Whenever you turn on the TV or read a romance novel, it’s always the perception of love through rose-colored glasses.
To those people, love seems like the easiest thing in the world. It’s all about smiles and giggles, and the male protagonist is always the one to chase after the woman.
Things seem like the perfect balance of passionate kisses and gentle embraces.
Those glasses make every red flag seem like decoration on the side of the road to the perfect love story. People don’t see them so they don’t react to them at all.
Before those same glasses crack and remind you that love isn’t always filled with rainbows and butterflies, it’s hard to believe that things aren’t perfect.
You fall in love with the small things.
You see the way he gets lost in his own thoughts and your heart melts at the sight of him. Whenever he speaks, your entire body trembles from his voice. And when you feel his hand in yours, you don’t ever want him to let go.
The infatuation is so intense that you believe there’s nothing you two can’t overcome. That if everything’s as passionately chaotic as this honeymoon stage of a relationship, then love is the most perfect thing in the world.
Truth be told, things are so much more complicated than that.
The issue is that you get blinded by these rose-colored glasses to the point where you fail to see the person for who they are.
You forget to pay attention to the things that matter the most and you don’t even know if you’re compatible with each other.
You forget to ask the most important questions about the future because you believe that you have all the time in this world to get to know each other. But sometimes, it’s not that easy.
So when those glasses shatter and you see the real person, it can get very overwhelming.
The first time they crack, you can also feel your heart skip a beat in a very painful way. Your mind can’t comprehend that this is the person you love.
At this stage, you’re in denial. You don’t acknowledge the fact that you’ve just seen the real person behind the facade they’ve put up for you.
And every time this happens in the future is just one more crack that slowly but surely reveals his true colors.
When all those butterflies fly off, a different type of magic occurs.
Of course, sometimes they’re replaced by complete darkness. But other times, it merely shows you a different type of beauty. It’s no less beautiful than when you look at it through infatuation, but just a different type of love.
When you fall in love with the person in their natural colors, that’s when you know it’s real.
You wanted to sleep beside them, but the moment you do, you realize they aren’t the most peaceful sleeper. You wanted to live with them, but you didn’t know they like to play music the entire day.
Those little things can be so extremely annoying. For someone like you, it may be a little too much. But you love this person, so you let these things go.
Just like when they’ll wipe your tears when you watch a movie. Or how they’ll take care of you when you’re sick and tired.
You’ll watch each other grow through uncomfortable times. The mornings when you avoid kissing each other before brushing your teeth will become your favorite parts of the day. You’ll share those mornings together, filled with coffee and soft whispers.
You won’t need those pink-colored glasses anymore. You’ll love each other just the way you are. The magic and the connection between you will become the most beautiful thing in the world.
When the butterflies fly away and your anxiety disappears, security and comfort remain. You won’t be so nervous around him anymore, so you’ll be able to act like yourself.
I’ve heard someone say once that “romance is performative.” It’s true in a sense because, in the early stages, we want to show each other the best parts of ourselves.
We want to spoil our partners and to portray the idyllic picture they always dreamed of.
So when those whimsical lenses are taken off, you put your soul out in front of them. You want them to see the real you and decide, once more, if they want to love you.
This is the moment you realize that you have a partner for life.
You will be his shoulder to cry on. He’ll be the person to stroke your hair while you’re falling asleep. You’ll fight with him, you’ll break down in front of him, you’ll question everything – but you’ll find a way back to each other.
It’s never easy to admit to yourself that your partner isn’t perfect. It’s hard to convince yourself that this side of him is just as beautiful as the one filtered by your rose-colored glasses.
When those glasses are off, that’s when your love story actually begins. That’s when all the movies make sense and all the poetry resonates with you.
It’ll make you want to write your own poems about soup on snowy days and the way his hair flops over his eyes. This is when things won’t seem so peachy, but they’ll still be perfect in their own imperfect way.
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