right now.
If anything, you should definitely write down everything that happened – how his words made you feel, how his absence makes you feel right now, and so on.
Actually putting things down on paper will help you understand everything better.
2. Stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios
A woman’s brain is wired to prepare her for the worst possible scenarios. You want to be prepared for anything and everything that could happen, so you end up thinking that he’ll immediately break up with you.
You may think the fact that he’s giving you the cold shoulder means that he’s cheating on you right this second.
If I could give you one piece of relationship advice to live by, it’s to never blow things out of proportion. Just don’t think about the worst-case scenarios because things are usually better than we believe them to be.
When you’re occupied thinking about the bad things, it’ll only lead you to have a bad day and maybe even the worst day ever. You’ll think of yourself as silly the very moment he contacts you again.
Just remember that whatever happens – happens! You can’t control everything.
3. Consider how long he’s been ignoring you
A very important thing to consider is how long he’s been absent. Has it been hours, a day, or has it already been several days?
If it’s only been a couple of hours, you don’t need to panic. You shouldn’t make a big deal out of it and you may as well enjoy your free time for now.
When you’ve argued, you really should take a few hours to calm down before talking about things and you shouldn’t even think too much about this in the first place.
However, if it’s been a few days, you may as well consider yourself single now, to be honest.
4. Give him the space he needs
Regardless of the possible reasons why he doesn’t want to talk to you right now, you should definitely make him come to you.
When a guy ignores you after an argument, he makes an uneducated guess that you’ll be the one to reach out to him when the time comes.
He needs this time to think things through anyway. Don’t be the desperate girlfriend who runs after her man whenever she’s a little bit insecure.
Don’t text him, don’t call him, don’t stalk him, don’t show up at his door. He’s the one ignoring you right now, so let him come to you when he feels ready for that.
That’s when you can decide whether you actually want to talk to him or not.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people
This is a very challenging time for you mentally. I understand that and you shouldn’t disassociate from this situation just to seem more rational.
Express your emotions and don’t hold back. The best way to do that is to surround yourself with supportive people who will understand you.
Call your friends or family and tell them what happened if you feel comfortable enough with that. You can also just spend time with them and keep the information to yourself.
However, it’s very important for you to be surrounded by people who will get you out of your head. You can’t go through this alone and you shouldn’t want to.
When a guy ignores you after an argument, you will focus on him to the point where you’ll even forget to take care of yourself. Because of that, you may want to get some food with your friends and talk about everything.
6. Don’t take all the blame
He’s the one who’s ignoring you and that’s why you believe that you’re the only one to blame in this situation.
You even start making excuses for his behavior and you completely brush aside all the awful things he told you when you were arguing.
This is when you’ll start putting yourself down. Your self-esteem will falter and you’ll completely forget that you’re not at fault here.
Yes, you said some stupid things as well but that doesn’t mean that you’re the only one to blame in this situation. You’re still ready to talk to him about it and to take your share of responsibility.
However, when it comes to the things you can do right now, probably the most important one is to stop blaming yourself. He made the decision to ignore you and ghost you.
He’s the one who doesn’t want to talk to you like a mature human being. He’s being childish and he doesn’t seem to understand what his actions are doing to you.
Here you are, blaming yourself, when you’re both at fault.
7. Apologize if you know that you’ve done something wrong
You probably can’t help but blame yourself even further. You feel like you could’ve handled the situation better and that you shouldn’t have said certain things.
Even though you know that it takes two for an argument to be blown out of proportion this much, you still feel like you should be the one to apologize.
So do that. Apologize.
When you say that you’re sorry for the things that you’ve said or done and explain your actions, then the ball is in his court. But please don’t go overboard with the apology.
Don’t write him multiple paragraphs where you’re explaining yourself, because your feelings are hurt as well. You’re the victim here too so he should take part of the blame himself.
If you’re accountable for everything, you apologize for everything, and you also absolve him of any responsibility, then he’ll never change.
You can’t be in a relationship with someone who never understands what he did wrong. That’s just going to be emotionally draining for you.
Apologize for the things you know for sure were wrong to say and be done with it.
8. Give him three days max
I heard someone say once that if you don’t hear from your boyfriend in two days, you should consider yourself single. We’re going to be nice and give your guy three days.
This time is perfect for him to think things through, calm down, understand what he did wrong, and come back to you with a solution. Even if he’s busy with work, it’s likely he’ll be done with his commitments in less than three days.
He has enough time to deal with himself and everything he has going on in his life before he fully commits to dealing with the issues that were caused by your argument.
So when a guy ignores you after an argument, don’t just sit around for days waiting for him to make up his mind of whether he’s going to text you or not.
Don’t just pretend as if everything’s fine but rather make sure to know your worth.
If you wait for him and give him all the time in the world, he’ll know that he can use that against you. You don’t need him to think that he can do whatever he pleases and still come back to you weeks later.
9. After those three days, contact him
Yes, you read that correctly. When those three days are up, be the one to contact him once more.
I know you’ve already sent him that text or left a voice message saying that you’re sorry for what happened. However, after three days of no communication, you have the right to contact him once more and demand his attention.
If he’s not going to say anything then you should be the one to tell him what’s been going through your head. You’ve been going crazy thinking about this man and your last fight but he has the audacity to ghost you like this.
You deserve better than that. So if he doesn’t text you for three consecutive days, tell him that you’re not just going to wait around for him and that you’re considering breaking up with him if he’s not ready to talk about this.
I mean, do you really want a man who needs so long to figure himself out? No.
You need someone who’s going to treasure you and someone who’s going to reassure you that everything’s going to be all right. He’s definitely not that guy if he keeps ignoring you for days.
When a guy ignores you after an argument, you should understand him but he should also be the one who understands you.