I now know that I put too much trust in you. I gave too much of myself to you, thinking that you’re the kind of guy I needed.
To be honest, I do that a lot. I place my trust in people, hoping that at least one of them won’t fail my expectations.
As time passes, most of them show me that I was wrong, and once again, that I’ve made a wrong step.
But you were different. The lesson that you taught me was more powerful than any that I learned before you.
In the beginning, something powerful pulled me closer to you. I literally felt drawn to you.
Like there was a wire between us that kept us connected to each other.
You were a nice guy, I can’t say anything against that. Smart and kind. Different from other guys I’ve met.
But still, there was one thing that was the same: You were never there for me.
I still don’t understand how this was possible. Everything you did felt right except that one thing that kept me awake at night. Whenever I needed you, you were never there to help me.
You felt so distant, and no matter how hard I tried to reach you, I always failed.
I started thinking that there was something wrong with me.
That I was the cause of the problem and that maybe if I changed something about myself, we’d be a perfect match for each other.
So, I lowered my expectations and gave you one more chance.
I tried to understand where you were coming from, but no matter what I did, the thought that you’d most probably leave me when times get hard couldn’t leave my mind.
I knew that you’d never stick and fight for our relationship because you never made effort to understand me.
Yes, you showered me with gifts, you were romantic and committed, but you never knew how to be there for me when I needed you the most.
And that was the most important thing I looked for in a relationship.
I can live without your gifts. I can live without those romantic gestures. But I can’t take it that I call your name and all I get is silence in return.
So, instead of having someone by my side, I always felt alone. I was in a relationship, but I missed the support that it was supposed to bring me.
I never asked you to fix me. Instead, I wanted you to be there next to me, holding my hand while I fix myself. But I guess that it was too much for you.
At that moment, I realized that you were just a lesson God sent me from above. You were the one destined to teach me that people can be amazing, but they still won’t be our cup of tea because they miss that something we’re looking for.
I remember how my family blamed me because I left you.
My phone didn’t stop ringing and one by one, all of them told me that I was a fool for letting you go.
In the beginning, I blamed myself. I thought that I had made a mistake and would be sorry for it sometime in the future.
But guess what? That time never came.
Thinking about you made me realize that we weren’t made for each other.
By other people’s standards, you were made of gold. But gold wasn’t what I was looking for.
After that, I stopped trying to explain my actions.
I stopped giving them the reasons the two of us could never work because I knew they would never understand.
I accepted the fact that you were my lesson.
Through you, God taught me that I’m not supposed to love people just because other people think that it’s right.
I’m not supposed to sacrifice my wishes just because those around me think that they have every right to control my life.
I’m a woman who knows what she wants. I have my standards and I’m not going to lower them for anyone.
You were never there for me, and even though you gave me a lot of other things, you failed to give me the one thing my heart desired and needed.
Because of that, I had to walk away from you.
Because of that, I had to see you as a lesson because I know that even God wouldn’t be happy if I stayed with you.
Forsaking myself for the sake of others isn’t a thing I do.
I’m strong enough to leave a man who fails to meet my expectations because I know that the right one will come.
And if I stayed with you and pretended you were my Mr. Right, I’d only be postponing finally meeting the one who’s meant to be mine.
I know that you seemed perfect in the eyes of others, but I also know that I would blame myself for the rest of my life if I stayed with you just because people around me expected me to.
I knew what I wanted in a man. And I knew that you weren’t that.
So, to all those girls who are overriding themselves, trying to please others –please stop.
If you know that it doesn’t feel right to be with a certain guy, it’s better to walk away than live a future filled with regret and despair.
We all have lessons that we’re supposed to go through in life. People won’t understand some of them, but that’s not your problem.
The most important thing is that you know what you want and you never settle for less.
For me, you were a man who was never there and you were just a lesson.