Most relationships don’t end by mutual agreement. More often than not, one partner just stops caring while the other one is still in love.
If you thought that your love was mutual, and suddenly he breaks up with you, don’t worry, darling, you’re not alone.
Having to deal with the vast emptiness that your partner has left you with can prove to be rather difficult. It is hard to move on once you are left alone.
The residues of love and commitment left can fuel hope that your relationship will continue once again.
If the answer to the question, “Is there a man in your life who you just can’t stop thinking about?” is positive, you are in the right place.
The reasons why you are stuck with those love feelings can have a connection with your emotional maturity.
Mature women know how to deal with breakups and know how to get over those feelings of resentment and despair.
Nothing hurts more than a broken heart.
After a breakup, you are left there with a sore wound, wondering if you will have the strength to move on from such a traumatic event as losing someone you love.
Your friends and your family will tell you that this is a great opportunity for self-development, to see the breakup as a new beginning rather than an end.
However, the feelings that you have of sorrow and grief is something they cannot understand.
The feelings that follow a breakup are anything but positive. You should know how to turn over a new leaf and move on from your ex.
Don’t get me wrong. It is quite possible to love your ex and at the same time not be in a relationship with him anymore.
I think that being able to let go of your ex is part of love.
If that’s true, then why can’t you get over him? That’s a great question, so read this if you want to find out some reasons why:
Time is the problem
If you try to find out why you have not been able to move on from your ex, look no further.
The simplest reason in most cases is that you have not given yourself enough time to heal since you broke up.
Your emotional stability and maturity depend on how much time you give yourself before you are ready to move on.
If you think that you have given yourself plenty of time, you should reconsider, as this isn’t always the case.
If the relationship lasted a long time, then you should give yourself more time than you think.
During the relationship with your ex, you may developed certain patterns and habits.
When you find yourself in a different situation, it may be hard for you to adjust. It’s like you have lost a part of yourself.
Just give yourself some more time to heal and you should be good.
If the problem still persists after several years then it is something else that is bothering you.
You failed to properly grieve
Doing what most people do, by sweeping those painful and bad emotions under the rug, will not provide you with the relief that you expect to have.
It is inevitable that you will just prolong the healing process.
If you drown your emotions and push them away, it will only get worse. For those emotions to disappear, you will need a long time.
You need to give yourself time to grieve.
If you jump into a new relationship without dealing with those emotions, you will only project them onto your new partner.
You need to face those emotions and deal with them.
Give yourself permission to grieve and one day, you will find a blissful moment when your ex doesn’t mean anything more to you than a person who once rejected you.
He is there for you when you need him
Every relationship has its happy moments. If yours ended when the two of you worked well together, it’s hard to comprehend why.
If your partner played a huge role in your life, for example, if he took care of you when you needed him, of course, it’s hard then to move on after you two have broken up.
Now you must deal with those problems on your own, and dealing with problems alone is never an easy task.
You might not be over them because their presence gave you a sense of security.
If you think that this might be the case why you can’t just move on, then take a step back and think about your priorities.
Your ex may be a good person and he may be there for you, but you are a strong woman, you can take care of yourself and that doesn’t mean that the two of you should be together.
The emptiness that you feel after a breakup is hard to fill.
That void can be a reminder of the roles that he played in your life and the best way to deal with that is to find a way to fill it.
If your boyfriend was the one to take care of the garage, now is the perfect time to sort out those boxes you haven’t opened in years.
If he was the one who took the car for a service, now is the perfect time to learn something about cars. There is always a way.
Not every role that he played could be replaced by someone else. Nevertheless, you can make it a little bit easier.
Just a reminder, if you find yourself desperate to replace him, please don’t go out and search for a new partner.
It will not solve the problem that you have right now.
He reminds you of old traumas
The traumas that you had in your childhood tend to come back when something bad happens in adulthood.
It relates to the process of healing a broken heart.
If you have difficulties letting go of your ex, it could mean that you experienced rejection, loss, or abandonment by a parent or someone close to you when you were young.
If you experienced this, then you might find it difficult to have a healthy relationship now.
Sometimes it is not the breakup itself that bothers you, but rather what that breakup means to you.
It is hard to face a breakup on your own. In this case, the best way to deal with it is to seek a therapist who can guide you through your healing process, and who can help you cope with the past.
You still communicate with each other
If you are still communicating or seeing each other, then it might be that what is keeping you from letting go of him.
You need to create your own new experiences, new paths, and new beginnings that don’t include him in your life.
For that to happen, you need to remove him from your life.
Don’t communicate with your ex, don’t talk or text, and most importantly, don’t follow him on social media or you will make it harder for yourself to let him go.
The best way is to implement the ‘no contact rule”, or to try to limit your contact as much as possible.
If he still persists in calling or texting you, make it clear that you want your space and set the boundaries straight.
Don’t be nasty or anything like that, but rather with a calm voice, explain to him that you are still hurt and that you need time to heal alone.
You cannot comprehend what happened
If you don’t understand the reason why you broke up, your mind will try to put the pieces together by analyzing the events that happened and will continue to analyze and think after the breakup.
If you want to have closure, you need to figure out what led to your breakup, which is essential if you want to move on.
Sometimes, even when they have figured out why they have broken up, people hold onto that and eventually become consumed and obsessed with it.
Having emotional distress can lead to a stage where your ego kicks in and turns to obsession about the causes of your breakup, and you start blaming everything that happened on you or your partner.
Don’t blame yourself if you cannot figure out why you broke up. Sometimes it simply doesn’t make any sense and you need to be okay with that.
People’s feelings are difficult to comprehend and it’s hard to figure out why they made a particular decision.
The best way to deal with it is to learn from the past and stop analyzing it.
You are isolating yourself
The fact that creating a connection with other people is difficult leads to us hide behind walls.
In today’s world, we are encouraged to give all of our love to one person – our romantic partner.
That being said, when we create a bond with somebody, it doesn’t need to be a romantic partner.
You can have deep, meaningful and caring connections with your friends or even with strangers.
If you are not open to meeting and getting to know other people, all of this is impossible.
Most people are afraid of being vulnerable and open to other people.
You feel like you can show your true self only to your romantic partner, and with others, you only show them pieces.
If you lose that person, you start distancing yourself from others and create a barrier that is hard to destroy somewhere down the road.
You become alienated, with no emotional intimacy in your life.
If your romantic partner was your only source of emotional intimacy, then the sudden lack of it will leave you unable to get over your ex.
He was the only source of that particular life energy, and now you find it difficult to move on.
The sooner you find out that he is not the only source, the better you will feel.
There are billions of people in this world and there is certainly someone who is waiting for you.
The deeper issue seems to be that you are unable to show your true self to anyone else.
This can lead to several major problems. You may start lying or deceiving people, or you can’t be completely authentic with anyone.
If you solve your problem, you will find love and happiness everywhere you go. People are truly magnificent.
The thing that bothers you now and the thing that keeps swirling around your head will eventually stop, trust me.
It is up to you to figure out whether that time will be now or later.
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