It seems like such a crazy thing when people tell you to date yourself. It’s like they’re joking with you. Well, I’m here to tell you that there’s so much power in dating yourself that you may not even realize.
The first question that we need to answer is: Why should you date yourself?
When you jump from one relationship into the next, you don’t have time to stop and realize what you’re looking for. We always say that we teach other people how they should treat us, but how are you supposed to do that when you don’t even know how you want to be treated?
After all, you’re the only person out there who knows how to treat you right. You know what you need because you communicate those needs to yourself and you should always aim to meet them.
When it comes to relationships with others, you shouldn’t settle for anything less. Because the men who come into your life don’t have to compete with each other. They have to compete with your own solitude.
Is any man ever going to treat you better than you can treat yourself? Now, that’s a question you can only answer when you’ve dated yourself and know you have the right to pick who you’re going to entrust your heart to.
If you’d be happier dating yourself than a certain someone else, then there’s your answer. That person’s not the right one for you.
It’s truly that easy. Because if you don’t love yourself, you’re going to allow people to treat you poorly.
You have to fall in love with yourself before anything else.
Now that that’s out of the way, how can you date yourself?
1. Cook for yourself
At one point or another, we start to lose our connection with food. That happens because we stop taking care of ourselves or order too much takeout and don’t eat anything healthy.
But, you’d love to have your partner cook a great meal for you, right? You’d adore your future partner if he made the effort to bring you breakfast in bed every now and then.
And let’s face it, there’s nothing that makes you feel loved up more than seeing the love of your life in the kitchen cooking for you both.
You could be that for yourself! Yes, we all love to have someone else taking care of us, but now, you have to be that for yourself.
Cook up a wonderful dinner and put the candles on the table. You deserve it.
2. Take yourself out on a date
Life’s too short not to romanticize it, so go ahead and date yourself! At first, you may feel weird about it, thinking that everyone’s looking at you and judging you for sitting alone.
But this is the perfect time to go to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try out! If you don’t go to that museum now, are you ever going to be able to take someone else there? And who knows when that exclusive art exhibit will show again?
You could even take yourself on a regular coffee date. Take your favorite book with you and read as long as you need to.
My advice to you is to leave your phone at home, or put it in your bag and not look at it. This is the perfect opportunity to spend some quality time with yourself, so don’t waste it on social media.
Enjoy your own company. The first few times, it may be a little uncomfortable, but afterward, you’ll thank me.
3. Talk positively about yourself and to yourself
You’d never say something horrible about the people you love, now would you? You’d never let someone else talk negatively about a person you care for, right?
So why do you say negative things to yourself and about yourself? Why do you believe that there’s anything helpful in being so self-deprecating?
Be kind to yourself, be gentle, caring, and loving. Don’t say those hurtful things to yourself when you walk past a mirror, but rather learn to feel good in your own skin by complimenting yourself often.
When someone else says something bad about you, don’t internalize those words. Instead, protect yourself from those people like you’d protect the person you love.
4. Get to know yourself
Take a moment and think about how much you actually know yourself. Even if you think you know yourself well, there are still some questions that are unanswered. There are still things you don’t know about yourself.
You can easily look up “journal prompts” on the net to see all those questions people ask themselves, and write them down. Spend some time with yourself and write about everything you’re thinking and answer the questions you’ve been asking yourself.
When you date yourself, you have to know which parts of you are toxic, where the red flags are in your relationship with yourself, and so on. You can’t know the answers to these until you make the decision to get to know yourself.
Understand what parts of you have to be worked on. Not in the sense that you’re not enough as you are, but rather that you should be a better lover to the one person who’s always with you – you.
5. Buy yourself a nice gift
When you’re in a relationship, you always save up to buy your partner something beautiful. There’s no price limit on those things because you only want the best for him. But now’s the time to get something nice for yourself.
Buy yourself flowers, chocolate, that expensive perfume you’ve been eyeing for a while. You don’t need a man for that!
Your gift to yourself doesn’t even have to be materialistic. You could just as easily go for a spa day, buy tickets to a destination you’ve always wanted to visit – the sky’s the limit!
For that exact reason, you should date yourself! You can’t expect someone else to know what you desire most, but you definitely can.