Think aloud
Breaking up is never easy, but things get even more complicated when you end a relationship with a person who suffers from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). What happens, though, when a narcissist leaves you alone? Will you finally be able to lead a normal life and escape his controlling behavior?
As with everything related to narcissists, breaking up with them doesn’t come without consequences. Narcissists are professionals at playing with your emotions and controlling your actions.
Even though you might assume that they would finally let you live your life when they break up with you, the reality is often far different. Sometimes, they can’t accept losing their supply, which then makes them resort to different manipulation techniques.
I guess the game isn’t over when you want it to be, and it takes a while before a narcissist fully embraces the fact that the two of you are no longer together.
So, let’s see what you can expect when a narcissist leaves you alone. How complicated are things going to get?
6 things that happen when a narcissist leaves you alone
If you’ve been involved with a narcissist, you already know what this person is like. He has no empathy and doesn’t feel bad about hurting your feelings. As a matter of fact, the worse he makes you feel, the better he feels about himself.
A narcissist only cares about himself and does things that feed his ego. He acts all tough and confident when, in reality, he can’t live without his supply.
So, even though he makes you feel like you need him, the truth is that he depends on you. That’s why he can’t stand being alone and moves from one victim to another.
When you break up with him, you may start to believe that you’re finally free. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but nothing comes easy with a narcissist.
1. He starts spreading lies about you
A narcissist has no shame, so when people start telling you how he’s spreading lies about you, don’t be surprised. This is one of the first things he’ll do when your relationship ends.
The truth is he doesn’t want to see you happy. He doesn’t want to see you doing better without him, so he’ll do everything he can to sabotage your life.
The easiest way to do this is to start talking badly about you to your friends, family, or even coworkers. He’ll do his best to convince others just how terrible a person you are and, of course, he’ll present himself as the victim.
You may be surprised when you find out what’s going on. You assumed that your relationship was over and that you were finally free from him. But a narcissist doesn’t give up easily, and you’re about to experience that firsthand.
2. He hoovers you
Narcissists are known for their manipulation tactics. They put you through the cycle of their toxic behavior before you even realize what’s happening.
So, when you end a relationship with someone who suffers from NPD, the chances are that he’ll want to get you back only to put you through the same torture.
First of all, he’ll start apologizing and give you all these false promises about how he’s willing to change. Then, he’ll love-bomb you with gifts, compliments, and words of affection just to grab your attention.
He may even start emotionally blackmailing you by telling you that he’s going through a certain life crisis and that he needs your support. Maybe his dog is dying, or one of his close family members is sick. Those are just lies he’s willing to use to get you closer to him.
This whole manipulation technique is called hoovering, and it can be extremely hard to escape, especially since he already succeeded in gaining control over you in the past.
3. He’ll start stalking you
If you don’t do the right thing and block a narcissist as soon as you end a relationship with him, be sure that he’s going to stalk you.
He’s going to show up at places where you currently are because he’ll see the location on your social media. He may even get this info from your friends’ posts, so it’s a good idea for them to block him as well.
This man knows no boundaries and won’t have a problem with testing your limits. He’ll do things you don’t expect him to and show up at events uninvited just to get your attention.
His stalking can become so serious that you won’t feel comfortable using social media at all because you’ll be afraid of him.
4. He tries to turn your friends and family against you
He’s aware that your friends and family are your biggest support system. He knows that they’re the ones who keep you sane now that you’ve escaped him. That’s why he wants to turn them against you.
He wants to bring you to the point where you’ll have no one to rely on. If that happens, he’s sure that you’re going to come running back to him.
If you get a text from your bestie asking you about the rumors you’ve been spreading about her, it’s probably your narcissistic ex who reached out to her and spread the lies. He has no mercy and will do everything he can to ruin your life completely before he gives up on you.
5. He uses different manipulative techniques to get you back
From playing the victim to gaslighting you to the point where he’s trying to convince you that he never did any of the things you accuse him of – this man will try everything to get you back.
Manipulation is his middle name, and he’s not ashamed to use his skills to fulfill his final goal. He simply can’t stand the idea of seeing you happy and wants to put you through another toxic cycle to see if you’ll then be willing to stay with him.
Be aware that it will be extremely hard to resist him, especially if you still haven’t recovered from everything he already put you through. He’ll be convincing and will try to get your attention however he can.
But bear in mind what he did to you the first time. Things can only get worse with him because he’s not the type of man who’s willing to change.
6. Eventually, he’ll look for a new supply
When a narcissist leaves you alone, he’ll first do everything he can to make your life without him more complicated. But eventually, he’ll realize that he’s wasting too much time on you and will simply move on to the next supply.
I already mentioned that he can’t be single and needs someone to boost his ego. So, he’s definitely not willing to spend all this time trying to manipulate you into trusting him one more time when it’s much easier to look for someone who’s unaware of what he’s actually like.
He’ll put on his best mask and bring his A-game. In no time, he’ll successfully manipulate someone else and get that person to trust him.
Unfortunately, he’s going to put her through the same hell he put you through because that’s what he does best.