When you’re emotionally broken, the entire world loses its color. You’re numb one minute, just to experience overflowing emotions the next.
Your emotions either leave you empty or a complete wreck. There’s no in-between.
For all of this, there’s a reason. You know that the people you’ve surrounded yourself with for so long are people who didn’t know how to show you kindness.
You gave everything to them without leaving anything for yourself. The entire time you were so selfless and they continued to take everything you could offer.
Your parents never knew just how much you needed them to compliment you.
When you’re broken emotionally, you remember an easier time when your parents were proud of you for the smallest achievements. However, now it seems like you can’t do anything right.
They’re your parents and you love them for everything they’ve done to keep you alive but you’re breaking yourself apart for their approval.
You want them to be proud of their daughter and everything she achieved in her life but you also know that they won’t acknowledge it. So when you meet someone new, the first things you look for are words of validation.
People listen to your stories with so much interest and you thrive on their attention. So you keep those people around, even though you know they probably wouldn’t be there for you if you needed help.
You know that you should probably look for more in friendships but it’s hard when you’re emotionally broken.
You don’t trust people as much as you probably should. Telling someone your deepest, darkest secrets seems like an actual crime.
Your mind convinces you that everyone will leave you one way or another. They’ll walk out of your life when you need them the most so why would you want to work harder?
You think that friends are there to betray you even though their temporary involvement in your life brings you joy. You welcome even the smallest amount of happiness that you can get.
Your friends seem to be aware of this. However, they’re the only people you look to for comfort.
Your best friend is the first person who’ll remember to call you when things don’t seem right or when you stop replying to text messages; much different from the people who only use you for their own benefit.
She knows when you’re going through a hard time. You’re grateful to her but you also have the feeling like you don’t deserve her.
You feel like she’d be so much happier without you in the picture. So many people have already abandoned you that you wouldn’t hold it against her if she also decided that it was for the best.
Other people make it seem so easy to walk out of your life.
That’s what broke you emotionally. That’s exactly why you’re currently going through this much pain.
Everyone left you broken and your emotions are all over the place right now. Those people showed you that you weren’t worthy of their time.
Especially him. He made it seem like the easiest thing in the world.
Being emotionally broken isn’t a choice. Others watch you break apart right in front of their eyes and either they don’t react at all or they thrive on it.
That’s exactly what he did. He thrived on the idea of breaking you apart even if he wasn’t aware of it.
Going through emotional manipulation is extremely painful but it doesn’t take even half as long to break someone emotionally as it does to heal them.
When you met him, he treated you so kindly. He treated you as if you’d break at any moment so he made you believe that he was your safe space.
He made you believe that he was the one person with whom you could be yourself. This man made you trust him so easily because you were so desperate for kindness.
You ignored the red flags even when your friends started to beg you to walk away from him. You didn’t see them the way they did.
They saw those red flags screaming at you but all you saw was his comforting and soft embrace that would give you shelter when the world started to work against you.
He used your softness and he broke you apart. He broke you into this emotional wreck you are now.
You trusted him, so when he started to show you that a man truly is a woman’s biggest threat, you shook with a never-before-seen fear.
He broke you. He left you to fend for yourself and made no move to help you when you begged him to love you.
You asked him to love you again and told him that you’d try harder.
Back then, you didn’t know that it wasn’t your fault. So now that he’s gone, you’re left with some type of numbness that makes you question your own sanity.
That’s what men are capable of doing, especially to the women who love them so selflessly.
The one thing you need to remember is that the fact you’re emotionally broken doesn’t define you unless you let it.
It’s your thick skin that keeps you safe right now. But the people who truly love you can see through the cracks of the soft and sensitive person you actually are.
You’re more cautious of people and emotions don’t really come naturally to you anymore. However, you can’t let yourself be controlled by your past.
It has made you stronger but the only way you can embrace that same strength is if you don’t let your past be a part of your future.
Beat everything he wanted you to be by going back to being the soft human being you once were.
This doesn’t mean that you’d let the same thing happen again. You’re so much smarter but don’t break yourself down even more, as you deserve better than that.
By letting yourself be controlled by the past, you’re actually allowing yourself to become just like him. Instead, learn from it and let other people show you that there are better ones out there in the world.
There’s someone else who’ll take your broken emotional state and he’ll help you turn it into your biggest strength.
However, you can’t meet that new someone if you hold on to the people who broke you emotionally. Build a wall, create boundaries, and never let them have that type of power over you again.
Healing from all of this will take time but it’ll be so worth it once you’re ready to let go completely.
So don’t give up. Please don’t give up. Even when you’re numb, just remember to never give up.
You’re doing so well.