I understand what you’re going through right now – I’ve walked in the same shoes for a while. I’ve felt the same pain you’re currently feeling.
The pain of giving yourself to the fullest but never getting anything in return. The pain of getting your hopes up the moment some nice guy walks into your life only to end up disappointed.
I know how much it hurts when all of your friends are in happy relationships while you’re all alone, with no one to hold your hand. At one point, you start thinking that something must be wrong with you.
You keep blaming yourself for every heartbreak, every failure, for every broken relationship. You keep thinking that you’ll never be good enough for the right man since all of them seem to walk away sooner or later.
Every night before you fall asleep, you pray to God to finally give you a person you deserve. Someone to share your happiness with you and be there when things get hard.
You’re in desperate need of someone who’ll love you. And you truly think that your life sucks only because you have no one to share it with.
This constant need to find the right man is actually what’s keeping you in the same spot. You’re stuck, unable to move on and lead your life the way you deserve because you’re too focused on the idea of getting yourself a partner.
I’m telling you this because I know all too well how you’re feeling right now. I also know how bad you want to get yourself a man to love you because you don’t know how to properly love yourself.
You’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never be happy until you find a man. You’ve kept repeating to yourself that you won’t ever feel satisfied with your life until you’re finally in a relationship.
And that’s precisely why you’ve been stuck in the same place for years. You’re constantly dwelling on the idea of waiting for the right man to the point where you don’t think that you can lead a life without him.
I’ve made the same mistake. I used to believe I could never be happy unless I found someone to love me.
And with that idea in mind, I kept wasting my time. I was too focused on the goal of meeting the right man that I forgot to enjoy the life right in front of me.
I no longer had any idea of who I was. As years went by, I realized that I’d forgotten how to take care of myself.
I ignored my hobbies, my wishes and dreams. Honestly, I couldn’t even remember how it felt to love the person I was inside and out.
Then at one point, I realized that no one could fall in love with me until I learned to love myself. I realized that I had to become my own best friend first so that everyone else could finally see the beauty in me.
After that, I changed my life completely. I was no longer desperately looking for a man by going out every night thinking that I’ll meet the right guy in a crowded local bar.
I’d kept obsessively swiping through all of the dating apps, assured that’s where my dream guy was hiding. Left and right, like and dislike, I spent my days doing that until I finally decided it was enough.
I was wasting my own energy on something that wasn’t making me happy, so it was time to change that.
Instead of pulling out my best flirting techniques with every possible guy I met, I decided to spend all that time learning how to love myself.
I rediscovered parts of my personality that I didn’t even know existed. I learned something new every day and, instead of chasing after guys, I started chasing after my dreams.
My life finally started to look the way I’d always wanted it to.
I finally had enough time for the things I loved doing. With a cup of coffee and a great book in my hand, I was rediscovering the world and everything hiding inside it.
I felt happy – a feeling I’d forgotten about a long time ago. I was no longer running after men and desperately wishing for them to like me.
Finally, I didn’t need their approval. I was good enough for myself.
And just like that, as I was too busy getting my life back on track, learning how to love myself, one of the greatest people walked into my life. At first, I didn’t even notice his presence as I was too busy making myself happy.
But as time went by, we started to spend more time together and I realized that I’d finally met the right man. Unexpectedly, while I wasn’t even looking for him.
He showed him why things never worked out with anyone else and most importantly, he proved to me that you can’t expect anyone to love you unless you love yourself.
The moment I felt happy with every single aspect of my body and soul, that’s when he appeared. I didn’t desperately need him to love me the way I did before. I wasn’t hopelessly waiting for him to walk into my life and change it for the better.
We’re still together and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but him. He’s truly the right man for me, the one I’d been looking for my whole life.
But what matters the most is that I now know I can survive without him, even if he decides to leave. I know my value and how strong I am, and I guess that’s what makes him love me even more.
You can’t expect others to give you love that you can’t give to yourself. You can’t expect them to magically change your life and help you grow as a person.
Instead, you should first figure out how to do that on your own. And only after that will you be able to attract the right man who won’t ever want to leave your side.
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