After years and years of giving your full self to someone, “This is not going to work out,” pops out of nowhere.
You are left alone, thinking that the world is going to end.
Nothing seems to make sense anymore and you are sure that your life will never be the same as it was before.
Your happiness was stolen from you with that stupid simple sentence no one likes to hear. What now?
How to continue with your life when the person you loved the most decided that you are not worthy of their time.
A month ago, he asked you what you wanted your wedding to look like. Two days ago, he sent you a text that doesn’t make any sense.
Is this even real? You must be dreaming. When you wake up, everything will be the way it should, right?
Then reality hits you hard, and you realize that things have changed and that they will never be the way they were before.
He was ‘the one‘, but what to do when ‘the one’ turns into ‘the one that got away’?
What to do when you wake up, take your phone, and there is no ‘good morning’ message.
How to behave if you see him in your favorite coffee shop? Who to call when your project succeeds if he was the only one who supported you?
Grief becomes the only emotion you can feel. Like life wasn’t hard enough before he left you.
I know that it seems like there is no hope. All of us have been there.
However, you need to remember that it will pass and that at some point, everything will be fine again. The question is how to get there.
This post-breakup guide will help you heal and find relief from something that feels impossible to solve.
Try to avoid any type of communication with your ex
Completely cutting off the person who meant the world to you might seem like the hardest thing you have to do.
However, you need to be aware that this is good for you.
You are still at the beginning of the grieving process and at this point, you would be delighted if you two got back together.
This might seem like a good thing but it would only be a temporary solution.
The chances are that you two would end up in the same place in a few months’ time.
In order to save yourself unnecessary pain, the first step is to avoid any source of communication.
Unfollow his Facebook account, delete his messages, and don’t even think about stalking his Instagram profile.
Seeing him happy when your world is crashing down will just elongate the time it will take you to heal.
Cutting ties is the first step toward a happy ending.
Cry it out
Don’t bottle up your emotions. You’ve been hurt, and it is completely normal to feel a roller coaster of emotions.
You feel angry, sad, hurt, broken, and empty. Your feelings are the way your body is trying to cope with everything that happened.
Let them out! Find something which makes you feel better; write a letter or a poem, cry, yell in the shower, listen to sad songs that make your heart break even more.
At this stage, anything is acceptable.
As time passes, you will feel better and this will happen only once you’ve had a healthy reaction to expressing your emotions.
Breakups are hard and no one expects you to smile or laugh through them. It is acceptable to cry your eyes out.
Think about it as a way of letting the bad emotions get out of your system, which will create more space for positive ones.
Accept that you two are not together anymore
An important step in the process of change and improvement is acceptance.
Once you make it clear to yourself that you two are not together anymore, and that it just didn’t work out, you have made a huge step toward a happier place.
Avoid thinking about what could’ve been different if you two were still together.
That doesn’t matter anymore as those times are behind you. Instead, focus on the future and the stage of your life where you will again feel satisfied and happy.
Appreciate your emotions
No matter how you feel, don’t ever forget that it is normal and completely acceptable to feel the way you do.
Different people deal with emotions differently and this makes them react differently.
No matter whether you feel like an empty canvas that was once painted with tons of colors or like an angry book whose pages are torn, remember that it is OK to feel any kind of way.
Accept your mosaic of emotions as they are what made you the person you are today.
They helped you love, laugh, and succeed. Trust me, they will help you heal too!
When we find ourself in a relationship, we tend to change and adapt to the person next to us.
Sometimes, it can be done subconsciously and you are not even aware of it.
After a breakup, you are on your own again, so try to think about everything YOU love.
Engage in all of the activities you enjoyed once or even do something new that you wanted to try for ages but just never did.
This is your time to shine and enjoy the things that make you happy.
Think about what your life before the relationship was like and try to remember something you really enjoyed doing.
You could make a list of thirty interesting things you would like to try and do one thing every day for a month.
The journey to rediscovering yourself may take a while but you will be proud of it once you finally reach a place where you turn into the main character of your life.
Don’t rush into another relationship
Even if you feel like you’re over your ex and that you have completely healed, don’t rush into another relationship.
If you find yourself in a new one too quickly, the chances are that that one will not work out either.
Instead of hurrying, give yourself some space and time.
You are not missing out on anything and you will know when it’s the right time to enter the dating world again.
Have a conversation with yourself and understand what you really want from your next relationship.
When you set yourself goals for this, it’s more likely for you to avoid unnecessary attempts with guys who are not what you are looking for.
Grief is a logical step after a breakup and all of us have experienced it.
It doesn’t mean that you are weak or a coward, it is just the way we react to something which was not a part of our plan, such as a breakup.
Don’t beat yourself up, but instead focus on everything that the future holds.
The world is a mysterious place and you never know what awaits you around the corner.