It was my decision to choose you. That’s solely on me. I take the blame for that. But I truly wanted us to make it.
I thought that you were my happily ever after. I believed in everything you said. I rejected the idea that everything you said was just half-truths and lies.
But I was stubborn. I didn’t think that falling in love with you would mean falling out of love with myself.
I didn’t believe a single word that my friends said about you. I told them they were wrong and that I was the only one who could see your real face.
And the truth is, I still believe that you’re going to be that person, someday. The sad part is that I finally realize that I wasn’t going to be the one to change you.
I never could do that. You had to want it for yourself first and then for us. Even though love was there and good intentions were there, they weren’t enough for us.
I simply wasn’t strong enough to fight for us forever. I couldn’t keep giving my love to you and receiving only your worst.
The thing that pains me is that I was pretending it wasn’t emotionally hurting me when it was.
Every time you had one of your bad days and when something was wrong in your life, I was the one who felt your pain.
Maybe I gave up too soon. Maybe someday you’ll finally change and become the man I wished you’d be all this time.
So that’s why I’m saying goodbye to my toxic half.
Even though you almost broke me, I forgive you for all of it.
But I know I won’t sit here and wait for you to change and become the person you need to be.
I won’t sit here and wait for you to show me the respect that I deserve.
I’m not going to be the only one who puts in all the effort and gives the best of herself and receives nothing in return.
It shouldn’t always be me who takes all the blame for every problem that surfaces in the relationship.
I wasn’t going to be liable for you. I couldn’t keep loving you for the both of us.
But the truth is, I fell for you hard and you fell for me too.
You can’t say that those gentle touches, warm hugs, and long cozy nights were fake and that you were pretending you didn’t want them.
The thing is, at the time I couldn’t see the truth that you weren’t ready to commit.
There’s a part of me that didn’t want to accept the fact that you were only using me.
The turning point was when you saw that I wasn’t just going with the flow – that I would openly confront and challenge your decisions.
That was the moment you stopped choosing me.
You stopped loving me because I stopped being convenient to you.
I’m not your puppet and I’ll never be one. And you did that because you don’t know how to love. You were my toxic half.
Your abuse and toxic behavior manifested in many ways. That’s when I started to question whether or not I should stay with you.
My self-esteem and mental health began to crumble and my feisty nature started fading away.
I became so insecure and angry for no particular reason because you made that way, my toxic half.
You broke me to pieces – the person who loved you the most in this world.
I chose to turn a blind eye to your lies and deceptions, and all those times you went behind my back.
I thought that those late-night messages were innocent and they meant nothing to you.
I believed that you knew how much it hurt me, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t have cared less about how I felt. You abandoned me.
Everything that was white to me suddenly turned black.
I questioned whether or not I was worthy of receiving unconditional love. Was I going crazy? Was I too clingy or too emotional?
In the process, I lost the most precious thing that I could lose: myself.
You did a good job of breaking me piece by piece each day. I know that I didn’t deserve any of this.
I didn’t deserve your manipulative behavior nor for you to control me.
I gave you so many second chances because I believe in people, but I couldn’t accept the fact that I loved you too much.
To my toxic half who almost broke me, I’m saying forever goodbye. I’m done damaging myself while waiting for you to change into a real man.
You’re the only one who’s responsible for your actions, not me.
I won’t allow you to suck me into your toxic behavior. I refuse to let you treat me like that.
I’ll never choose a toxic person again. I regained the power I lost when I was with you.
I’m done with people who only know how to abuse and manipulate others.
You kept me walking on eggshells and on edge. I’m not going to let another man do what you’ve done to me ever again.
One day you’ll realize what you lost. You’ll feel my absence. You’ll finally love me, only I won’t be there for you anymore.
Love isn’t pain. Love should empower you, it shouldn’t make you feel miserable and sad.
Even though you try to run from your past, you know you can’t hide all the skeletons in your closet.
Eventually, the past will come back to haunt you. And it will ruin you the same way you ruined me.
Finally, I choose myself and I’m saying forever goodbye to my toxic half who almost broke me!