All of us are sometimes negative, and there are disagreements in even the best relationships. Relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows, and there are a lot of bumps on the road to happiness. There will be hard times and painful moments in your relationship.
However, you have to know the difference between normal and toxic behavior. While there will be problems in your relationship that you can work on, toxic behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.
Of course, you want to fight for your love and put effort into the relationship when things aren’t going well; after all, relationships have to be nurtured and maintained.
Still, don’t overlook behavior that isn’t healthy because it will harm your mental health. Women in love often tend to justify or overlook some behavior that is simply toxic and they even jeopardize their well-being for the sake of tolerating toxic behavior.
Such behavior can make you doubt your own logic and perception. It can take away your dignity and ruin your confidence… maybe even suck the happiness and energy out of you.
So, if you don’t want this to happen to you and you wish to have a happy, fulfilling life, don’t put up with toxic behavior such as the ones I’m going to mention.
1. Don’t let anyone control you
There are many different forms of control, but they are all equally toxic. Don’t let anyone impose their own ideas and opinions on you. You shouldn’t allow anyone to forbid you from expressing your likes and dislikes.
If your partner wants you to behave, talk, or dress in a certain way that he likes, leave that toxic relationship. Control can also be in the form of gaslighting, which is equally toxic, or someone might even try to make you believe that your perception of reality is wrong, and that is unacceptable.
If someone tries to control you, ensure that you make it clear that you’re not going to put up with that. Such a relationship could only ruin your self-esteem and it could also make you doubt everything you thought you knew.
Some people will want to completely change you so you would dress, behave, and talk the way that suits them best. Don’t do that for anyone. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are, and you will be.
Don’t let anyone try to control you. It will make you forget who you are and you’ll become a nervous wreck who doesn’t know what to think if not told.
2. Don’t let anyone verbally abuse you
You might think it’s innocent, but name-calling is a toxic behavior that you should never tolerate. So, maybe you did something wrong, but whatever it is, it’s no excuse for someone to verbally abuse you.
Maybe you said something that hurt them or forgot to do something they told you to do or maybe you even forgot all about their birthday.
Still, you should know that none of this is an excuse for them to verbally abuse you. Don’t let anyone take one little mistake you made and use it to list all of your mistakes from the past; that is exactly what verbal abuse is all about.
Those who truly love you will never emphasize your flaws or weaknesses and they will never judge you because of them. Instead, people who care about you will help you fix the mistakes you made and overcome your flaws. They will never call you names just because you did something wrong.
Don’t let anyone treat you like you aren’t good enough. You are an amazing person, and those who care about you will see that. Those who don’t, however, don’t deserve to be a part of your life in the first place.
3. Don’t let anyone’s negativity affect you
There are positive people who bring about happiness and kindness wherever they go. All they leave behind when they leave is the feeling of joy. You are left feeling good about yourself after talking to them.
However, there are very negative people who seem to suck all the energy from those around them. Such people leave you feeling drained of your positivity… and all you’re left with is negative thoughts.
Such negative people can only prevent you from growing and they will harm your mental health. You don’t need such negativity in your life.
That doesn’t mean that you should leave a friend who is having problems, however. A lot of people confuse excessive negativity with when someone is simply depressed about something. But someone who is always negative and feeds your mind with only negative thoughts is toxic. The only thing that could happen is that you get affected by their negativity.
If you want your life to be happy, surround yourself with positive people who always see the bright side of life. Overly negative people will only drag you down and they will prevent you from enjoying the beautiful things in life.
4. Don’t be around people who lack compassion
You need people in your life who are able to feel compassion. Life is hard enough without surrounding yourself with people who are incapable of feeling empathy.
Such people will never be able to understand what you are going through and naturally, they won’t be there for you when you need them because they don’t feel compassion.
They will never treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve. You need to have kind people in your life who will respect you and understand you.
Don’t make life more difficult by surrounding yourself with those who have no regard for your needs and feelings, as such people will never be able to help you when you need them.
So, surround yourself with compassionate people who will always try to understand what you are going through; only then will you have the happy life you want to have.
5. Don’t let anyone threaten you
You know how it feels when you let someone in on a little secret, and then they threaten you with exposing it. Such people are extremely toxic, and you should stay away from them.
When it happens that someone threatens you, make sure it’s their last visit to your life. Kick them out of it and hang up a sign that says threats aren’t welcome.
This is very bad behavior. So, if someone threatens to use your secrets against you ‘or else’, make sure they never get that chance again. You need people you can confide in.
Good people will never use your secrets against you, even if you stop being friends. Something you said in confidence should stay between you and the person you told it to. They should respect you enough to keep your secrets no matter what happens. But not everyone is like that.
You’ll run across bad people who will use threats to get what they want. Don’t let them into your life ever again. After all, it could damage your mental health.
6. Don’t let anyone make a scapegoat out of you
Whether we like it or not, some people are simply deceitful, selfish, and manipulative. They are never ready to take responsibility for their words or actions. No matter how many times they hurt you or make mistakes, they never apologize to you.
What’s more, they will find a way to put the blame on you. You’ll end up being the one who feels responsible for what happened.
Such people are very toxic, and it isn’t possible to have a happy life when you have them in it. If they happen to find their way into your life anyway, show them the door. Don’t let them make a scapegoat out of you or refuse to take the blame.
7. Don’t let anyone judge you
People who are toxic will judge you and make you feel like you’re beneath them. Don’t let anyone speak to you like they are better than you. Not only could it hurt your self-esteem, it also isn’t true.
Such people need to judge you in order to feel better about themselves, and that’s sad. Of course, you should hear people out when they think you’re doing something wrong but never let them judge you.
They never walked a mile in your shoes, and they don’t know what you’ve been through. Even if they do, they don’t understand it. They would rather choose to judge you than to try to understand you.
You are on your own path to happiness… and no one has the right to judge you for the decisions you make on that path, even if they are the wrong decisions. Who are they to judge you?
Now that you know what toxic behavior you don’t need in your life, make sure to remove such people from it. Even if you care about those people, remember that you’ll never have a happy life if you keep putting up with such toxic behavior.
Strong women would rather be alone than in the company of toxic people. After all, you need to enjoy your own company and be careful who you let into your life. Someone might make your life happier, but someone else might suck the happiness right out of you.