When you think of men, the last thing you’d assume is that they’d hate themselves. You don’t think of guys as ones who don’t know what self-love means and whose confidence is crushed on a daily basis.
Instead, you see them as tough human beings who don’t see themselves as not good enough and who love everything they are.
But when you meet a guy with low self-esteem and you enter into a relationship with him, your whole perspective on men changes. You’ll realize that things aren’t always the way they seem and that guys can have a hard time as well.
As unlikely as it sounds, some men have issues with confidence and do their best to hide it. But once you fall in love with someone who doesn’t think of himself as worthy and enough, you’ll realize the reality that people rarely talk about.
In the beginning, your guy seems perfect, and your relationship like a dream come true. But as you get to know each other better and the ball starts to unravel, you’ll start to see things you never noticed before.
At one point, you’ll realize that you’re in love with a man who has low self-esteem and it’ll be clear that this relationship will be different from your past ones. And here’s why.
1. He loves you eternally, but hates himself with the same intensity
When he looks at you, he sees everything he wants in a woman. In his eyes, you’re a flawless human being who deserves to be loved the hardest.
But when he looks at himself, he sees a below-average guy with heaps of flaws. His reflection in the mirror scares him and he can’t fathom what attracted you to him in the first place.
The amount of love he feels for you is equal to the amount of hate he feels for himself. And no matter how many times you show him that he’s an amazing guy who doesn’t need to change, he’s unable to see that.
His whole life he’s been looking at himself, unhappy with what he sees. And now that someone finally loves him for who he actually is, he simply can’t process that as the truth.
Every time you tell him that you love him, he’ll keep asking himself, “How could you love me when there’s nothing lovable about me?”
2. He always feels that he doesn’t deserve you
As your relationship progresses, you start to get to know each other better. You share with him some of your flaws and he’ll break down parts of his walls.
He’ll see how incredible a person you are and you’ll see the same in him. But no matter what, he won’t be able to realize why you feel that way for him.
Instead of enjoying his time with you, he’ll keep questioning how he managed to get so lucky to end up with you.
He won’t be able to admit to himself that he’s worthy of your love, time, and attention.
So, you’ll find yourself telling him that there’s a spark in him that he constantly keeps suffocating. There’s a value within him that he can’t see because he keeps trash-talking himself.
Because of that, you’ll have to be the one to remind him of his worth. You’ll have to be the one to show him that you love every aspect of his personality and that he shouldn’t change anything about it.
Actually, the only thing he should change is the way he sees himself. Only then will he be able to realize what he’s been missing out on.
3. He constantly tries to prove himself in front of others
How many times have you seen him trying to prove himself in front of others? His friends, family, people from work, or even you, all seem like a great audience to which he can show how good he is at something.
But have you ever thought that his need to show himself off is only a coping mechanism? It’s a distraction that keeps his mind busy so he doesn’t think negatively of himself all the time.
He believes that his ability to create something special is the only thing that determines his value. His ability to be different from other guys is the only thing that keeps you next to him.
He doesn’t see that he’s an amazing person who inspires you to be better. Instead, he sees himself as just an average guy who needs to prove himself in front of everyone in order to show he’s worth anything.
That’s why you’ll find yourself constantly convincing him that he doesn’t need to go to extraordinary lengths for you to see his worth. He doesn’t need to sweep you off your feet with his plans for the future.
You already see the value that he carries within himself, and that’s more than enough for you to keep showing him your love.
4. He’s jealous and insecure about other men
When you’re dating a man with low self-esteem, you’ll find yourself having to explain a lot of things, most of which unnecessary. But your guy won’t look at things the same way you do.
Every time you mention the name of some guy, you see the pain overtaking him. His eyes turn green from envy and you know that in his mind, he’s already made up a whole scenario.
He already sees you choosing others over him, even though you’ve given him zero reason for him to feel that way.
Day after day, he’ll need you to be his confidence boost, the one to remind him that you’re not leaving him, no matter what. You’ll have to keep mentioning to him that you’re not going anywhere and that no one could ever take his place.
All of these things will be a part of your reality, something you’ll have to cope with on a daily basis.
A guy who has low self-esteem will love you the hardest, but it will take a lot of time and energy to prove to him that you see the best in him.
It’s not easy, but if he’s meant to be, it’s definitely worth it.
So, the decision is yours. Do you think you can handle being in a relationship with a man who has low self-esteem or is it too much to ask?