Love was blooming.
He seemed like he was the one and you had been single for so long that it simply seemed to be the next logical step after dating – a relationship.
You thought that it was love.
Wasn’t it? You’re starting to question what you once called love in this relationship and now that you have been together for some time, it doesn’t seem like it anymore.
Even after all the doubts and sadness that you have endured because of this relationship, you are still holding on to it for reasons only known to you.
Is your relationship meant to last? Is it really a committed long-term relationship? Or is your relationship doomed to fail?
1. You or your partner haven’t healed from the past
The past can be a swine when you don’t leave it where it belongs.
Of course, sometimes you are unable to forget old wounds and it’s very hard to heal from everything that happened.
It is either past traumatic experiences or a relationship from your past that has made you question love altogether.
If you or your partner haven’t healed and moved on from a relationship that was toxic in your past, then you will find it quite hard to be happy.
You might be wondering why, but the truth is that you are bringing all those bad patterns into your current relationship, and thinking about any past partner doesn’t make it any easier.
2. You’re thinking about other people
We’re human beings and it’s quite normal to appreciate a beautiful person.
The problem starts when you or your partner think about sleeping or just being with someone else.
It doesn’t automatically mean that either of you would go after your desires, but imagine if your partner kept on thinking about this person while he was with you.
Of course, this is going to break someone’s heart. You two should talk this out for sure, but if it keeps happening, your relationship is doomed to fail.
3. Someone cheated
While we’re on the topic of other people, why not address cheating as a huge sign that your relationship won’t last.
You can forgive your partner if they cheated on you at one point in the relationship, but let’s be honest, you will always be bothered by it!
Was she better? Was he happier? And all those other questions that will keep on popping up in your head.
You might love him, but if he cheated on you, your relationship with him won’t ever be able to be the same as before the deed was done.
4. You don’t like yourself
Being insecure brings a lot of difficulties with itself. It can make you jealous and it can make you question everything you have with your partner.
Not liking yourself can get you to the point where you’re constantly looking for reassurance because you are not able to get it from yourself.
In this situation, you need to be single and figure this out.
You have to love yourself before you will ever be able to love someone unconditionally.
5. Your values differ
A difference in opinion and a difference in values is not the same.
You can have a discussion about which movie is better, or what color is the most beautiful, because it’s OK if you have different opinions but values are a different thing.
You can’t expect a man who thinks that marriage is nonsense to change his mind and marry you one day.
You can’t expect him to want children one day if he simply couldn’t care less about having them now.
These are just a couple of examples that are quite important in your relationship.
Values are a crucial part of everyone’s life and how we decide to live it, so if your values don’t align, your relationship is doomed to fail.
6. You’re scared to ask for more
You might have even tried before.
You tried talking to him about your wants and needs and how you simply need more. More attention, more love, more affection, more of his time.
You told him that because you wanted to work on your relationship together but even if he said that he would change, he never did.
He might have even flipped out at that exact moment and now you’re left scared of asking for more from him.
7. You’re done trying
It has been a long time since you two tried to fix the relationship you have.
You tried to work on it, tried to get through the tough times, but now you’re not even trying anymore.
You and your partner simply don’t feel like doing any more for your relationship.
Therapy seems too excessive but at the same time, you have had the same conversations over these years one too many times.
So why try to talk about anything if there is no fixing certain things?
That’s why you’re both stuck in an unfulfilling relationship that has left you yearning for single life.
8. You’re holding on to the memories
The spark is gone.
The spark you two had in your relationship at the very beginning has been gone for a long time now but you’re still holding on to those memories, believing that they’re enough to make you stay.
Believe me when I tell you they’re not! Holding on to the past, when you two were making each other happy, a time when you both tried your hardest for your partner, those times are over and holding on to the hope that you might get it back somewhere in the future is a losing game.
9. You hold grudges
After apologizing and talking about any issues, you and your partner might seem to forgive each other but you still hold on to grudges.
That is anything but a healthy relationship, to be completely honest with you.
You are supposed to forgive your partner and move on with your life if he doesn’t make the same mistakes again.
Instead, you two might be bringing things up at random times but still pretend like everything’s OK.
This will never stop, so you two might as well break up right away.
10. You love selfishly
Loving selfishly means that you are just taking from the relationship and from your partner.
Without even realizing it, you might be demanding proof for love in the most selfish ways.
If you or your partner does this, your relationship won’t last too long because you might be crossing a whole lot of lines.
One of you will get fed up with the neediness of the other and there is no saving your relationship after that.
If you truly want to change this, you can try to talk to your partner about his selfishness or try to be aware of your own patterns.
Working on these issues could be the best way to save your relationship!
11. You badmouth your partner
How can you expect a relationship to work if you keep badmouthing your partner to your friends and family?
He might be doing the same thing and talking about you behind your back to the people in his life too.
Your friends and family view this person as someone very bad for you, because of all the little things he has done that you told them about.
He might also be doing this and it is equivalent to lying.
You won’t talk to each other about your issues, but will gladly go behind each other’s back to talk to others? A relationship like that will not last.
12. You can’t compromise
Loving someone who can’t compromise with you is a huge problem.
Someone who isn’t able to compromise with you is someone who isn’t going to accommodate any of your needs, no matter how important they are to you.
What happens is that they undermine everything you are expecting from the relationship and you will never be able to express yourself.
This is quite an issue because relationships can’t function like that.
You have to compromise on things. You have to be able to loosen up for your partner, but also be strong enough to stand up for yourself.
There is nothing better than that perfect middle.