The only thing we ever hear about a breakup is that it’s hard. Love hurts and breakups are tough to get over.
That’s all we’ve been told.
No one will sit down with you and tell you that no matter how many times you go through them, breakups always hurt the same way. You never get used to the pain and it always leaves you heartbroken.
No one tells you that the conversation about going your separate ways is the last time you’ll talk with the person who still means the world to you. Even if you say that you’ll stay friends, it hardly ever happens.
Your lives go separate ways and every way of keeping in touch gets blocked – by your family, his best friends, or even your new partners.
And though you made a promise to stay on good terms, chances are you’ll never again meet each other for a coffee.
No one tells you how much it hurts when the one you love most gives you a reason for his departure. When all of the time and energy you invested in this person is now wasted because apparently, you aren’t meant to be together.
And no one mentions how bad it hurts when the person who means the world to you decides that you’re not worth their love.
You end up confused because it hits you out of the blue and you’re not even sure what’s going on. Was there something you did wrong? Could you have still been together if you tried harder to make it work?
Those questions rarely get answered and you cry yourself to sleep, thinking about the one that got away.
Even though he hurt you by breaking up with you, for a certain amount of time, you wonder if your actions hurt him.
You want to reach out to him and ask him what went wrong, but you know that he won’t pick up his phone. You want to send him a message, but you know that he’ll leave it on unread.
And then, it hurts even more when you realize that the one you planned your future with turned into the biggest stranger you know.
The love of your life left you and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Any action you take is in vain because he’s not coming back.
And that realization tears you apart.
No one lets you in on how heartbroken you feel the first morning after the breakup. When you reach for your phone intending to send him a “good morning” message, only to realize you’re not allowed to do that anymore.
The one you still love won’t be happy to hear your voice. His heart won’t skip a beat when he sees your name on his screen after he had a rough day at work.
Your reality changes completely. And even though you want everything to stay the way it was, it looks like your chosen one wants that change.
You have dreams about him. That’s the only place where you can hold him in your arms.
You see his reflection in every guy that walks past you. Still, none of them are him and that realization hurts more than anything else.
Your body feels like it’s lost all energy, but you don’t bother to pick yourself up and grab something to eat. It seems like there’s no point in living your life the way you did before, as the one you wanted to share it with is now gone.
No one tells you that those first months, nothing makes you happy. You feel like a lost cause.
You see your friends trying to make you smile, but there’s no reason for it. Don’t they see that your heart is broken and that no amount of laughter can take this pain away from you?
Even when you force yourself to go out, there’s a hidden reason behind it – you wish to see him. All of your outings have one intention only – to meet him and steal a glance at his face.
But then when you do see him, you end up running away as fast as you can so he doesn’t see all of the tears running down your cheeks. And you hope he’ll come after you and comfort you, but you know that won’t happen.
He’s moved on and it hurts to know that. While he’s rebuilding his life, you’re still stuck in yours, unable to move forward.
And your heart still sinks every time you hear your song on the radio. You still try to avoid all those happy couples who remind you of the two of you.
You fight with yourself, with all those memories that are stored in your head. If only you could delete them all and make them go away, maybe things will be easier for you.
But moving on isn’t easy. That’s also one of the things people don’t tell you.
They try to convince you that time is your best friend and that everything will go back to the way it was. But they fail to let you know that some days, your emotions overpower you and you drown in your own pool of tears.
You’re gasping for air while asking yourself for the millionth time, “Why did he leave me?”
These raging feelings last for some time. You don’t feel like yourself and have no idea how to escape the pain.
And it hurts. It hurts like hell, even though you pretend that everything is fine.
But always remember one thing – it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to feel everything and anything, all at once, because that’s the only way to learn to deal with a breakup.
And lastly, no one tells you that you never actually get over the breakup. Parts of the person who meant the world to you will always be a part of you as well. That’s never going to change.
But you’ll learn to live without him, and at one point, you won’t shed a tear when you hear his voice. You’ll know that he was supposed to be a chapter in your life and you’ll accept that as a truth.