Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be in an almost relationship? Have you even wondered whether it’s easier because there are no strings attached but you still get everything you’d get in a relationship?
I hear so many people tell me that they would love to be in a relationship like that. One where they get all the benefits of a relationship but without the commitment.
It’s scary to see how many people romanticize relationships like this, when there’s nothing to romanticize. The only feeling that’ll repeatedly show itself in a relationship like this is complete and utter disappointment.
You may be wondering why that’s even a thing. Shouldn’t I be happy that I get to spend time with someone amazing while being completely free to do whatever I want?
Well, I wish it was that easy. It’s not.
When you want something serious with them, you feel anything but happiness. You want this person to be exclusively yours, you want to spend your days with them without feeling like you’re a burden.
I feel like I’m overstaying my welcome most of the time.
When we spend a few hours together, it’s fine but there are times when I can feel that he doesn’t want me around. I feel the way he gets more annoyed, so I pack my stuff and leave.
In an almost relationship, you feel isolated.
You know almost nothing about the life of the man you’re seeing. Sometimes, he gives you a peek into his personal life and thoughts but most of the time, you’re left to question yourself without any proper explanations for anything.
You don’t want to be the girl who asks too many questions and even if you wanted to, you can’t, because he’s not your man.
People don’t even know that you’re seeing each other. They know that there’s some weird tension between you two but things never seem to go further than that.
His friends think that you’re just sleeping with each other. They don’t know about the hushed conversations until morning or about all those times he holds your hand when no one’s looking.
I can tell you with certainty that an almost relationship is anything but fun. If you feel like things would be more exciting this way, then I hope you know just how heartbreaking it can be at times.
In an almost relationship, you never know whether you’re the only girl in his life.
He makes up his own rules. You’ll want to believe that he’s all yours, that he’s not looking at other women, just like you’re not looking at other men, but no one can guarantee you that.
If you’re like me and you don’t know how to talk about your feelings, then you’ll never tell him about your jealousy. That jealousy can be like a poison, consuming you from the inside out.
Whenever he talks to another woman, you’ll feel threatened. You’ll feel as if he’s betraying you and you have to swallow your emotions just to remind yourself that he doesn’t owe you anything.
You can’t bring yourself to do the same thing. You can’t just go out of your way to flirt with someone else when the man you want the most is right there in front of you.
When I’m involved with someone, I focus on them completely. I believe that you’re the same as me.
When you’re in an almost relationship, you’ll feel helpless.
He’s so kind and caring behind closed doors but the moment you decide to be with other people, he acts as if he only knows you as a friend. He doesn’t want people to confuse you for a couple.
So every single time you try to talk to him about it, he brushes it off. He makes it seem as if you’re crazy for even considering something serious.
You’ll feel helpless and hopeless because you don’t know how to talk to him without causing a scene.
You can’t just tell him that you love him. If you did, he’d walk out of your life immediately and no one wants that.
I don’t want my almost relationship to fall apart because there’s a small part of me that still believes he’ll fall in love with me too. After a while, you’ll start to think like this as well.
You and I are a lot alike. We both believe in true love and that it’ll find its way to us.
Sometimes, we’ve been so heartbroken that we wanted to give up all on love but we never did. That’s why we’d even agree to things like this.
The man I’m seeing was supposed to be a toy for my own satisfaction. I wanted something without any strings attached and look at me now.
I wanted something casual at first but now, this entire thing just feels forced. There isn’t a morning when I wouldn’t love to wake up next to him.
When he’s anywhere near, I would love to hug him or hold his hand but I can’t. And I probably will never be able to.
Because he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want me in that sense.
One day, he’ll be gone and my heart will be broken. My head will be filled with too many ‘what ifs’ and I’ll imagine a world where things would’ve ended differently.
Even though I know that it’ll inevitably happen, I’d like to hold on to him for a while longer. Or better yet, for as long as he’ll allow me to.
I know that I’ll end up heartbroken but it would hurt more to leave.
So if you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to be in an almost relationship, it’s like a living hell that you just can’t seem to escape. Someone else owns your body and heart but you have just a crumb of theirs.
It’s sad but it’s the ultimate truth. At the end of the day, I really hope you won’t have to ever go through this but if you do – good luck!
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