Let’s be real, there is simply no magic wand that can solve all of your problems. You have to do it on your own. The only thing you have to figure out is how.
I may be able to help you a bit when it comes to textationships. I assume you’re tired of all that texting back and forth and never receiving anything valuable from it. Honestly speaking, it sucks.
Relationships on their own can be a bit demanding – maintaining a healthy relationship should be listed in our resumes as a special skill! As if monogamy and polygamy weren’t complicated enough, we’ve now got all these new types of relationships.
No wonder the new generations are struggling to define what they have with someone. Anyway, back to your textationship…
Maybe it was thrilling at first for you to text with him, to ask him questions you probably wouldn’t be able to ask in person. But now you’re kinda bored with it. You want something more, or you want to break it off – two simple solutions.
The whole picture is utterly important when determining which way you want to take the relationship. Think about everything thoroughly before making a final decision.
I’ll give you some tips on how to solve all your textationship problems. If you decide to follow these, I promise you won’t be stuck in one any time soon.
1. Set boundaries
First and foremost, set some boundaries, but keep it classy. Next time he starts texting you and pushes you to have a longer texting session, refuse, but politely. Don’t overreact or make a fuss out of it, simply set some ground rules.
If he’s going to be persistent with texts, write him something like “I’m sorry, but this is not the kind of relationship I’d like to have. You seem like a great guy and if you’d like to make it official, let me know.”
This way you’ll show him that you know your worth and he’ll either step up his game and show up for you, or he’ll leave your life. Consider it a win in either case.
2. Don’t answer immediately
Postpone replying to his message. I know this can be considered as ghosting, but I’d call it a good technique to avoid being stuck in a textationship. I know it may be difficult to control yourself, especially if you really enjoy texting with him.
But why invest your time and energy in something that may never exist IRL? Not answering immediately will make him think about everything you have and he may suggest a meeting.
If he cares as he says in his messages, he’ll do something about your relationship. You’ll wake up his curiosity, because you not responding instantly is something new. This may actually be your ticket out of this kind of relationship.
3. Be honest
If you really don’t want a textationship, be clear about it. It would’ve been perfect if you were honest from the start, but you probably weren’t sure if you’d like the guy or not.
Nobody can read your mind, so you have to vocalize your thoughts. Even though it may be a bit difficult, it’s the best thing you can do.
Firstly, clarify the situation with yourself. Specify everything you expect from him and this relationship and then see how things unfold. Who knows, you may be on the same wavelength.
I mean, the poor guy may have been thinking about a serious relationship for a while now, but you wrote something that made him change his mind.
It could be just some misunderstanding, but the only way to know this is to play open cards. If he’s willing to change the situation, he genuinely cares about you and you’ve just put up some requirements.
4. Be a little rebellious and break the rules of textationship
Being rebellious from time to time is a good thing. I mean, remember your teen days? Don’t tell me you didn’t do something just because someone forbade it. We’ve all been there, so why not do it again?
Be a rebel one more time and break those rules (they exist solely for that purpose, if you ask me). Who said you have to text all the time? What’s wrong with phone calls and late-night Facetiming until you both fall asleep? I’ll tell you – nothing!
These are all beautiful aspects of a long-distance relationship and if you’re currently unavailable to see each other IRL, you can treat what you have as such and make it work.
5. Adopt new habits
I assume there is something you always wanted to do, but somehow you’ve been lacking time. There are no excuses now. If you could spend hours texting with that guy of yours, you surely can start learning a new language and playing a musical instrument.
Are there some of your hobbies impatiently waiting to be started again? C’mon, take that paintbrush and create! Go out for a walk, start jogging, or adopt a dog. Establish new, healthy habits that will change your life for the better, and take the trash out.
These five steps are extremely important, but in all this, remember one thing: You have to know your worth! That’s something you should never compromise on, no matter the circumstances.
Simply focus on your well-being and you won’t be caught in these “pseudo relationships” anymore. But if you enjoy these textationships, it’s totally fine. You’re the one in charge of your own life and happiness.
So, follow your gut feeling and enjoy every step of the way!
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