When you’re the CEO of ignoring red flags, the world feels like a nice place, I swear it does! But this feeling only lasts as long as you don’t realize that you’re living in an illusion.
Until that moment, you do your best to convince yourself that you’re actually happy. You cover up all of the red flags with excuses and you pretend like you’re living your best life.
Once you realize that your partner doesn’t know how to solve conflicts, you start sweeping all of the issues under the rug. You know that you should talk about them but at the same time, you’re aware that you won’t come up with any solutions.
Your partner will stonewall you or he’ll go missing for days. So, to save yourself from the anxiety you would feel in a situation like that, you simply pretend like you’re happy and as if nothing’s wrong.
Eventually, the problems under the rug will accumulate to the point where you’ll keep tripping on them whenever you make a move. But until that happens, you’ll act that you’re happy, living the life you always wanted.
Deep down, you know that you’re seeing one of the first red flags but you choose to ignore it.
After a lack of will for solving conflicts, your partner will probably show signs of controlling behavior. You’ll choose your outfit based on his approval, text him where you are and with whom, and he’ll always need to know when you’re coming home.
Even if you don’t feel comfortable with this behavior, you’ll choose to ignore it. You’ll make excuses for him, convincing yourself that he’s just worried about you and that he’s trying to protect you.
Day after day, you’ll lose bits of your self-esteem, as you’ll keep doing things that he wants you to do. He’ll keep controlling you and as the CEO of ignoring red flags, you won’t do anything about it.
You’ll simply play by his rules, even though you know you’re making a mistake.
More proof that he’s clearly trying to change you will appear when your family and friends share their concerns with you. They will explain to you why they think that your partner isn’t the best choice for you.
But even then, you’ll choose to ignore reality and focus on the illusion of happiness you’ve created. Instead of finally admitting to yourself that your boyfriend is changing you, you’ll put the blame on your friends and family.
You’ll probably accuse them of never liking your boyfriend anyway. Or you’ll even go as far as to tell them that they’re jealous of your happiness.
A part of you knows that you’re feeding yourself with lies. You’re ignoring the truth because you can’t stand it yourself.
But once the deed is done, there will be no coming back. You’ll isolate yourself from them and you’ll be left with your partner to live a secluded life.
After that will come another red flag you’ll ignore. You’ll notice that your partner is secretly happy that you ended contact with your loved ones.
This whole time, his goal was to separate you from them. He repeated to you many times that they’re a bad influence and that you deserve far better than that.
Maybe you actually thought that he cared about you, when in fact he simply wanted you just for himself. He didn’t want to share you with anyone since he knew that they could open your eyes and show you how bad of a person he really is.
But as long as you’re spending time with just him and as long as your rose-colored glasses are on, he’s safe. He knows that he can’t lose you.
This can be followed by different red flags that you will, of course, ignore. Maybe he’ll pressure you to move through the relationship way faster than you initially wanted to.
No, it doesn’t mean that he’s so in love with you that he can’t wait for the day where you’ll be walking down the aisle. It actually means that he wants to secure you fast, before you change your mind.
Perhaps he’ll make you feel like you’re always the one who gives in. And when you try to point that out to him, he’ll try to assure you that it’s called compromising.
Of course, you’ll accept his explanation even though you know that compromises are meant to be made by both partners and not only one.
You don’t even compromise on trivial things like choosing the restaurant where you want to eat. How can you then expect him to agree on the more important stuff?
It’s obvious by now that you’ll lose your own voice and become his puppet. He’ll control you the way he wants and you’ll always keep looking for excuses to justify his behavior.
That’s what the CEOs of ignoring red flags always do. They desperately look for explanations to make it easier for themselves.
I know this is true as I’ve experienced it firsthand. I lost my voice and let my partner guide me through life.
Instead of reacting whenever I saw that things weren’t as perfect as I tried to picture them, I ignored my gut feeling and pretended that I was happy.
Even when my friends and family warned me and tried to help me get out of the relationship, I couldn’t admit to myself that I had made such a huge mistake.
I thought that maybe if I kept pretending that things would finally take a turn for the better. My boyfriend would change his behavior and he’d finally treat me the way he was supposed to.
But in the end, I ended up all broken and without an ounce of self-confidence inside of me. He broke me into pieces, the man I loved.
He chose to manipulate me until he got what he deserved. I guess that’s what happens when you choose to go against your own happiness.
When you’re the CEO of ignoring all of the red flags, you willingly set yourself on a journey that will change the rest of your life. I successfully escaped him using the last atoms of energy I had left inside of me.
However, you don’t have to wait that long. If you realize that something’s wrong, walk away immediately.
Your gut feeling is always right and if you choose to ignore it, you may end up losing yourself and all of your values, hopes, and dreams.