It can be really challenging to accept your partner or be in a relationship with someone who is afraid of being emotionally vulnerable.
While some have no problem expressing their emotions and letting people in, others have a hard time making their feelings known.
But why? Why is it so hard to let people in, especially for men who are deemed by society as cold and emotionless creatures?
So what do you do when you stumble upon a guy who struggles to open up emotionally? Can you even connect with him on a deeper level? Is it possible for him to break down the barriers he’s created over the years?
And funny enough, many women tend to be attracted to these types of men. The truth is, most women deal with emotionally unavailable men on a daily basis.
You might think that you can change and save them, but they have to realize themselves that they need to change. You can’t help someone who doesn’t accept that he’s emotionally unavailable.
So these are the reasons why your guy struggles to open up emotionally:
1. Fear of rejection
Most guys ask themselves this question when they like a girl: What if I open up emotionally to her and she rejects me?
Those what-if questions are the worst. They hold us back in many situations and because of them, we never really achieve our full potential.
It may sound silly to you, but most guys have this innate fear of rejection. What if they’re not good enough for you?
What if you find someone better than him? All these thoughts race through a guy’s mind when he really likes a girl.
He sees opening up to a girl as a huge risk. He’s not sure and can’t be sure how the girl will react once he opens up.
Maybe he’s afraid of sharing a part of himself that he doesn’t like, and that can be a truly scary thing for a lot of guys.
Often, that fear arises because guys don’t open up that often and as a consequence of that, never learn to cope with the feeling of rejection.
2. Patriarchal habits die hard
Even though we live in modern times where equality is heavily emphasized, patriarchy still plays a significant role in society.
Guys have been told all of their lives not to show their true emotions. It will make them look weak and less “macho.” That’s something no man wants to experience ever.
They’re taught from day one to hold and hide their feelings from others.
But the thing is, as they grow older and reach a certain age, they realize that it was all false.
Nevertheless, it’s an antiquated notion that shouldn’t be passed down from generation to generation.
But it has certainly left deep scars on modern-day men who are afraid to open up emotionally.
3. Some bad past experience
Everyone has their own bad past experience that caused them to build their own walls. Memories are a powerful tool.
If a guy had a bad experience with another girl before he got the chance to meet you, chances are that he’s afraid to open up again emotionally.
Maybe the girl rejected him or did something wrong, so that’s why he’s a closed book now.
You may have noticed that it doesn’t take too long for guys to shut down completely.
All it takes is one bad experience and he’ll make sure that it never happens again.
4. They’re afraid of being vulnerable
Maybe you think that you have found a guy unlike others, but as soon as your relationship starts getting real and serious, he shuts down.
That might happen because he’s afraid of being vulnerable.
He doesn’t want to be put in a position when he needs to open up about his deep feelings for you.
For whatever reason, guys don’t like to be put in such an uncomfortable position.
They’ll do anything they can to avoid talking about their emotions and feelings.
To them, talking about those things is like ice-skating, you never know when you’re going to fall.
They always want to have control of the situation and that’s something they don’t have when they’re feeling vulnerable.
Some guys work on that problem alone and grow as a person, while others need an extra push to figure out how to deal with being vulnerable.
5. They’re out of touch with their emotions
The simple truth is that some guys don’t understand their own emotions enough to open up.
For those who are taught to hide their feelings, finding a way to express them in a healthy and proper way can be really tricky.
He might not even have had the chance to properly figure out what he’s feeling about you, let alone to express those emotions.
If he can’t understand his emotions, there’s no way that he can open up emotionally to you or anyone else, for that matter.
6. Some guys prefer to let their actions speak
Everyone’s heard of the expression that actions speak louder than words. And the truth is, a lot of guys tend to live by that.
He may not open up to you with words, but he’ll certainly try to prove it to you – but that’s if he’s emotionally mature enough.
Part of this goes back to my story that men are taught not to express their feelings.
For some guys, it’s easier to let their emotions be known through actions than to get all sloppy with words.
It may be hard for you to recognize the signs that he’s opening up to you, but you should definitely pay close attention to what he does, as he might be giving you clues to how he’s feeling inside.