We had potential – we really did.
Maybe we weren’t one of those couples who knew each other so well that they sensed what the other person would say next, but we weren’t that bad either.
We loved and respected each other and I give us a medal for that.
You never made me feel like you didn’t care about me and I tried to never make you feel like you needed to change. We valued our personalities and tried to embrace the relationship we had.
But at one point, it all fell apart.
If someone has to ask me when the moment was when things started to crumble, I honestly wouldn’t know what to reply.
It feels like it happened all of a sudden and it caught me off guard.
I had no idea what was going on, but there I was, packing my bags and getting ready to live a life on my own.
I truly believe that we could’ve been like one of those happy couples. We were always so optimistic about the future.
We had our plans and goals, and we hoped that one day all of those would turn into reality.
But at one point, out of the blue, you chose to leave and I stood alone in our apartment hoping that your words were only a joke.
I thought that maybe you were messing with me and that it’s all part of a bigger plan.
But once you started to pack your bags, it all became real.
You never told me your reason for leaving. You never told me why you were abandoning all of our dreams and plans.
Instead, you simply packed your stuff and told me that you had to go.
And you packed them so fast that I couldn’t even ask you what was going on.
It now feels like you already had things packed beforehand, as in a few minutes’ time, you were gone. Out of our place and out of my life.
The first few months after you left were the hardest. All of those happy couples reminded me of the things we could’ve had.
I was totally alone after years of being with you.
Now, I had no one except myself and it took me some time to learn to live that way.
I moved out of our apartment. I just couldn’t wake up in the same bed you had slept in. It felt like torture
In one moment, I was completely happy, then the next, our castle of safety was not so safe anymore.
I felt lonely and abandoned, and it felt like you were the only one who could do something about it.
But, you were long gone and no matter how hard I called your name, you didn’t answer.
I spent days thinking about the reasons for you choosing to leave, but nothing seemed a good enough excuse.
Maybe you were tired of me and simply couldn’t live your life with me anymore. But on the flip side, you never told me that.
You never made me feel like I was a burden to you. If you at least said it once, then I would have my reason and it would be easier to find closure.
But because you never told me that, I kept looking for another reason.
Maybe you chose to leave because I wasn’t making you happy anymore. Maybe I was tiresome for your already tired soul.
But again, you never told me that either. On the contrary, the night before you left, you spoke of how happy you were.
You said that you wanted our future to come as fast as possible as you want to wake up next to me every morning for the rest of our lives.
Honestly, those words didn’t go very well with your actions.
They were on opposite sides of the spectrum and that’s why I was so surprised when you told me that you were leaving me.
Things didn’t make any sense and I had no idea how we even came to this.
So, I kept looking for reasons, and over and over again. I couldn’t find one that fit our situation.
You never communicated to me that we were in trouble or that you didn’t like something about me.
It all seemed to run smoothly until that fatal day when you chose to leave and I had no right to say anything.
I tried calling you, but no answer. I tried texting you, but no replies.
Like a ghost, you completely disappeared from my life and I had no idea what to do next.
My closure was nowhere to be found and you kept ignoring me.
That was the hardest part – when a person who you love so much doesn’t make an effort to pick up the phone and openly tell you, “This is why I left you…”
It hurts like hell but you learn to live with it.
I know it because I’ve learned to live without you. It was painful, but I made it work.
There were some nights filled with tears and days when I couldn’t get out of bed, but at one point, it all became just right.
I’ve moved on after you and I’m no longer looking for my closure. I now know that you could never give me that, even if I begged you.
But still, some days when I wake up, I think about us. I still believe that we could’ve been like one of those happy couples.
We could’ve been satisfied with our life. We could’ve make it work.
But I guess that you never believed in that as you chose to leave.
Unexpectedly, it hit you and you reckoned that leaving me was the best thing you could do.
I’ll believe that this is your version of the story and that you decided to leave because it was best for you.
I guess you never wondered what was best for me…